I just lost my virginty and I don't even know if he likes me?

[Rosielar]

He texted me late again wanting me to come over, he was really desperate. I agreed to and he took my virginty, I was ready. I had to leave in the morning because a family member was "coming over" this is the first time he "kicks" me out like that because usually we have breakfast. I was very confused on my way home, it felt like a one night stand and I like this guy. I don't see why he would put up for three months if he were about to use me? He said that he had been waiting for this. I have almost every right to think that he likes me, we've done the typical dating stuff, dinner, movies, walks, coffee, I've met his friends and siblings. We've been getting more personal but thing about me is that I'm scared of that so I pull away and haven't shown much interest. He was upset that hear from me so I reached out for him more. Well not so long ago I met up with him (before I sleep with him) and his hands were shaking. It was casual, he made me dinner, talked then fell asleep.
Just before I came over after not seeing him for two weeks he openly posted a love quote on his Facebook for all of his friends and family to see that goes along with him being in love. Now I don't know if it was about me or someone else? I know that he is talking to other girls especially this one girl but I'm okay with that since I do it too and he's not my boyfriend. Obviously he is in love and he would be a jerk if it was someone else then he slept with me? This probably sounds messy and it is, I'm so confused. I'm getting mixed signals here, not so long ago he was talking about how he wants to see me more and now we barley talk also he took my freaking virginty now.. I would really appreciate someone's advice, any clues?

[basilandthyme]

He "took your virginity"? We're not in the 1950's woman! You and he had sex - it was your first time - and by the sounds of it, it was consensual. I hope you used contraception.

Don't go blaming him or playing the victim here. You chose to have sex with him without having defined the relationship. You know that you're both toying with others. If this whole virginity thing was as important to you as you make out, you would have made different choices.

Now, you can't undo what is done. The only option you have is to take responsibility for your decision to have sex. If you don't want to find yourself feeling used again, TALK with him and confirm your relationship status. And if you can't have a relationship without being scared and pulling away, then don't have a relationship till you are ready.

[Rosielar]

Ahh I just didn't expect to feel this way afterwards, yes I know that I let him but it feels like a big deal now. What makes you think that we are toying with each other? Just curious.

[Wakeup]

He didn't "take" your virginity ~ You gave it to him willingly. Not only that, you gave it to him when he hadn't even committed to you... nor did you even bother to ask him if who he was talking about on facebook was about you.

Don't worry about your virginity now that it's gone, you didn't worry about who you were giving it to so chalk it up to experience and get on with your life. If this guy wants you to be his lifelong mate then you'll know it by how he treats you... you'll also know if he doesn't want you by how he treats you too. You don't need us to tell you... he'll be telling you clearly with his actions or lack of them.

[basilandthyme]

What makes you think that we are toying with each other? Just curious.

This: >> I know that he is talking to other girls especially this one girl but I'm okay with that since I do it too and he's not my boyfriend. <<

[Nicolelong]

You've gone about this completely backwards. You like this guy, and you attempted to push the relationship to the next level by having sex with him. Unfortunately, this is not how it works more often than not. You were not close enough to him to even know his true relationship status or what his intentions with you are. Instead of communicating, getting to know each other, and allowing his actions to prove himself, you used sex to bring him in.

Now you have had this experience that makes you feel bonded with him, but you still have no idea where you stand or what he's doing. You have lost your power in this situation. I'm sorry, but if he slept with you while you are not exclusive, that in itself does not make him a jerk. The next time you want to start sleeping with someone you have feelings for, do your homework first. It will save you a lot of confusion and potential heartbreak. A lot of young guys lose interest once they have had sex with you if they were not intending on a relationship.

This doesn't necessarily mean that he does not like you, it just means that you are now in the position feeling used and desperate for his validation because you gave him your virginity, and you are clueless about his thoughts. You need to communicate with him, with your words and not your body, that you would like to start seeing him more and you like him as more than just a hook up.

If this doesn't work out, please try to use this as a learning experience to be more careful about who you share your body with in the future

[pcmaster]

Thanks [MENTION=80714]Nicolelong[/MENTION] for explaining this stuff. Now I see how girls think and feel and basically your posts explains basics about sex and relationship at early stage.