My mum's love affair

[MaheshBatista]

I recently discovered my mum having an affair with a man I knew well. He was a gardener in my school. He fell in love with mum and pursued her even when he knew she was married.

My dad is a good provider and hard worker. But he has an addiction for alcohol. He would drink merrilly and doze off like a baby. The gardener became good friends with dad. He would intoxicate dad with lots of booze. Then he and mum would sneak into a room to make love. Lately he has become brazen. He would bathe together with mum or kiss and grope her while my dad is dozing after drinking.
I'm in a fix. My mum genuinely enjoy her lovers attention. But should I tell my father and put a stop to this affair?

[basilandthyme]

Your father may be a good provider and hard worker, but his drunkenness makes him a poor husband. It is no surprise that your mother seeks comfort elsewhere.

[MaheshBatista]

Thank you very much for the reply. My mum's lover is quite soft spoken. My only concern is that they are getting to brazen. Bathing together, kissing and groping while my dad is in the house. I'm afraid my father might discover this affair and things could become really ugly. So any thoughts about this?

[basilandthyme]

It's quite likely that the marriage is in tatters anyway. If your dad finds out, perhaps it will be for the best.

[MaheshBatista]

I have no problem my mum having harmless fun with her paramour. But lately her lover has expressed his wish to make my mum pregnant. My mum would do anything to please her lover. But at the same time she doesn't want to leave my father as his earnings are better than her gardener lover. So what should I do in this situation? I feel sorry for dad

[basilandthyme]

Your dad is a drunkard. He does not deserve pity. If he wasn't a drunk, then he'd see what is going on. If he wasn't a drunk, then your mother would likely not be in the position of finding love elsewhere. But as it is, he's so consumed by the bottle that he doesn't even see what his wife is so blatantly doing.

Both of your parents sound dysfunctional. Best to distance yourself from this whole situation as much as possible. Are you old enough to move out of home?

[MaheshBatista]

Like I said my dad only weakness is his drinking habits. Other than that he has a stable job and he was never violent. My mum was very enarmored with her lover. I'm 22 this year. I just want my parents to stay together because I care about them. I can't just wash my hands off those who raised me.

[basilandthyme]

A stable job and lack of violence does not make a good man. It's just a couple of traits of the many required in order to be a good man.

If you want to help your parents, start with an intervention on your father and do your best to get him sober. It's unfair to want your mother to stay with a man who is too drunk to be a good partner.

[Rebeccaa]

Your dad does need a wake up call. He is in danger of losing everything and obviously has no idea. It's tough for you being caught in the middle and it's only natural that you are trying to protect both parents. It sounds like this affair may escalate and definitely will if your Mum ends up getting pregnant.
Your Mum must know that you know. I wonder how this sits with her?

[Chriskey2015]

Awh! I think that would be worst

[Wakeup]

I have no problem my mum having harmless fun with her paramour. But lately her lover has expressed his wish to make my mum pregnant. My mum would do anything to please her lover.

... and how do you know all this?

But at the same time she doesn't want to leave my father as his earnings are better than her gardener lover. So what should I do in this situation? I feel sorry for dad

... and, you know all this, how?

[dollhouse]

Tell your dad, they probably shouldn't be married anyhow at this point and try to get him sobered up and in treatment.

[Wakeup]

Still waiting for answers to my questions.

[Starnique]

Your dad is a drunkard. He does not deserve pity. If he wasn't a drunk, then he'd see what is going on. If he wasn't a drunk, then your mother would likely not be in the position of finding love elsewhere. But as it is, he's so consumed by the bottle that he doesn't even see what his wife is so blatantly doing.

Both of your parents sound dysfunctional. Best to distance yourself from this whole situation as much as possible. Are you old enough to move out of home?

He may not deserve pity but he does deserve respect in his house where I assume that he pays the bills. I can understand why she feels torn. Regardless of right or wrong, its her dad and as his daughter she feels bad for him as most daughters would. Think about it, The dad already has a problem with alcohol. The man is purposely giving him drinks to get him drunk and the wife is all down with it. Of course the daughter is upset about this. Who wouldn't be?

The mother is to blame. If she is unhappy she need to leave and the fact that she is doing it in front of her daughter in the open is inconsiderate. All I'm saying is, leave. Two wrongs don't make a right. Show up a woman. Take your affair elsewhere instead of contributing to the issue just to get a nut. She sounds as unstable as the father, if not worst.

[Wakeup]

This same Opening Post turns up at least once a year. It's a trolling.