Girls lose interest in me quickly, what am I doing wrong?

[MrUnluckyy]

Hey I'm new here, I'm a 20 year old male (almost 21) and I've only had one girlfriend that only lasted like a week, tbh I don't remember how long it lasted me and the girl only met up once and it was rubbish. Anyway I used to really want a girlfriend like I used to daydream about having an relationship because I'm a really nice guy like people use the term whipped, yeah that's me I recently started watching a TV Series because a girl I like was like "you have to do it" Yeah, I'm ****ing pathetic. But after being played by a couple girls I just completely changed and had no interest in love. 1 girl told me she was really into me thought I was gorgeous always messaging me with 20 odd kisses yet whenether I asked her on a date she turned in down. There was another girl she was the girl I got my first kiss off and to date only kiss (took me 19 years and a shit ton of youtube videos to figure out how to kiss properly) she stopped talking to me too I think I know why with her because I didn't have sex with her (I'm a virgin I didn't know what to do we were laying in bed together and she was touching my cock up but I didn't take the hint) Anyway these incidents happened about 2 years ago and just made me hate love I had no interest in it at all that was until I met this girl online (yeah online I did say I'm pathetic) normally I get speaking to a lot of girls online on webcam type sites I guess they find me an attractive guy but normally we will speak and I'll add them on Skype and they will never talk to me again well this girl kept talking to me and we skyped like 5 days in a row for hours and hours (I once stayed up until 4AM when I had work at 8AM to talk to her) anyway this girl was saying I'm dreamy, gorgeous perfect etc she said she wanted a new boyfriend I thought well we live in different countries but **** it why not I asked her out and she said she wanted time to think, whats fair enough but she never told me the answer and takes hours and hours to reply UNLESS I call her beautiful or give her a compliment without fail she will reply in seconds saying "Noo, you're lying" I've thought about just leaving it because I'm never going to meet her especially because she takes like 5 hours to reply and got angry with me for taking 30 minutes to reply WHILE WORKING! But I keep coming back like the pathetic prick I am, I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong because EVERY GIRL said I was perfect, gorgeous and a genetleman because I'm not sexual like most guys yet always lose interest, I guess that saying "Nice guys finish last" is ****ing true because I'm so nice its pathetic like staying up when I had to work to talk on Skype watching a tv series that I had no interest in because a girl told me **** me

[TheEvilJester]

There is a such thing as being too nice. Without being closer to your situation, I can't really say if that is the case. I can just tell you that I've had experience with this in the past. I used to be a little too nice for my own good. I've been through a lot of crap in my life to the point where, in the past, I have shut down from the world completely. I always come out of it stronger than ever, though. One thing I REFUSE to let this craptacular world change about me is that, no matter how much I sometimes may wish this wasn't the case, I'm a nice guy. So, I refuse to change that about me..... however I'm very selective about who gets to benefit from my "nice guy" side, and I've better learned the limits of when it is time for no more Mr. Nice Guy. (No more Mr. Clee-e-e-ean)

The good news here is you are still young. 20! You are practically still a kid. There is nothing to be ashamed about that you are still a virgin. All the same, it sounds like a few women have hurled some pretty obvious singles at you that you admit yourself you missed. I mean, a girl was stimulating you with her hands and you didn't try to make a move at that point? Of course she'd be likely to feel a bit rejected from that.

You are nervous. That is understandable. Thing is, that isn't going to change unless you start trying. Now, as for this girl you met online.... you are from a different country, so a relationship is pretty unlikely. Even so, from your own admission, it sounds like she barely ever can bother to make time for you. In fact, even worse, it sounds to me like she HAS the time, but just doesn't bother to spend any of it with you. After all, you mentioned if you say something to compliment her she almost always responds right away, yet other times she does not. So, for that specific girl, I say time to move on. "Next" her, as the kids are saying these days.

For your overall experiences, without really knowing more of the details, I can't say what you could be doing wrong or what you should change. What you need to do, though, is make some effort to open up a little more. I am not saying it is easy, but the only way to really figure out what you may be doing wrong is to seriously examine where things seem to have gone wrong. Are you opening up too much too fast? Are you not opening up enough? Is there something specific you are doing that could be driving them away? Only you can really answer those questions.

