Confused About My GF's Sexual Satisfaction!

[JHova1378]

Hello all!

I have recently signed up for this forum and I am hoping that I came to the right place to help solve my issue!

About 7-8 months ago, me and my girlfriend (now ex) had broken up after a 2 year relationship. The reason (according to my now ex) was because she did not feel the same about me, nor did she see me in her future. I accepted her feelings and we mutually split and went on with our lives. About 3-4 months after, I met a new girl whom I am currently in a relationship with (as did my ex, funny right?) I would like to think that we have a great and fun relationship, whether it be cooking dinner together, drinking wine, snuggling, etc., we are always having some sort of fun. One of the biggest differences between my ex and my new girl is that my ex was very outgoing and wild, whereas my new girl is very shy and reserved.

With that being said, I must admit that my ex was extremely good in bed. She had the skills to satisfy me whenever we did it, and I apparently had the skills to satisfy her as well, unless she was faking, of course. Our sex life was full of fun, toys and just pure excitement for the longest time. (towards the end it slowed down majorly) Now, on the other hand, my new girl is a bit older than me and even though that is the case, she seems very inexperienced in the bedroom. Now for some reason I have a feeling that I may not be "big" enough for her (if you know what I mean) and that maybe she is used to something "bigger". (I would consider my size as "average") It is hard to tell because most of the time, she has an orgasm and everything is good, but sometimes she seems very bored and not satisfied at all. She doesn't like to ride on top, but rather most of the time, she likes it when I do all the work. (which I think has to do with her being so shy) I try my best each time to satisfy her but I can't really get a good read on her as she always seems so "flat" with her emotions before and after.

Now I have been thinking of buying a toy or two to try and spice it up for her, but I am not sure how she will react to such a thing as she is, again, very prudish. One thing that she did that really surprised me was she started taking birth control, shortly after we started having sex. (she claimed it was very other health reasons, but who knows) I also have to admit that she has been freaky at times during sex, but most of the time it is just basic sexual activities until we both reach our points and that's it. My goal is to really knock her socks off her feet and make sure really enjoy our sexual intercourse, though I am confused as to how to make that happen since I do not want to make her nervous or scare her with any more "freaky" activities.

Ladies, what do ya'll suggest? Thank you in advance!

[cheeky&sexy]

How is the connection with you outside of the bedroom? I know you said you have lot's of fun, but on a deeper level.

I'm only asking because for a female in a relationship I think the physical and emotional are connected during sex. The only time when I got lazy during sex and didn't do much was when I was losing interest in my ex boyfriend and he was making sex seem like a chore that I had to do. Does she seem like she's in the mood to have sex before you start having sex? The other thing is that you could just have different sex drives. Maybe she doesn't want to have sex as often as you do, but she's not saying anything because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, so she just has sex when she doesn't feel like it.

Personally, I don't think toys are the answer. Start by trying some new positions and new locations for sex to make it more interesting before you bring in the toys. Or even go lingerie shopping and buy her an outfit that makes her feel sexy.

You could also try getting tipsy on alcohol together (not saying to get her wasted), that might loosen her up.

[basilandthyme]

JHova, you can't knock her off her feet if she's not open to it. While a lot of sexual response is skill based, even the most skilled lover won't get anywhere with a person who's got their mind set against it. For us to get anywhere, we have to open our minds and embrace the openness which is required for a mind blowing shag.

She is the only person who can address her prudishness. If she's an amazing person other than the sex thing, then perhaps some individual sex therapy may help her. But if she's happy as she is, she won't be open to that.

In short, you're going to have to have a talk about your needs. Find out whether or not she's open to change.