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Thread: A hermit's ordeal

  1. #1
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    A hermit's ordeal

    Hello everyone!
    Today and for the first time ironically ,i've decided to raise the issue of cold love ,or what i think it is, anyways!
    It isn't much of a long story sadly ,actually it isn't a story. Just something that needs clarification-
    Audacious intro aside, a little about my character ,a hermit (social yet hate to be too social ,always love to have some alone time despite other people's invites) i'm a reserved guy ,always been always will, a bit shy when it comes to love (hence it took me this long to talk about it) and too patient really,had lots and lots of love opportunities, shooted down all of them. So 0 relationships.

    Why am i shooting down people who ask me for a date? Because of my little ordeal ,which is ,a childhood love story!
    We loved each other as kids ,grew up and well now we're both loving each other silently ,we meet up once a week with a group of people talk about the usual life stuff ,not once really talking about romance ,so it's a silent love story, a cold one😉.
    A cold love basically is ,you know you love one another ,you're committed even though your not in a relationship you're okay not seeing her even of she was away. Not really annoyed about it nor happy ,going with the flow i suppose.

    Alright so this thing can keep on and on for ages yet it needs a climax, im not really on the edge of my seat for a new level when it comes to my love life, yet she's getting marriage proposals and turning them down (i think? Cause its unnatural she's still single). So this thing can't keep up eitherway.

    To let you know how i feel about all of this matter:
    "like 2 elderly Who lived their life ,loved each other to their utmost enjoyed the romance they had all of these years and continue to see the flame of love with their passionate looks to each other"(P.S that didn't happen its just so you could grasp the feeling!)

    the question is as a guy , a straight alpha male, is it normal not be interested in love and turning down people ,having a cold love ,and most importantly, is this really cold true love.

    P.S would you turn down kim Kardashian or another model if she asks you out? Cause i will wholeheartedly😉
    Last edited by Fuzzyfeeling; 30-05-15 at 01:35 PM.

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    Does she turn down the proposals because she wants to be married to you and is waiting for you to ask her to marry you? What do you think, would you ever marry her if not then let her move on and be with someone who will marry her and love her. Are you scared to be in a committed relationship and not be so reclusive? Either pull her close or let her go.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by dollhouse View Post
    Does she turn down the proposals because she wants to be married to you and is waiting for you to ask her to marry you? What do you think, would you ever marry her if not then let her move on and be with someone who will marry her and love her. Are you scared to be in a committed relationship and not be so reclusive? Either pull her close or let her go.
    Due to a financial and economic situation i can't really propose ,if it wasn't for that i certainly will( and she knows that by the way) ,YET it's not really an excuse. I could further develop our relationship without the marriage ,not doing so has a reason of course
    -being in a direct upfront relationship might result in losing her (happens to all relationships)
    Im not really scared when it comes to that we're pretty understanding ,yet it's still in the corner of my mind as it's natural.
    Second important thing is ,we both love playing hard to get.

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    It doesn't cost any money to propose if you do something romantic, pick found flowers, make a sweet card, go to a pretty location with the promise of a ring to follow ( can always buy a promise ring that is 50.00 or less too ) not all women need a 3000 dollar ring, they want the man they love to express his love back.

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    Well, if you're both playing hard to get, neither of you will get anything. Sooner or later she'll accept a proposal and voila, end of cold-love story.

    It is a bit strange that you're happy meandering through this; make a move or don't and move on. Better to have tried than not - you'll may regret your comfortable non-action at some point. I just don't know how it works when two people enjoy the hard-to-get game...

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    Quote Originally Posted by TablesandChairs View Post
    Well, if you're both playing hard to get, neither of you will get anything. Sooner or later she'll accept a proposal and voila, end of cold-love story.

    It is a bit strange that you're happy meandering through this; make a move or don't and move on. Better to have tried than not - you'll may regret your comfortable non-action at some point. I just don't know how it works when two people enjoy the hard-to-get game...
    So it is bizarre afterall ,that's exactly why i put this up for discussion , and i can't seem to figure out the source of this satisfication.

    At this point im willing to try ANYTHING to lose this feeling of false-satisfication ,it's not that i do not want more out of this ,i do ,the magnitude of this feeling is what i'm willing change.

    From time to time i catch her stealing looks, and once blunt out kept gazing at her ,i was sleepy that day tho wasn't really aware and she shyed away ,then i left.

    Maybe because i'm busy almost all the time ,i just can't have time for love and other matters? That would be un-heard of.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by dollhouse View Post
    It doesn't cost any money to propose if you do something romantic, pick found flowers, make a sweet card, go to a pretty location with the promise of a ring to follow ( can always buy a promise ring that is 50.00 or less too ) not all women need a 3000 dollar ring, they want the man they love to express his love back.
    The thing is im at the army so at the moment i do not have time hence why i can't propose ,will be away almost all of the time. Getting a long-term vacation a year from now (will be done by that time) and i would propose after that.
    Also, Doing that out of the blue will certainly lead to an emotional-breakdown, maybe go for something a little less romantic for starters😉

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    An update on the situation:
    We met up today ,as usual ,she was in the next room so haven't seen her. found out later she was pretty sick tho she made sure to attend, not sure myself why would she do that ,then her pops comes up and said she might need to go to a hospital yet again ,when i heard of that i didn't really know what to do ,go to the room she was sitting in and check on her? ,atleast tell her something like get well soon? , but nope did nothing ,most likely because i knew she wouldn't really want me to see her while she's sick.
    Anyway ,my car was behind her father's ,so went to park the car elsewhere ,i saw her father coming , i suggested if i should accompany him to the hospital, while doing so she headed out and heared me say that.

    Question: wonder how she felt like when she heard me suggest ,it was obvious i was worried yet i said nothing to her personally ,how do you girls react to such a situation and such ,more importantly am i just being nice or do i really love her?

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    Make your move and don't keep her waiting

  9. #9
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    If you allow financial situations or lack there of to burden matters of your heart, you will regret it.

    Money means bugger all when it comes to telling someone you love that you love them.

    Stop procrastinating. Seriously, knock it off. Your only hurting her and yourself by delaying

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