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Thread: How to go from here

  1. #1
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    How to go from here

    So I went on a few dates with this girl I met online. First date we even went salsa dancing on a spur of the moment thing and had a great time. Anyway after four dates and making out a few times. She stopped responding to a text I sent. I understand that the relationship was over, but I really did like hanging out with her. Would it be weird/wrong to invite her out dancing with a group of people just as friends? We didn't sleep together so it's really not that awkward for me.

    Thanks again I am new to the dating game after a long time as well. So excuse the ignorance lol.

  2. #2
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    Well.... Wrong? No, not really wrong. A few qualifying questions, though. Do you know why it ended? Did she give you any explanation, even if it just seemed like a fluff kind of explanation (it's not you, it's me)? You mention that she stopped responding to A text. Have you tried following up after that? Just because she does not respond to one text message, it doesn't necessarily mean she is no longer interested. Have you tried following up with her later and gotten just more disinterest?

    Now, back to your question. No, I wouldn't necessarily say it would be WRONG, per se, to ask her out as a friend to join you and a group of friends. However, my question would be why bother? Why bother keeping her around as a friend? You two were dating, but that didn't work out. Probably just better to leave her in your past. It would maybe be different if she had been your friend for a long time and you transitioned into dating but that didn't work out. I could understand not wanting to lose a friend you've had a while.

    In this case, though, this is somebody you only really know through going on, in your words, a few dates. Why bother keeping her around as a friend? I mean, is it at all because you hope that maybe she'll reconsider and want to give you another shot? If that is the case, then I'd DEFINITELY not suggest trying to keep her around as a friend. It would really be best just to move on and forget her.

    Either way, though, in this particular scenario I think it is best just to forget her. Still, I guess there is nothing necessarily inherently wrong about it, so if it makes you happy then give it a shot. I may personally think it better you just not bother, but maybe you'd rather have her as a friend rather than nothing at all. Just be aware that she may not be open to the idea, or even may want to avoid the situation because she may think you are just asking because you are hoping she'll change her mind.

  3. #3
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    I understand what you are saying and I agree. I am actually new to the area that I am living in now and worst case I can expand my social circle. Will I try to get with her again...probably not. But maybe she has friends that I might get along with in the long run. Maybe you are right it is best to forget about her.

    Now back to your point she has been responding to my texts after like 12 hour spans. For last one month she was responding within an hour or less. I asked her out in person last date and she gave me a wishy washy excuse. This is over a few texts as well, so I get the hint.

  4. #4
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    I get what you mean about the whole "networking" idea. Still, even then I kinda think best to just forget her and move on. I get your point of thinking what if she might happen to have a friend with whom you may hit it off? Still, I kinda think it could be a little weird to be dating a friend of somebody you used to date. That is the sort of situation that is probably best to avoid, so honestly it is probably best not to keep her around in any capacity anyway.

    But, like I said, that is really your decision. If you see value in having her in your social circle even if just as a friend, then I don't necessarily see anything WRONG with it, exactly.

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