To love two women?

[brunodude]

Years ago i was head over heels infatuated with this girl,i would have done everything for her at that time, but she was playing hot and cold and waiting to be "conquered". When she told me she was seeing somebody,although casually, i got cold and kinda gave up on her and in the meanwhile met my current girlfriend. I still wanted the first girl so i tried one last time and told her i wanted something, she refused,but when i told her about the other girl she got really offended and jelaous but it was too late because i was starting to feel something for the other girl and we eventually became bf and gf and we still are. Last week, after years, the first girl told me "i love you". It triggered something inside of me and i realised i still have some feelings for her and that i care for her....but in the same time i know that i love my girlfriend,so this duality is making me rather confused

Can you help me identify emotions for both?

Girlfriend: I never had a strong infatuation for her(guess i was drained from the last one) but had strong sexual desire, today i really care about her and thinking of her makes me feel blissful,peaceful,calm. she brings out feelings of joy,brightness and laughter out of me. i feel like we are soulmates and best friends,we really understand eachother. After all these years of our relationship i still feel like cuddling and kissing with her for hours.

Other girl: I never had a strong sexual desire for her but i was strongly infatuated for a time, today i care about her well-being and want her to be happy, i feel kind of sad she probably isnt happy with her boyfriend since she told me she loved me. strangely i am almost totally non-jealous about her relationship even if i still have feelings. she brings out a more tortured, deep mystic vibe out of me. When i think of her i have strong feelings of bittersweet nostalgia and addictive melancholy (failed love syndrome?) and i want to save her from herself (she had a bad youth which made her impulsive and hypersensible - messianic complex on my side?) i do not have as much in common with her as with my gf and we are not so compatible

I feel to a degree they each represent a side of me...but in these confusing moments after the love statement its hard for me to say which i should value more and in which way?

[Fuzzyfeeling]

You're basically faced of with a situation with an obvious choice yet you're bizzarly unsure ,Okay i'll represent it this way:
You're to chose one of 2 paths:
1)a path of hurdles ,problems ,life complications due to her exes and an unstable relationship with possibly no future.

2)you've got this path you worked really hard on ,you've still got the flame of love between the both of you ,which may even continue for a really long time with years to come and years to love and celebrate ,a relationship with a future.

It's really your choice ,but a pre-warning ,those are signs that you're considering cheating ,even if it was unintentional ,it still is ,and the fact that you considered weighting those 2 is quite disrespectful ,to your current gf that is.

I wish you the best of luck sir😉

[dollhouse]

I think the second was a rebound off the first and all the feelings for the first were tucked away but when she said I love you they re emerged because you never stopped inside your heart feelings strongly for her and what you missed out on but you told us your GF is a soulmate so if I was you I wouldn't follow up the other girl at all, devote yourself, attention and love to your actual GF, don't emotionally cheat on someone who you know actually loves you now and you said you love.

[Wakeup]

When she said she "loved you" can you tell us in what context she said it. I'm wondering if she meant that she loved you as a good friend rather then the way you've interpreted it.

If she didn't mean it as a good friend then she's one fvcked up princess who you need to go cold turkey withdrawl from and stop keeping her in your life when you have a perfectly good romantic girlfriend who you disrespect with your goings on with the other girl. The first girl should know better then to interfere in your relationship that way. She's far too self-absorbed to be a good match for you if she would forget that you are paired up and insinuate herself to you like that. Especially since she didn't want you romantically in the first place. Pffft.

If you stop talking to her the fleeting "infatuation" CERTAINLY NOT LOVE feelings will dissipate. You do yourself and your current girlfriend a dis-servicing by entertaining the twit.

[brunodude]

Wakeup, we were dancing in a club, first time after years, and she started to get really close with dancing and at one moment she put her arms over my shoulders and told me: "did i ever tell you i loved you?"...i managed to ignore it somehow, but due to the context and her being touchy feely beforehand i think it wasnt that friendly..... I thought that we managed to become more or less normal friends during these years although i did sense some jealousy towards my gf. I admit that i am feeling dubious but i am not actually weighing if i should stay with my gf or not. Although i did feel a slight doubt about everything, probably because the day she told me the L word she told me she was moving in with her boyfriend, so maybe i had a decide-now-once-and-for-all feeling, and this is why im looking for objective opinions here to help me clarify things.

How do i proceed with her? do i cut her out completely out of my life and immediately or can i be frank with her and tell her that i care for her but that i dont want anything more than friendship,and if she cant deal with that we better not see eachother?

I ofcourse dont want to cheat on my girlfriend, emotionally or otherwise, but i do feel an urge to stay in good terms with the other girl,because i think i genuinely care for her althought it isnt love....and i think it cant be infatuation anymore either right?

[basilandthyme]

You were at a club dancing. Could this have been the alcohol talking?

[Wakeup]

I suggest you just fade away from her and stop doing any initiating of contact. If you're going to keep her in your life (I wouldn't if I were you) then make sure you introduce her to your girlfriend and don't be having any alone time with her again.

If you want her in your life then your girlfriend should be included in all visits to her as well. Keep it real and don't do anything to jeopardize your girlfriends (I'll venture) solid trust of you.

Cheers.