all men cheat according to my b/f!

**shh!** · 20-09-05, 08:40 AM

I thought I did, but I will be more explicit. When marrying her, he is making an implied promise to be monogamous, at least in western culture, where there is an expectation of monogamy. That is why you can sue for divorce in some states on the grounds of a spouse being unfaithful. If he plans to NOT be monogamous, then he simply needs to let her know that before they marry.

And I don't see how that is the same a women being friends with men. Unless by "friends", you really mean "lovers".

**NeoSeminole** · 20-09-05, 08:58 AM

some religions believe it is acceptable for a man to have multiple wives. Marriage is a construct of religion. You shouldn't use cultural expectations in your arguments. I agree that when you marry, you are making a promise to be faithful among other things but many women hardly keep their bargain of the contract. I know a lot of relationships that turned nasty b/c the wife didn't put out. The guy is trapped b/c if he stays with her, he doesn't get any sex and if he leaves, he risks losing half of his money and the kids. In this case, I think it is okay for the man to cheat.

**TAVS** · 20-09-05, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by NeoSeminole

some religions believe it is acceptable for a man to have multiple wives. Marriage is a construct of religion. You shouldn't use cultural expectations in your arguments. I agree that when you marry, you are making a promise to be faithful among other things but many women hardly keep their bargain of the contract. I know a lot of relationships that turned nasty b/c the wife didn't put out. The guy is trapped b/c if he stays with her, he doesn't get any sex and if he leaves, he risks losing half of his money and the kids. In this case, I think it is okay for the man to cheat.

Well why doesnt the man just talk to his wife about the problem and explain the possible consequences first??

**whaywardj** · 20-09-05, 09:02 AM

That would be too reasonable, TAVS. Takes all the passion out of it.

**shh!** · 20-09-05, 09:45 AM

Originally Posted by NeoSeminole

some religions believe it is acceptable for a man to have multiple wives. Marriage is a construct of religion. You shouldn't use cultural expectations in your arguments. I agree that when you marry, you are making a promise to be faithful among other things but many women hardly keep their bargain of the contract. I know a lot of relationships that turned nasty b/c the wife didn't put out. The guy is trapped b/c if he stays with her, he doesn't get any sex and if he leaves, he risks losing half of his money and the kids. In this case, I think it is okay for the man to cheat.

I know more married women who complain about lack of sex in my age range than men, but I guess if absolutely no sex is happening, I can understand cheating.

**misombra** · 20-09-05, 09:48 AM

if no sex is happening it's time for divorcing.

**shh!** · 20-09-05, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by misombra

if no sex is happening it's time for divorcing.

Ah, yes. An option I hadn't considered.

**Lloyd95** · 20-09-05, 09:55 AM

I skimmed thu this thread, but don't women get some of the blame? I mean, men cheat WITH women.....

Also, I don't know what religion has to do with this. For example, polygamy= not cheating. I think this is more a moral issue.

**NeoSeminole** · 20-09-05, 09:58 AM

I will quote myself:

"I agree that when you marry, you are making a promise to be faithful among other things but many women hardly keep their bargain of the contract. I know a lot of relationships that turned nasty b/c the wife didn't put out. The guy is trapped b/c if he stays with her, he doesn't get any sex and if he leaves, he risks losing half of his money and the kids. In this case, I think it is okay for the man to cheat."

A woman who does not take care of her husband's needs and expects him to be faithful deserves to be cheated on. Divorce is not as simple as you make it seem. Oftentimes, it's a long process than is physically, emotinally, and financially exhausting for both partners.

**Lloyd95** · 20-09-05, 10:02 AM

Originally Posted by NeoSeminole

I will quote myself:

"I agree that when you marry, you are making a promise to be faithful among other things but many women hardly keep their bargain of the contract. I know a lot of relationships that turned nasty b/c the wife didn't put out. The guy is trapped b/c if he stays with her, he doesn't get any sex and if he leaves, he risks losing half of his money and the kids. In this case, I think it is okay for the man to cheat."

A woman who does not take care of her husband's needs and expects him to be faithful deserves to be cheated on.

Yes. And she should cook and clean the house; and not speak unless spoken to!

I'm guessing you don't have a girlfriend. Safe guess? You were born in the wrong century, on the wrong continent.

**shh!** · 20-09-05, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by NeoSeminole

if he stays with her, he doesn't get any sex and [U]if he leaves, he risks losing half of his money and the kids...(blah, blah)...
Divorce is not as simple as you make it seem. Oftentimes, it's a long process than is physically, emotinally, and financially exhausting for both partners.

If they live in a community property state, then it is not HIS money she is taking, it is hers. They are merely dissolving a partnership. Haven't we had this argument before?

You are right about divorce, but living with a philandering husband often has the same effects.

**shh!** · 20-09-05, 10:06 AM

Originally Posted by Lloyd95

You were born in the wrong century, on the wrong continent.

Darling! You sound so impressively progressive and fully evolved today!

**NeoSeminole** · 20-09-05, 10:07 AM

I never said the husband is free of any duties. If he doesn't put out, she is allowed to cheat. However, I don't know too many guys who wouldn't jump at the opportunity to have sex with their wives/gf's. My comment takes into consideration that both parties are doing everything right except when it comes to sex.

**NeoSeminole** · 20-09-05, 10:43 AM

ssh says:

"If they live in a community property state, then it is not HIS money she is taking, it is hers. They are merely dissolving a partnership. Haven't we had this argument before?"

In the majority of marriages, the husband earns more than the wife. It should come as no surprise that the husband is taking a bigger risk than the wife by divorcing. Of course, you will say it is "merely dissolving a partnership." I have even heard of cases where the ex-wife gave false testimonial in order to screw the guy over for more money and custody of the kids. I guess you don't really know what it feels like until you are on the receiving end. Let's see... sex + marriage or no sex + divorce. Hmm, that's a really tough decision.

**whaywardj** · 20-09-05, 10:56 AM

Oh, yeah, Shh! Community property is nothing more than forced re-distribution of wealth by State mandate.

Ah, America. Ain't she wunnerful? "You make it. We take it."

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