Good luck to you.

[Khocie]

I think you are still young and you just have not met the right girl who will love you for who you are. I do not think there is anything wrong about being nice if that is the person you are, take this time as a platform of getting experience about females, do ask a girl out or girls just to learn and you might find the right girl in the process you will never know, Never give up on love every person is a lesson

[pcmaster]

At your age you shouldnt worry if you are too nice. You should be eating booty like groceries.

[TheEvilJester]

LOL! That's a very interesting way of putting it, but yes, good point. Should he also drop it like its hot? Turn down for what? Get that booty on the floor? And other slang I have no idea of the meaning behind, but it is fun to say anyway....

[MrUnluckyy]

There is a such thing as being too nice. Without being closer to your situation, I can't really say if that is the case. I can just tell you that I've had experience with this in the past. I used to be a little too nice for my own good. I've been through a lot of crap in my life to the point where, in the past, I have shut down from the world completely. I always come out of it stronger than ever, though. One thing I REFUSE to let this craptacular world change about me is that, no matter how much I sometimes may wish this wasn't the case, I'm a nice guy. So, I refuse to change that about me..... however I'm very selective about who gets to benefit from my "nice guy" side, and I've better learned the limits of when it is time for no more Mr. Nice Guy. (No more Mr. Clee-e-e-ean)

The good news here is you are still young. 20! You are practically still a kid. There is nothing to be ashamed about that you are still a virgin. All the same, it sounds like a few women have hurled some pretty obvious singles at you that you admit yourself you missed. I mean, a girl was stimulating you with her hands and you didn't try to make a move at that point? Of course she'd be likely to feel a bit rejected from that.

You are nervous. That is understandable. Thing is, that isn't going to change unless you start trying. Now, as for this girl you met online.... you are from a different country, so a relationship is pretty unlikely. Even so, from your own admission, it sounds like she barely ever can bother to make time for you. In fact, even worse, it sounds to me like she HAS the time, but just doesn't bother to spend any of it with you. After all, you mentioned if you say something to compliment her she almost always responds right away, yet other times she does not. So, for that specific girl, I say time to move on. "Next" her, as the kids are saying these days.

For your overall experiences, without really knowing more of the details, I can't say what you could be doing wrong or what you should change. What you need to do, though, is make some effort to open up a little more. I am not saying it is easy, but the only way to really figure out what you may be doing wrong is to seriously examine where things seem to have gone wrong. Are you opening up too much too fast? Are you not opening up enough? Is there something specific you are doing that could be driving them away? Only you can really answer those questions.

Good luck to you.

Knowing me opening up too fast I spoke to this one girl everyday for like weeks I asked her on a date what I thought was a normal thing to do she then said yes and didn't show up not only that but we arranged to go cinema to watch a film and she went and watched the same one with a friend because this was the first girl I had feelings for I tried again and didn't show up again then when I start talking to other girls she is messaging me like "Oh do you want to talk about our feeling, I like you" as for the second girl I know straight away what I ****ed up when she said "this is going to quickly between us" even though it was her who wanted to meet up I didn't have sex with her that was it I couldn't tell the signals but not just that we spoke for about a day and she was like I'm a gentleman because I don't talk sexually to women (find it embarrassing) next day she asked for a dick pic anyway when we were in bed watching films she said we are not having sex so I didn't want to touch her up incase I got done for rape or something now It looks like I should of so we stayed in contact because she has spoke to about 5 guys since then and slept with everyone.

As for this online girl I know it's online and we will never meet but I get feelings for women so hard that's why I'm trying to be a bit of a dick so we don't talk basically when we first spoke we messaged each other 100 + times a day she even skyped me when in the car with her parents (that was awkward) we just spoke and spoke then after a couple weeks I asked her if she is looking for a boyfriend she said yes (I asked because she put a status on Skype saying I want someone to care about me romantically) at this point I was thinking nice I might have an online relationship that's a good start for me so I asked her out she said she needs time to think about it now this is when it goes down hill since then we have gone from messaging 100 + times a day to about 5 one day we didn't speak at all only time I get quick replied is if I say something nice or i'm acting like a dick for instance I send a message saying "bye" anyway I asked her out about a week ago and she hasn't let me know and has been offish as **** so I told her I'm getting a new phone we won't be able to speak again I then get messages like "I don't want this to be the last time, I want to speak again I miss you" all that bullshit what I gather as she just wants attention,

