I can't decide between moving closer to my parents, or staying with my friends...HELP

[THX]

I moved to Miami in late 2002 from a little town in Oregon. My parents were sad but somewhere in the back of their minds hoped I would be back. Somehow against all odds I made it here in Miami with no job or place to live as I headed out. Over the last 12 years my parents have been requesting in a non pushy way that I move back to the west coast where we can be closer and flights are more affordable and easier.

When I first got to Miami I was so excited. Everything was new. In recent years it feels as though I am living the same year over and over. In the last year I have been telling my family I would be looking to move to Los Angeles. With less than 2 months left on my lease I'm getting cold feet in a major way. I made some really good friends here. I consider them like family. I'm an introvert with low self esteem and it's very difficult for me to make friends. These guys accept me and look forward to seeing me. They are my best friends, My only friends.

When I was younger it was easy to throw such decisions into the future. I had plenty of time to course correct should I see fit. Now a few weeks away from 40 I feel the clock ticking. My parents wont be here forever. What message am I sending them if I ignore their plees to move closer to home. I think I'm a terrible son. I don't miss them as I should. I get bored when I'm home on vacation after a week. Sitting around playing candy crush and watching TV is not my idea of a good time.

Having a life time of people not giving a shit me makes me terrified at the prospect of moving to a new city. I have a great time with my friends and it feels great to be in the presence of people who know me and accept me.

I don't know what to do. I fear that one day when my parents pass on it will all become very clear to me what I should have done and I will have the rest of my life to marinate in my selfish sins. My legacy to them will be that I didn't care enough to sacrifice for them. On the flip side if I decide to move to Los Angeles I will be faced with the day to day loneliness of being away from the only real friends I've ever had.

I think some outside perspective will help. Thank you for all responses.

[basilandthyme]

I know your parents miss you, but it's wrong of them to guilt trip you into giving up your life and returning home. As a fellow introvert, I very much understand how important those handful of close friends are to you - and I understand that it would be really tough starting over again back home.

You're not wrong or bad to move away. Just make sure you catch up with them when you can