Advice please - confused

[Deerhound]

Hi

I've been in my current job about 18 months now and my feelings for a male colleague have even growing for the past 8 to 10 months or so.

While he's a friendly, funny guy, he keeps his home life kind of private and is quite a shy guy on the relationship front. Some of my colleagues know I like him and have known him longer than me and said in the 7 years they've known him they've never known him to have a girlfriend. None if us think he's a one night stand kind of guy either.

He's in his mid 20s, as am I.

We all chat in work and there's always lots of banter. Occasionally I've caught him looking at me and
vice versa and we've quickly looked away.

We've had lots of chatty banter for ages via text. He has recently started to put 'x' at the end of texts sometimes.

A few months ago when his parents we're on holiday, he phoned me slightly drunk and we chatted. He said to come over for a drink. It was 11pm and I was already in bed for work the following morning. He said he'd take me in work on the morning. I declined his offer. He said a few days later he didn't realise how late it was. So nothing came of that.

He has called a few times since and we've spoken about our dogs and work and stuff.

A few weeks ago he called me, slightly drunk again and we chatted. He also text and put two 'xx' at the end of texts that night. He asked me was I up for a dog walk the following day. I said yes and we met up for a walk. He knows I like his dog and if felt more friend zone than anything else though.

He doesn't call or text anyone else as much as me as far as I know.

I just can't work him out at all.

Thoughts and advice please?

[Showmesomelove]

Sounds like he likes you to me. Sounds like he loosens up after a drink too.

Arrange to go for a casual drink after work, get the shots in and tease the truth out of him.

Date, marry, kids, grandchildren etc
X

[Deerhound]

I'm glad you don't think I'm reading too much in to this.

I wonder if it might be because he wouldn't date anyone from work...? He's a funny guy....hot one minute then cold the next....bloody men..

[Showmesomelove]

Yer, men are a bl**dy nightmare

[nootkan]

He is most definitely interested in you. He is a very shy person and probably a bit introverted based on your description of his choice to keep his life private. Just keep doing what you are doing by accepting the offers that feel comfortable to you and when you get a chance just probe into his life a little more with the goal of getting him to open up a little each time. He will feel more comfortable over time and get to know you a lot better also. When the time is right let your feelings be known and ask if they are reciprocal.

Be patient as he has probably been this way all his life so opening up isn't something he feels comfortable doing, but if he (and I believe he is) truly interested in you, he will want to keep doing things that make you happy and coming around.

Try to steer away from getting him drunk as that may sabotage the relationship when in fact that isn't what he wants. If you can, keep it to a couple of casual drinks to lighten the mood and build his confidence which may allow him to open up to you.

Otherwise just keep doing the things that both of you seem to like to do together and eventually the relationship will develop further and the time will be right to get your feelings out in the open and proceed to the next stage of the relationship. Good Luck.