[TheEvilJester]

Again, since I wasn't a fly on the wall for your interactions with the women you mention, I can't comment in detail. However for your first story, I don't think it sounds like you necessarily did anything wrong. If you two spoke every day for weeks and seemed to get along well, then why would you not ask her out? The only thing I'd say you did wrong was to keep giving her a chance after she stood you up in the first place. Unless she had a darn good reason for not showing up (especially without even telling you), she did not deserve another millisecond of your time. I can understand why you wanted to try anyway, but you owe it to yourself not to make a mistake like that again.

As for the online girl, maybe she doesn't want to have such a long distance relationship. It is possible she just wants to be friends, and maybe is somewhat avoiding you because she doesn't quite know how to handle that. Bottom line, though, there is no excuse for leading you on like this. If she doesn't want to be anything more than friends, then she should just say that. She can't tell you she'll "think about it" and then just never bother to say anything to you about it.

So, I would say you should just go ahead and stop talking to her. Move on and find somebody else. She lives too far from you to have any kind of consistent relationship anyway. If she wants to give you a chance, let her come back to you. Eventually you will find somebody who will want to be with you. Don't keep wasting your time on women who can barely be bothered to give you the time of day. You should never have to convince somebody of your worth. If they don't see it already, they don't deserve you in the first place.

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[MrUnluckyy]

Again, since I wasn't a fly on the wall for your interactions with the women you mention, I can't comment in detail. However for your first story, I don't think it sounds like you necessarily did anything wrong. If you two spoke every day for weeks and seemed to get along well, then why would you not ask her out? The only thing I'd say you did wrong was to keep giving her a chance after she stood you up in the first place. Unless she had a darn good reason for not showing up (especially without even telling you), she did not deserve another millisecond of your time. I can understand why you wanted to try anyway, but you owe it to yourself not to make a mistake like that again.

As for the online girl, maybe she doesn't want to have such a long distance relationship. It is possible she just wants to be friends, and maybe is somewhat avoiding you because she doesn't quite know how to handle that. Bottom line, though, there is no excuse for leading you on like this. If she doesn't want to be anything more than friends, then she should just say that. She can't tell you she'll "think about it" and then just never bother to say anything to you about it.

So, I would say you should just go ahead and stop talking to her. Move on and find somebody else. She lives too far from you to have any kind of consistent relationship anyway. If she wants to give you a chance, let her come back to you. Eventually you will find somebody who will want to be with you. Don't keep wasting your time on women who can barely be bothered to give you the time of day. You should never have to convince somebody of your worth. If they don't see it already, they don't deserve you in the first place.

Okay so today I spoke to this girl and turns out the reason she took ages to reply to me was because she started talking to her ex again and didn't want to hurt my feelings hence the ignoring and wanted to be friends so yeah mugged me off, I asked her why did she keep messaging me with lovehearts and stuff though and she said I don't know so I blocked her off every messaging site we used and will never speak to her again

[Chad89]

I don't think you should worry about not being nice, and I don't think you should start being a jerk.

Someday you'll meet a girl who appreciates you for who you are. It's just not your time yet, and you're young so I wouldn't worry about it.

You don't have to block that girl off every messaging site or never speak to her again. Be cool and be a friend to her.

[TheEvilJester]

I can understand that. IF she is being honest with you, I can understand how she would feel bad and kind of not know what to do, and I could understand that as an excuse for her basically ignoring you for a while. It was still wrong, of course, but I can understand how she'd have not wanted to hurt your feelings, but been uncertain how to be honest with you without doing so. IF she is being honest now, then I don't think she was necessarily meaning it maliciously, but in fact had your feelings in mind.

However, if you feel insulted by it enough to block her, that certainly doesn't make you wrong. I can understand how you feel. If you had/may have had interest in just being her friend, then maybe you take some time to cool down, unblock her, and try to be friends. If so, time will tell you whether she was being honest when she finally told you, or if it was just more cowardly BS. If you were really only interested in her if you could be more than friends, then it would be best just to move on.

Good luck to you either way.