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Thread: What the hell?? Help me understand I dont get it!!

  1. #1
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    What the hell?? Help me understand I dont get it!!

    Met a guy online and we dated for 2 months. He is a workaholic and it seemed like all he has time for was for me to come over and have sex. I told him that's not what I am looking for I want to spend time doing things with him. He said he was sorry but he can't keep his hands off me and he would make time. Nothing changed so I ditched him. That really hurt me because I felt very attracted to him. A month later he he text me and said he made a mistake and wants to try again. Same thing just sex! So I said it's happening again lol and he said he's sorry he would make time and we would have dinner and he wants to move at a slow pace. After that I heard from him less and my gut told me something was wrong. I asked him if he was seeing anyone or still looking and he said No I am not. So the next day I went online and even though his profile is hidden I can still see everything because I am a paid member. Bang! There he was...online! So I text him and said we need to talk and he said not for a couple of days he has family in town. So I text him back and told him I saw him online...why did he lie to me, How could he do that to me..I was so hurt and mad...he broke me. I felt so attracted and connected to him. 3 weeks later I have not heard a word from him! What did I do wrong?? He didn't even have enough respect to say sorry? And he didn't deny it! Did I do something wrong??? Do I say something to him now?? I am very hurt.
    Last edited by CindyP; 28-06-15 at 09:30 AM. Reason: Corrections

  2. #2
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    As the song goes "You can't always get what you want..."

    I know you really wanted a relationship, and he seemed to fit the bill, but actions spoke volumes. Your gut was screaming he's a douche, but your heart's desire for a relationship over road that. Next time listen to your gut...you saw it, don't ignore it.

    The only thing you did wrong was giving this guy another chance. There is no point in saying anything to him. He only wanted one thing ...sex. Guys will do and say anything to get sex. How to tell if he is genuine or not? By his actions. You should know this stuff....a guy that wants to spend time with you, wants to go out and do things with you and wants you to be a part of his life, even if it's just running errands or hanging out to have deep conversations, remembers things you said, then buying you a book you were talking about, or taking you somewhere for your favorite desert...that kind of thing is what you look for. If you are not seeing it, don't hope he will come around eventually.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    Guys will do and say anything to get sex.
    God, don't we?

    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    You should know this stuff....a guy that wants to spend time with you, wants to go out and do things with you and wants you to be a part of his life, even if it's just running errands or hanging out to have deep conversations, remembers things you said, then buying you a book you were talking about, or taking you somewhere for your favorite desert...that kind of thing is what you look for. If you are not seeing it, don't hope he will come around eventually.
    I don't know what you read smackie, but it sounds like Cindy knows this.

    Quote Originally Posted by CindyP View Post
    Why did he lie to me, How could he do that to me..I was so hurt and mad...he broke me. I felt so attracted and connected to him. 3 weeks later I have not heard a word from him! What did I do wrong?? He didn't even have enough respect to say sorry? And he didn't deny it! Did I do something wrong??? Do I say something to him now?? I am very hurt.
    From your post, it sounds like he's still in the 8th grade and all he wants is sex. He just wants the honey from the honeypot without having to mind the bees. And no, he probably doesn't respect you, because if he did, he'd make the effort to earn more brownie points.

    Say nothing and move on. You may have great chemistry with this guy, but he doesn't respect you or share any of the same ideals of what makes a great relationship.
    Laissez les bons temps rouler!

  4. #4
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    Yes she knows this but doesn't acknowledge it. Sometimes you just has to lay out the obvious to validate what they have been thinking all along. I believe he sensed her vulnerability and strong desire for a relationship he just used that to play her....again.

  5. #5
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    Same thing just sex
    Did he at least take you out to dinner before he fkd you the second time you believed his bullshit words that had no real actions that backed them up?

    Wear did he have this sex with you? At your place or his? Did he ever contact you by phone or was it always through the site or through text?

    If you don't want to be just a booty call then YOU have to NOT be just a booty call.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  6. #6
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    No dinner...and was always at his place. He would call me.

  7. #7
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    Next time wait to have sex until they at least take you OUT to do something fun. It needn't be anything expensive but just something that will facilitate you talking to one another and doing some real life getting to know one another.

    Online chats and texts are NO way to get to KNOW someone or allow them to bond with you in real time.

    Hint for future: When a guy shows you who he is when he's suppose to be on his best behaviour trying to impress you and he does NOTHING to impress you but bed you.... well you can pretty much safely assume that he won't be showing you he values you for anything other then more bed time.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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