What is it you don't like?

[tampitump]

I'm just wondering what it is about me you women don't like? None of you have ever given me the time of day, a fact which I thought would change after high school, but has only gotten worse if anything. Here I am at 24, still never even been on a date, and still a virgin, barely even spoken to a girl outside of technical things concerning work or school. I'm NOT here asking for advice on how to get a girlfriend. I've given up on that. I just want to know, what part of me was so terrible or so disgusting that you women just couldn't fathom the mere thought of even getting near me? What was it about me that made you roll your eyes when I entered a room? What was it that made you laugh with pity when you found out I had a crush on you?- "Poor little ugly piece of shit. Well, I guess little nothings like him have feelings and crushes too." Well you got what you wanted. I'll never bother any of you again. As a matter of fact, by this point a relationship would be wrong for me. I've never even done the second grade stuff, much less the adult stuff. It would be too much for me to grasp or comprehend. I'm happy I could oblige with your satisfaction ladies!

[basilandthyme]

Sorry you're in this situation Tampitump. But you're not giving us much to go on.

Do you have any male friends? What do they say about it? Are you open to any changes they may suggest?

[starbar]

Are you shy? lacking confidence? too quiet to start a conversation? maybe you should join a hobby where you will meet people you have something in common with. start out as just friends, no pressure and then after a few weeks ask her out.. have you ever actually asked someone out or tried to get to know them? lacking confidence is prob the mumber one reason guys dont get dates.

- - - Updated - - -

and if your worried about looks, plenty of average or below average looking people get dates or have a partner.. looks are not everything

[tampitump]

Like I said, I'm not here for love advice. I've completely closed the door on any chances of having a relationship or even sex. I want absolutely NO involvement with anyone. I'm just here to vent and ask why. I always thought I was a reasonably decent looking, honest, fun-loving guy. But girls have always looked past me. I've never even been able to strike up conversations with them. I thought maybe my high school was a reason for it since it was the typical "small town" scenario. But when I got out of high school and went out into the world, I found it not to be thee reason. I found that all girls/women of all shapes, sizes, colors, backgrounds, etc. just genuinely did not like me. I spent the several years since high school to now trying to take people's advice, re-evaluate myself and try to ultimately become a guy that women want to be with. But all I've found is that there is nothing I can do. Women know what they want, and they unanimously do not want me. I'm not upset by this anymore, and have made peace with it. The need to know the reason why still picks at me though. I guess there are just some people who have no matches and no hope.

I've been to social gatherings where I went with every intention of bringing my A-game. I went looking good, I went with confidence and a good disposition (but not overly-confident). I tried to be be sociable, fun, and most of all, myself. But it always fascinated me that I could try all night make meaningful conversation with a girl and her be utterly uninterested, or more often annoyed and disgusted by talking to me. And another guy could merely step into the room and the girls would just MELT over him.

I guess I'm just a terminal piece of god damn ****ing shit who is not even fit to look at. Maybe I should just lock my self in a ****ing cabin in the woods and never return to society again. Would that make you women happy? And before you go pointing to this last paragraph here as evidence as to why I've never had a woman, let me just tell you that this is not how I started. I was a good, normal, easy-going guy. I was made to be this way.

[basilandthyme]

Vent away if that's what you want, but we can't tell you why without more information. This is why I asked about your mates. Do you have any and can they give a reason?

[tampitump]

Vent away if that's what you want, but we can't tell you why without more information. This is why I asked about your mates. Do you have any and can they give a reason?

If you actually read my posts you'd know that I've never had a "mate". That's the whole premise of my post.

[basilandthyme]

If you actually read my posts you'd know that I've never had a "mate". That's the whole premise of my post.

Why so rude? You've written nothing about male friends - or lack thereof.

[tampitump]

Why so rude? You've written nothing about male friends - or lack thereof.

Sorry, I'm just bitter. I didn't intend to be rude. I misunderstood what you meant by the word "mate". Here in the US we don't tend to use that word very much. My male friends have all dated extensively and most, if not all by this point are married or have been married. Getting women seems to be very simple and trivial to them. To me it's like taking a calculus class. I get to class on the first day and know from the first 10 minutes I'll never pass so I just quit and go home. Women all know what they want and I'm not it. I don't know what to change about myself, and quite honestly don't want to change myself. I may have bent the truth slightly about my appearance. I'm just not very attractive. I'm weak and skinny/lanky, my hair is always horrible no matter how it's cut. I have a deformity of the chest which makes it sink in like a bowl. I have no definition or muscle, and honestly don't have the body type to build muscle even if I tried. I've just never been all that appealing to women I guess. I don't blame them. Biologically speaking, the women are deserving of the strongest, most attractive mates. I guess that makes me a dud. It would be nice to be one of the men that women melt over, but honestly I think that would get old too. I'm just venting. I have no intentions to turn my "love life" or lack thereof around.

