+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Fighting the urge to not be clingy or needy

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    2

    Fighting the urge to not be clingy or needy

    Hello. I met an amazing girl a few months ago we've been separated for about a month. We had an amazing spark, hooked up really quick. Everything was amazing after about 2 months into it. We get into alittle argument, first one. Didn't end so well. My fault really for not handling it correctly. After that she told me that it's hard for her to forgive and she had kids grudges but she will let kit argument slide because in truth it wasn't a big deal. Second time around we both came home super drunk and had crazy sex, apparently the condom broke. After a week she was getting alittle emotional and panicky, which I inderstand she wasn't ready for another kid right now. After about.a week of dealing with her I told her that I didn't cum in her thinking that it ease her mind but then it back fired and she started thinking I was lying. In truth I didn't have any intentions of lying I only told her something else because I was worried about her feelings. Things spiraled down from there. She started acting distant with me and cold. She told me she wanted space to think about things which I gave it to her. After a few weeks we still talked back and forth she initiated more than me. One day she invited me over to her house. I went( by the way her little daughter and I had bonded really well during our relationship) and chilled out. I was playing with her daughter and I saw she had a serious look on her face so I took her daughter upstairs so we could talk. She started telling me that she sees her daughter bonding with me really well and she doesn't want to disappoint her if it doesn't work out with us because of how she's been feeling. She also mentioned that he real father who had barely any relationship with his daughter called her to talk to her and apparently told him that she didn't like him she liked me and didn't want to talk to him. I told her it wasn't my fault that her real dad had no relationship with her and then brings up the stupid lie I had told her and I told her that I had already apologized and if this is the reason she's acting up then it's like to fix it because I cared about her a lot. She didn't even look at me and with her back turned told me she didn't want to fix anything at the moment and I asked so you don't want anything to do with me because of two misunderstandings she still had her back turned and repeated the same thing this time saying that she didn't want anything to do with me at the moment. I got up quietly kissed her in the back of the neck hugged and kissed her daughter good bye and left. 20 minutes later driving back home she blew up my phone. I picked up and she was saying that she was sorry for acting like a bitch I don't want you to disappear. I didn't mean to say that I didn't want anything to do with you I just need some space to get my feelings straight. I replied I'll give you all the space you want its cool. Conversation over that night. I noticed she kept imitating by text how I was doing and she wanted me to take her out on Saturday so I did. We had a great time but she wasn't ready to kiss me so I played it cool. After that we had lunch together and when I dropped her off at work she gave me a nice kiss and that was that. Thursday came around and we went out at night this time she had her daughter so we couldn't do much so we ate, drank and had a few laughs and I dropped her off at home. I haven't seen her since that day we do talk every now and then but I still feel she's still alittle distant. Dunno if I should consider this but I do notice that on ig she doesn't like any of my pics but usually liking other people's pics I try not to let stupid things like this get to me but it creeps up on me because I still really like her. Either way yesterday we were supposed to go out at night but she didn't get back to me. After a few hours I called her up and her cousin answered telling me that she left her phone with her and she'll tell her to call me back. I was cool and left it at that. 10pm roles around and I send her a text saying you must be pretty busy in your end when things calm down call me so we could plan things together. She replied 30 minutes later saying that she's with her cousin and her girlfriends I responded it's cool no problem and left it at that. Today I initiated sending her a good morning text she didn't get back to me until the afternoon because I realized her phone was off. She texts me various times telling me that she got really sick and didn't go to work. So I replied with let me know if you need anything I'm a phone call away. After her thank you text I left it alone. Haven't texted her or called her this whole afternoon. Fighting the urge to not act needy or anything like that. I'm just having a hard time handling the rest right now. Should I text her to see how she's doing. I don't want to chase her but let her come to me. Some solid advice would be appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read my long story.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    7,055
    paragraphs would make this much easier to read
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    2
    After a few invites and even though her reasons were legitimate I sent her this text Hey Jessie I want to be honest with you. Opening up tinder and seeing your pic brought me back to how we met. I don't regret knowing you and enjoying my time with you. Glad I swiped right lol. Sad it had to end the way it did. I was pretty immature around the few arguments we had. To be honest, I didn't know how else to react, but now that I've had the time to think about it, I have to laugh at how dumb I was at times and making stupid choices that at the end didn't make sense. Oh well, that's life - you live and learn, right? Maybe one day we could give it another try. For now I'm sure we are both mature adults and could still talk and meet. I do wish I could have done things better but I didn't which is why I accept things how they are right now. I respect your space and you, I wish for nothing but the best for you and china.

    She responded with ok. Guess she doesn't care j don't know. I don't want to dwell on it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    9
    Yeah she's not bother dude, put it down to experience and move on!

    Plenty more fish in the sea and all that

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Latvia
    Posts
    5,054
    You been good to her but she was not interested. In the end its her loss. You are nice guy whos trying to do right thing. Hope you will find girl who don't lose interest in you quickly.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    6
    Yeah i agree paragraphs would have made it easier to read. My eyes got tired while reading your story. sigh! sorry.

Similar Threads

  1. Slow Process of Clingy/Needy Recovery Begins
    By sr2011 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 11-04-12, 09:34 PM
  2. do white women have a natural urge for black guys?
    By wifesharing in forum Ask a Female Forum
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 25-08-11, 11:25 AM
  3. The motherly urge...
    By girl68 in forum Ask a Female Forum
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 17-05-10, 07:46 PM
  4. being too needy and clingy...
    By trisha in forum Ask a Male Forum
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 08-06-09, 01:58 PM
  5. need to fight the urge
    By lastwish in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-04-08, 02:16 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •