how to get him back?!?

[valxoxo]

a month ago I went to a party with a bad friend. she was sober while I was wasted. she brought coke to the party and while I said no she kept pressuring me to do it and finally I caved. it was posted on snapchat and my boyfriend found out through his friend that night. he called me screaming and yelled "I'm done" I went to his house the next day and I asked him if we were over and he shrugged and said to give him a few days. after two weeks of stringing me along, thinking we had hope, he came to my house and said he was done only because I did that and because "people don't change" throughout our relationship he hasn't been a saint ( we've been dating for almost 3 years) he had a girl friend that he texted more than he texted me and then lied to me about her, had friends that didn't like me so he isolated himself from them and finally the last time he lied to me about this girl I made him an ultimatum and he isolated himself from her too. and now he's hanging out with all of them again! and now he's around people that hate me so it's more negative energy. every Time he begged me to come back I did. this is the first time I made a mistake. he blew this out of proportion because he's very against drug and alcohol and yes it's a big deal but we can work it out we're in love and it's a 3 year relationship. he gave me a promise ring, we have our lives planned for eachother. we're almost 21, and if we talked about marriage (yes maybe too serious) but that's when you know it's real. so my friend met him in person and he said he misses texting me and he's really mad about it and that "as of right now" he doesn't want a relationship with me. but then he texted my other friend that he was "falling out of love with me anyway and he thought I wasn't going to tell him" which my friend even told him you can't fake love and we all saw he was love struck with me even the day before the party, and I suck at lying and I'm such an honest person. I made a day to talk to him and then the day of, he never answered. my friend thinks it's because he realized he's not ready to have our "last" conversation and I'm not playing his game anymore. so I need to know how to get rid of all the negative thoughts in his head. it's already been a month. however long it takes him to get over this, I'll deal with it but I don't know how to make him realize the relationship we had because he's in shock and denial. after he can get over it, I don't know if the feelings he had for me will still linger inside of him. my friends all think that he can get over it eventually and realize what he had and how much he'll miss me. they can't comprehend it either. they saw how perfect we were. it would be incredulous if he let this go because of his irrationality. how do I get him back. I've given him his space, besides my friends getting in touch with him, and it's been a month. I don't know what to do and I can't let the love of my life get away. I need advice on what to do. I've done all that I could by giving him space. I need to know how to have him remember the relationship we had and the positive attributes about me. please help!!!

[Nicolelong]

I don't think you're looking at your relationship realistically. You say you were "perfect" together, yet you had all these issues coming up, and issues with his friends, and problems with other girls, and lying, and drama, and breaking up/making up, differences of opinion with alcohol/drug use, etc....

I don't think that the cocaine thing was the number one issue- it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Shame on your "friends" for posting that to snap chat too, I mean really?

It seems like there's been a lot of conflict between you both. I would be willing to bet that he is on the side of not taking you back, being that he has apparently aligned himself with people who you say "hate" you. That's not a good sign.

I'm sorry, but perhaps it's time to realize that there is a lot of water under the bridge for a relationship between two 20 year olds, and maybe it's time to move on

[Wakeup]

^^^ What she said!