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Thread: 6 Year Age Gap, calling all love gurus! 😜

  1. #1
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    6 Year Age Gap, calling all love gurus! 😜

    Hello everyone,

    I found this forum, by googling my issues. I did not know how to cope with this, and didn't have anyone I could really talk to about it. I've spoken to some close friends, who have simply said to "get over it" or "it will pass." Im hoping to get advice from a wider range of people, hence this post. First off, as a 16 year old I should be in the teen forum, but under these circumstances, I thought it would be alright to post here.

    So, I'm a 16 year old teen girl, with a crush on a 21 or 22 year old adult. He is a student instructor in my martial arts class. We are both in dynamic, very different stages in our lives. With my age, it is illegal to pursue anything, and I don't even know if he has a girlfriend. I have come to the conclusion, that it would be best for me to "get over him" like many have suggested.

    I would like to ask you all for some suggestions, on how to get over him, act around him, and stop obsessing over him. It would also be great if the cons of this situation could be listed, and how we could "never" work.

    A little info about me: In the past, whenever I've had crushes, what helped me was confessing, and being rejected. I could then move on. In this case, Im pretty sure it would be inapropriate to express myself (by confessing).

    I wish to talk to some teachers in my class about this issue, but I have opted not to, as I feel it would make things awkward.

  2. #2
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    First, did you ask your parents/guardians for an opinion? Because you should do this before anything else.

    Then tell him you have a crush on him, but that you don't know how a relationship would work with the age gap.

    If he's smart, he will give you one of the usual rejection phrases, but could also include "Come back in two years" or "I don't want to go to jail".
    Laissez les bons temps rouler!

  3. #3
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    There's nothing wrong with dating are your age, but you'll be under the control of your parents until you're of legal age. You can take is slow, see how it goes and could end up in a great relationship.

    However, I'd argue very casual dating and no serious relationships until you've had a number of dates behind you so you can judge what kind of man will work for you.

    My first GF was 14 and I was 18. A bit awkward but we dated for several years, but very limited with strict boundaries. (but I still wish I had gotten her in bed.....she was hot).
    Chock

  4. #4
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    What state are you from?

    First check here if 16 is really illegal where you live.

    [url=http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm]LEGAL AGE OF CONSENTÂ* (ageofconsent.com)Â*Â*Â*Â*Â* Age du consentement à l’acte sexuel[/url]
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  5. #5
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    Its just infatuation. You don't really know this person, only what you have romanticized in your own head. You sound like a mature, smart young lady. Guys your own age are prob too immature for you but its best not to date older guys at your age who could be in a hurry to do things you are not ready for. It is better to be with someone who understands and willing to go at your pace.

  6. #6
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    I wouldn't go as far to say it would "never" work out, because in a short couple of years (and they will go by QUICK) you will be 18 and free to do as you will.

    I think at this point it would be very wise to not discuss this with the other teachers, particularly as where you are, it's illegal. Not to mention awkward for both of you if you confess to his coworkers.

    Keep him as fantasy only, and if it's meant to be, you will come together in the future.

    You might like this story- When I was a teenager, I had a major crush on the local news reporter. I would watch his broadcasts just to drool over him. He was a full decade older than me. I met him at my high school graduation when he was doing a segment on local grads, and introduced myself. He was polite but totally blew me off. A couple of years later I ran into him at a local concert and we started talking. He recognized me from my grad and laughed and said that he would have talked to me longer but didn't want a "jailbait" situation. We ended up dating for a couple of months. Turned out he was nothing like my fantasies told me he would be! LOL Who woulda thunk it? So, yeah, you never know what the future might bring to you

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