Should I apologize, and wait for her to comeback? or she used me and have no feeling?

[STR1985]

Now here is my situation: ( sorry I couldn't able to concise as I thought you need to know it all - HELP...)

Year ago a new girl joined our office & came to work under my supervision. After a month passed by doing work we both started developing feelings for each other. It all started with a blank text message one night i send her late night. Since then we started texting each other & talking on phone for hours.

We dated three or four times during the first three months, during which the only physical contact I made was to hold her hand while driving and sitting in car. I know I was weak n didn't make the move as I was in a state of fair ( fair of loosing her), as she was the first ever girl I was dating. (shameless for me to say that I am 30 years old). We talked cracked jokes at each other and eat dinner and then dropped her back to her door. (no good bye kiss or hug nothing).

In later days I over texted her, over compliment her, agreed to every point she made, more over, I made this my habit of giving her lift to office & from office to her home...most of the times I insisted her to let me pick n drop her..

In February this year she came into contact with another guy in our office through a female colleague and with the passage of time became cold and distant from me. Not putting efforts in our conversation (mostly 80%efforts from my side) and seems interested in this new group, specially that guy. But she kept me on the hook as well but just as a friend and contacts me only when she needs any favor from me.

There came a time I got so fed up with this situation, that i said to her that you have an affair with that other dude. which she denied and stop talking to me for a week. Afterwards she contacted me by herself and we talked for an hour and became friends again (my weakness again). But seeing her more interested to that guy I started to feel jealous and depressed. My work, my gym & relationship with other friends started to suffer. Getting worse every day. Colleagues started noticing and giving me advises. I stalked her on social media till today. But time to time (after approx two weeks interval) she use told me that she trust me more than anyone else including this new dude and this group.

I was avoiding her for a week or more. Now as she has been assigned with a new role and she is in work pressure. I knew she will call me. So, Today she called me I was with a friend, by mistake the call got picked and she heard me talking "bad about her and the other guy, that she is getting in contact with me because she needs me,guessing the other reason why she was calling and so on...". She overheard me for about 1.30 minutes...

Later, I texted her that why she was calling so she replied, "I always consider you as my good friend. But leave now. Call was received"

I like her very much & still want her but i am confused that did she had feelings for me as i have or did she used me for her advantage and is she contacting me because this other dude is leaving the job (she is still in contact with her) and it looks she has emotional attachment with her.

Please guys advice me how to recover from this situation and to get out of friend zone and to make her attracted towards me both emotionally and physically.
or whether i should not trust her and move on with my life????

[woody]

Move on. No matter how you chalk this one up, the situation doesn't sound exactly healthy for you at all. Sometimes it just isn't the right fit no matter how much one is able to get wrapped up in the fantasy of possibilities, if it isn't a match, it isn't a match and one must walk away from such situations to save their own pride and self worth.

You will feel better once your heart decides with kindness to let this one go with integrity in tact.

[Nicolelong]

It doesn't seem like she was interested in a relationship with you even before this happened. Going on 3 or 4 outings over the course of 3 months is not really a relationship. I think you were Friendzoned well before she overheard this conversation.

I would talk to her and let her know that you didn't expect her to overhear what you said about her and apologize. It is an awful feeling to overhear smack talk about yourself, especially from someone you consider a friend, regardless of how truthful it is.

So yes, apologize, be prepared for her to get upset, and then don't expect any romance from her. That ship has sailed my friend. There's someone out there for you, but it's not her