Weird relation with this guy friend, now we're in a cold: what to think or do ?

[NineC233]

This guy and I met a year and a half a go, became friends and really clicked. He even courted me at first, was very sweet and caring, he'd compliment me, walk me to my bus stop each evening, was flirty and a bit touchy, but he never clearly mentionned he was interested, and he had a girlfriend. He dumped her 2 weeks after we had met, he told me, out of the blue (regarding his attitude towards me, I had no idea he had a gf and he never mentioned her). He kept being gentle for a little bit and I was seriously falling for him, then he suddenly changed.
He started to make real undelicate jokes about me, my family, my appearance, my origins, everything. He said it was just humour, but it felt aggressive towards me and i'm not one of his guy friends. 5 months after we had met I had to move to a different town. We had already become a bit more distant at this point, but still shared a nice connection (when he wasn't making too many hurtful jokes). I distanced myself cause his attitude was hurting me, and I had started to like him and felt like there was no hope. There were many unsaid things between us, at least on my side. But judging from his weird changes of attitudes, also on his maybe.

He asked for news a few weeks after I had left, but the correspondence died fast after I had replied. He was busy with very important exams I must say, but well. He called me once weeks after, but to ask for help for stg... and kept making bad jokes again, I was offended and felt used, we had a fight on Skype. I told him what i thought about his attitude, that i was tired of it, he seemed offended, he always blames me. We talked again a bit after that, again cause he needed help for stg and as I still truly liked him I accepted -(and he also asked for news but he could have before and without needing my help for stg) but I voluntarily distanced myself and stopped showing signs of affection when we'd talk, not always picking up the phone when he'd call... I was tired of being so hurt and mistreated. I could feel things were weird, awkward, disagreable in our interactions, the little sparkle was gone i guess. It's been 7 months and we haven't talked since then. He hasn't even asked for news, he hasn't apologized while a year ago we would talk everyday. He knows that I'm in a difficult period and very stressing period right now, he doesn't try to ask how I am or to offer me support, even if I did support him when he needed me enenthough his attitude didn't quite encourage me to do so and it was a bit painful for me. What do u think happenned , does it look like we're never gonna be in touch again? How can people/guys change so fast, have you ever experienced that and is there anything to do?

I miss talking to him (the nice him, not the douchebag), this situation hurts, I'm considering cutting it off for good, and deleting him from facebook. Then at least I can't look his profile up anymore and I know we're not gonna talk again, it's harsh, but maybe better than false hopes.But there's no going back after that, and I know he'll be very offended. He is proud. What would you do ?

[basilandthyme]

The thing which suddenly changed about him? I'll lay money that he got comfortable with you and his real sense of humour came out. The "nice" guy you refer to wasn't actually him - that was just him on his best behaviour.

There are quite a few people who put shit on those they love. Now, this is OK if you've got the same humour and sensibilities, but if you don't share the same humour, those same words can be offensive. My guess is that this is what happened to the two of you. Both of you need to find people who share your individual attitudes to friendship and love.

As for him not contacting you while you're having trouble....well you DID pull away from him because you don't like his behaviour. Now this is your right. But in turn, it's quite reasonable of him to not contact a person who has rejected him.

Unfriend him on FB if you want. If he hasn't contacted you in 7 months, he probably won't care that much anyway.

[Wakeup]

He kept being serious for a bit and I really started falling for him

My guess is that he picked up on that and he didn't want anything romantic with you even though he was being flirty. So, when he seen that you were "falling" for him, he started to make it more like a sister/playful and teasing brother type relationship not to lead you on? Who knows.????

Anyway, he's not making your life very happy nor does he enrich it in anyway so just don't respond to anymore of his contact. You don't even have to tell him why because you owe him nothing and he owes you even less.

Better fish out there to catch then keeping people who "bully" you in your life, Op. Throw this one back into the cess pond he crawled out of.

[milk&honey]

You don't need a guy like him. He was just playing and flirting around. Forget about him and move on.