This is my first time on this forum. I'm glad I found it as I could really do with some advice.

I'm currently in the best relationship of my life with this girl who's becoming the best thing in my life, altough it's not as straight forward as I thought it would be.

I first meet her at a gig that I was doing with my band. She was best friends with a couple of people that I knew. I got a phone call the next day from one of these people saying that she wanted me to have her number and that she turned someone down the night before because she was waiting for my call. So I phoned her up and asked if she would go for a drink, she said yes and I got myself a date.

The first date was one of the best nights of my life. We had some drinks, we laughed alot, she had alot of funny things to say and I was keen to listen. She's so beautiful and not like anyone I've ever meet. At the end of the night I walked her to the bus stop and that's where we kissed for the first time. I never felt so alive.

I saw her again a couple of days later and it was just as great as it was that first time. I still felt so alive. However, came the most agonising wait of my life. She went on holiday and by the time she got back, I was on my holiday. It was very painful indeed. 37 days past ( I was counting) and then I saw her again, but something had changed.

I could tell straight away that something was different by the time I saw her again. The sparkle was still there but not as bright as it was. Where she was keen on holding hands before, she wasn't so keen anymore. We would hug as we greeted each other and hugged as we left but that was all the contact made, which left me confused.

I also got the feeling that she wasn't so keen on getting together anymore. The next time I wanted to see her, she said she couldn't because she was going to her best friends birthday party which I thought was fair enough. But I went down the pubs and saw she was there with her friends and not at a party. I wasn't so much upset of that, I was just upset because I thought there was no reason why I couldn't have been with her.

She was keen on meeting up a few days later though which made me really happy. We had a laugh and talked but again the lack on contact left me bewildered. Was this the same girl I falled for?

The next time I saw her, she wasn't in the best of moods. She said she was heading to a party and again, I would hoped she would want me to be there as well. I was felt like I was being pushed away. I was having my heart broken and I couldn't understand why.

Then one night, around midnight, I got a phone call from her. She was very crying and was very drunk, I couldn't understand what she was trying to say. It turned out that her best friends twin brother had commited suicide that morning. She was in a terrible state and it really made me upset as well, I didn't want to see her cry. I told her that I was here if she ever wanted to talk, being that she was suppose to be my girlfriend, altough it seemed like we were growing further and further apart. I decided to leave her alone and give her some breathing space.

I saw her again for the first time in a week and half today. She seemed a lot better, a lot happier. We talked for hours on all kind of subjects, even on the subject of recent events which I thought she was trying to avoid. But she seemed to talk more about the nights she had out recently with her friends. I live in the high street and I'm surrounded by virtually all the pubs. Not one time did she consider phoning me up asking if I would like to go out.

Infact she said she was having a girl's night out tonight down the pubs and clubs. This left me so confused, more then ever. But it also left me scared. I still can't get the feelings I had for her when we first meet out of my mind. I was scared that she would be down the club kissing another man, when she made me feel that I was the one for her.

I spoke to my friend who went out with her for a short peroid. He said that she told him that she was scared of commitment and she wanted fun with her friends then to be in relationships. I'm begining to think this might be the case, but if it is, why did she make me feel like I do?

I can't get her out of my head, I just want to see her night and day. I don't mind that she would want to see her friends, but I just want to spend more time with her, alone or not.

I have come to the conclusion that the only way to get my head around this is to spill my heart to her, but I'm terrified what the conserquences might be, but at less I'd know for sure. I don't want to lose her, but it takes 2 to Tango and I can't live in denial my whole life.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?