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Thread: ABC situation with a twist

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    21

    ABC situation with a twist

    Hey all

    I've found this girl (B) who I really like, and she seems to like me (C) too. We haven't been on any dates yet, but we've been talking a lot lately and we'll be spending this weekend together so I have a good feeling about it, and I'm pretty certain that she likes me

    The thing is that a friend of mine (A) have had a crush on her for a long time, and they've been hanging out a lot, as friends though. And that's all she's ever been interested in with him and she's made that clear to him several times in the past. I didn't know that up until recently when a fourth friend of us all told me, so I hadn't been showing any interest in her because of friend A...

    A couple of weeks ago we ended up kissing at a party at which we were all present, and this really hurt A.
    The next Monday at work (we all work the same place), I noticed this, but didn't say anything to him. After a couple of days he seemed ok, because he apparently thought it was just that one evening and nothing more... But then he saw us leave work together (I was just giving her a lift actually) and after that he hasn't been talking to her. He doesn't want to show anything towards me though, but we don't talk like we used to.

    In my department which is all men, whenever someone hooks up with someone we always tease the person a LOT. All in good fun though . I don't have any problem with this since it's what we always do, but I know that my friend A is having a hard time with this, so he probably wouldn't be very comfortable being around when the others go at me...

    Do you guys have any ideas of what I should do about this? Should I talk to my boss, and explain the situation to him asking him to make sure people show a little consideration before going at me, or should I just let things happen and live with A being uncomfortable with it?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    2,510
    Leave your boss out of it.
    Have a man-to-man talk with person A and get this sorted out.
    If man A has never been with girl B, then he has no claim to her. I don't fault A for being hurt, but if you talk to him with respect, he should be able to get over it. Just let him know you're not disrepecting him, just trying to be happy.

    No matter how you look at it, this has to be resolved between A and C. Nobody else should be involved.
    "Oh Lord it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror, cause I get better loking each day. To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man. Oh Lord it's hard to be humble, but I'm doing the best that I can." Mac Davis

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    21
    I wasn't considering asking my boss to talk to A, just to make sure that people think twice before starting a round of teasing while A is there. It is usually our boss who starts it anyway (and that's part of why he's so well liked ).

    I'm not going to talk to A about this, but I still want to show some consideration since I think I have an idea how hard it is for him. I think talking to him about it will be up to B to do, since they were great friends before this happened. A and me were not *great* friends, but more like really good colleagues.
    I don't know if B is gonna talk to him any more about it, since she has already explained to him several times that she just wanted to be friends, and also did so after the party. When we talked about this she sad that he just had to accept that and she was getting tired of explaining it to him...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    162
    i agree with TAVS. leave you boss out of it. u need to talk to A saying something like we are not going out but we do like each other very much. then say something like i know how much u most feel for her and i understand, but if it does lead to somewhere then i will go there. not to disrespect u or anything like ha in your face. but more because we realy do care about each other. i know this may be wrong to say but i aint gonna just forget about her just because u have feelings towards u. its hard to like a girl that goes out with your best friend but she likes u only as a friend and i don't think she will ever like u any more am sorry

    ok ok the end did gte abit harsh but 1 its the truth and 2 i may of worded it wrong lol

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