What should I do?

[Jlondinium]

Hey, first post on here. Quite a long post, thank you in advance if ou read through it all. I find myself in a pretty confusing situation. I have been dating a girl for the past 3 months, things had seemed to go really nicely. We were getting along great whenever we met up for dates.

However, things started to get a little weird about 2 weeks ago, I noticed she was ignoring some of my texts (we both have busy lives so we don't always reply straight away). This became more ignored texts, eventually I asked if something was up and her response was that she doesn't feel ready to commit to anything and she would rather not put pressure on the situation. I understood and told her so.

Ended up meeting up later that week (8 days ago) for dinner and to a couple bars. She told me she had resigned from work at the beginning of the week and is now both working 50+ hours a week and looking for a new job, and is trying to focus on her career right now. During that night she did keep listing things that we could go and do together in the future, which to me seems like she does have an interest in me still? I took her home, we kissed, I received a good morning text the day after. And has since ignored everything, sent more texts than I'd like to but roughly one each couple of days. I messaged 4 days ago asking if she would maybe be free over the weekend, no reply. I sent one final text the next day saying that I am not trying to pressure her into anything and I understand her situation. That I have enjoyed her company and feel like she had enjoyed mine. Ended the text saying I would give her some space for a while.

I'm very disappointed with this, and don't want to go and do anything crazy, so I don't really know what to do? Is there a length of time I should wait before contacting again, or do I leave it entirely up to her? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Nicolelong]

Don't contact her again. I think you've done everything right by letting her know you understand and want to give her space. The ball is in her court to respond now.

I have to say though, as busy and frazzled as she is now, ignoring you is inconsiderate, especially when you are being so supportive. She can't expect you to wait around forever for her to make up her mind about things.

If I were you, I'd keep my options open and not wait too long for her to figure it out. You sound like a real gentleman and I'm sure there are plenty of women that would love to date you

[Jlondinium]

Thank you very much. My options are open like you mentioned and I'll just leave her to do her thing for now. It is definitely rude to have not replied to anything I've said, especially since we know each quite well by now and have gotten along well together.

[starbar]

I think she is trying to let you down gently but neing v confusing in her approach and sending mixed messages. Don't waste anymore time. She is being unfair to you and it is wrong of her to mess with your feelings like this. If it were me, I would move on.

[Jlondinium]

She has since contacted me via text saying again about her work situation at the moment, that she is not trying to push me away and that we will meet when there is time. She also called me before work the day after that for a quick chat. I'm going to just remain cautiously optimistic by keeping distance for a while and not push her for now. Hopefully she is not completely wasting my time but is being genuine. Is this the best plan of action here?

[Wakeup]

If you're going to continue pursuing this then it looks like you're going to have to let her lead. I'd leave her with a "call/text me when you're free" and then get on with dating others while you wait for her to be ready to date.

I've found that when I met the man that I wanted to be with, I always had time to get to know him better.

What good is waiting for someone who has no time to date?
How long does one wait for someone that has no time to date?
Does someone who has no time to date ever actually bond with the person who waits for her to have time?

So many questions, so few answers!

One other thing: Is someone who doesn't have time to date sooooooo busy that they can't even return a text or answer an invite to do something when they are not soooooo busy? Don't forget her lack of manners while you're letting her do her thing, jlondinium.