[Nicolelong]

I don't believe you when you say you have made peace with this, or you wouldn't be posting this here.

We can't really help you without much information. All I can tell you from what you've said here is that you are projecting a lot of anger and bitterness out there. I'm not saying that your feelings are not justified, because it sounds at least in part like they are. When you have that underlying energy of hopelessness, resentment, and desperation, it shows and women will pick up on that.

Everyone gets rejected from time to time, and we all feel like we struggle to fit in at times. I'm really sorry that you are feeling this way, and I hope that over time you can soften your heart, take a more forgiving approach to yourself, and open yourself up to meeting new people with a more positive attitude. You are so cruel to yourself and it actually pained me to read some of the comments you make about yourself. You don't deserve to suffer with such self hatred.

I say this with the kindest intentions- please consider talking to someone. A therapist, a life coach, a mentor. I hope that you can learn to love yourself so that others can love you too. Please don't do anything you're going to regret.

[tampitump]

I won't regret never dating. And I'm not "at peace" with the fact that I'll never find a girl. I've decided that if it's not me the girls want, then it's not me the girls will get. I've been publicly ridiculed for having crushes, both by other people and the crush herself. This has happened more than once. It's like when I like someone, their like "Oh you poor little thing. It's s cute that you like me." I guess I'm not supposed to like someone. I'm just me, I'm not a real man who women see as a potential boyfriend or date. It's almost like being the kid on the playground who can't play basketball and everyone rolls their eyes when he comes around to get in on the pickup game. I've decided to never have any involvement with anyone. Because when you've wanted something for so long and have always been told you can't have it, you're not good enough to have it, and are ridiculed just for wanting it, you just kind of stop wanting after a while. And the thought of someone offering it to you just seems like an insult at that point.

[Nicolelong]

You clearly have a lot of pain inside you. I just hope that you will realize that if friends and a partner are important to you, then don't give up on that!!! You have not met everyone in the world, have you? We all get what we settle for. If you decide to give up on life and go hide, then it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

Get into a new hobby or club. Expand your social circle. Volunteer somewhere. Build up your self image and recognize that you are a worthy person that has just had the misfortune of being around people that don't appreciate it. Do you know how many famous and powerful people are out there that say that they were "losers", couldn't get a girlfriend, etc? You just never know what and who life will bring you.

Don't give up

[Wakeup]

I'm just wondering what it is about me you women don't like? None of you have ever given me the time of day, a fact which I thought would change after high school, but has only gotten worse if anything. Here I am at 24, still never even been on a date, and still a virgin, barely even spoken to a girl outside of technical things concerning work or school. I'm NOT here asking for advice on how to get a girlfriend. I've given up on that. I just want to know, what part of me was so terrible or so disgusting that you women just couldn't fathom the mere thought of even getting near me? What was it about me that made you roll your eyes when I entered a room? What was it that made you laugh with pity when you found out I had a crush on you?- "Poor little ugly piece of shit. Well, I guess little nothings like him have feelings and crushes too." Well you got what you wanted. I'll never bother any of you again. As a matter of fact, by this point a relationship would be wrong for me. I've never even done the second grade stuff, much less the adult stuff. It would be too much for me to grasp or comprehend. I'm happy I could oblige with your satisfaction ladies!

You are a fine candidate for a mail order bride. Get your catalogue through google.

[tampitump]

I've never met every person in the world, but I have had a large sample size by which to judge by. It's highly unlikely by this point that there are people who exist out there who would be attracted to me. Furthermore, if becoming famous or rich is the ticket to it, then it's not worth having. That in itself would make it a false sense of pride/happiness.

I'm sorry, but I just don't agree with anything you have said. I believe that my true place in this world is to be single and unliked, unwanted.

[tampitump]

You are a fine candidate for a mail order bride. Get your catalogue through google.

No, I don't think even they would be with me.

[Wakeup]

No, I don't think even they would be with me.

Oh... you are wrong my friend. As long as you have a steady income and can support her, she will love-you-long-time.