Well, so much for love.....

[TheEvilJester]

I can fully understand where you are coming from, tampitump. I am actually beginning to wonder if I need to bow out of this thread. Not because of anything you've done or said, but because it is hitting a little too close to home.

I cannot even fathom the sheer audacity of somebody to be so rude the way you describe this person at your friend's wedding. Just hearing you talk about that makes the monster inside me sharpen his teeth. Makes me kind of wish it were me instead of you and that I'd, for some strange reason, thought to bring my machete to a wedding.

I understand your reluctance to seek out help from a therapist. It's just, if you cannot get past this on your own, I don't see how else you could. You shouldn't have to live like this. Why would you just let yourself get lost in this? Believe me, I understand how you feel in doubting how a therapist could possibly ever help you. The thing is, that is what they are trained to do. And, granted, therapists are just people too. The first one you go to may not be a match for you at all. You may need to try a few to find one who gels well with you.

Maybe they COULD help you. How would you know if you don't try? I don't know if your have medical insurance, but if so you may want to look into whether therapy is covered even somewhat. You may not have to pay for it completely out of pocket.

As for your story of hanging out with your friends and women being all over them....

Honestly, that just comes natural to some guys. Believe me, I wish I knew how to have that same kind of luck. At the same time, though, I wouldn't abuse it. I wouldn't want tons of women always all over me, snap my finger and ten women are falling over each other to try to get to me first. I'd just like one special gal. But, some guys just have a natural gift. I know just how you feel. Sometimes I feel the same way, like this crap just comes so naturally to everybody else in the world, yet I try to socialize and I might as well just not even exist. I know the feeling. Maybe you are just going to the wrong social events. Go to something with people more your style and you will eventually find people who will be more open around you and include you. As

As a for example, I am NOT a party guy at all. Sometimes I try to go to parties because friends are having them and it is just what you do. I almost always hate it, because I wind up feeling completely out of place, and wind up being mostly ignored by everybody else there. It isn't like I don't put in effort, but somehow it just isn't my scene and I never feel completely at ease. Yet.... in my gaming group we have all become good friends, and we even have new people stop in now and then and I am able to be just as open and friendly with them as the rest of the group. So, maybe just find your scene rather than being dragged to your friends' scenes where, of course they are going to seem light-years ahead of you.

Bottom line, fight for yourself. Fight for your happiness. You don't deserve to be so down, so if life seems to kick you when you are down, maybe it is time to kick back.

[tampitump]

Yeah, that's one of the other reasons. I just don't have the money or insurance to go see a therapist. My resources are limited to none.

That person was rude, but honestly this kind of thing is commonplace for me. It's not just that one person. She was just one of many examples. It happened all throughout high school. I thought when I got out of my hick, small-town high-school I'd meet higher caliber people who would accept me for who I am. Not true at all. I've lived in several different places. I get treated the same everywhere. I know it would sound as though the problem lies with me or my own attitude. But trust me, I've done everything I can do to try to make friends and fit in.

[solarion]

I was fixin' to fetch my fiddle, then you lost me at "But trust me".

The only thing "trust me" says to me is...don't believe a word of what I say next.

[tampitump]

I was fixin' to fetch my fiddle, then you lost me at "But trust me".

The only thing "trust me" says to me is...don't believe a word of what I say next.

Whatever you say.

- - - Updated - - -

Let me just say that if you're a smart-ass like solarion and are just going to find ways to be smart-alec, don't even bother commenting in this thread.

[pcmaster]

the problem lies with me or my own attitude.

Your attitude is perfect as we all know

But trust me, I've done everything I can do to try to make friends and fit in.

It might be true but you gave up too fast. How long have you been on the straight road? I mean no bad habbits, making smart choices, taking good care of your health, following your dream(s) ? Really how long have you done your best? My guess is maximum few months. But here you are 24 and already giving up. Sometimes it takes years to get what you want. Especially when things you can do are limited.

Right now you appear to be blind and making same mistakes again and again in the way you think and the way you live since you cant think so wrongly when you live proper lifestyle.

When you are staying off of your addictions and bad habits then eventually you starting to see clearly and see how much depends on you and people around you start having better attitude towards you.

[basilandthyme]

I just don't have the money or insurance to go see a therapist. My resources are limited to none.

Question to anyone who knows: Does the US government provide assistance to those who have mental health issues?

For example, in Australia those who have a mental health issue can get 10 sessions with a psyhologist paid for by Medicare. Is there something similar which Tamp could access if he wanted?

[solarion]

Oh sure...the US too is pretty caught up in the transfer payment concept. There are agencies in the US that help at nearly every level of .gov. The best place to start is probably at the County branch of the Health and Human Services in whatever County our hero resides.

...a few federal regime alphabet agencies that may offer to loot some working people to offer help for "free":

w w w.medicaid.gov/medicaid-chip-program-information/by-topics/benefits/mental-health-services
w w w.samhsa.gov
w w w.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help

[TheEvilJester]

You know, I basically have no faith left in humanity due to the life I've lived. Even so, I can't say that somebody being that deliberately and unforgivably rude is commonplace. Okay, so it isn't like I've tried much in the past to socialize with random strangers, but still. Unless you are some kind of well known murderer or some other nefarious character, I cannot even fathom how anybody could be so full of their own $h*t that they could consider anybody so beneath them as to be deserving of such derision with no provocation.

You don't even get in a single word before she instantly rebuffs the idea of you even gracing their presence? People like that do not deserve to be on this plane of existence. Like I said, I think the biggest problem is likely that you are hanging around the wrong crowd.

Are there any hobbies you have, or may be interested in taking up, that could be a little more social? Like the example I gave of my board game group. A super-nerdy example, but hey, it worked for me. If you can find something you enjoy doing that will also involve other people, you'll be more likely to find a group of people more accepting of you. Rather than being dragged along to things that aren't quite your style with your friends who are apparently Bradley Cooper and Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson for all the women they have fawning all over them while ignoring you.

Anyway, beyond that I would at least recommend you look into your options for therapy. I understand your reluctance. I also understand monetary constraints. If you can find any kind of financial assistance (I've never looked into it, so I don't know if such things are available) or if whatever insurance you do have could cover it, it would at least be worth a try.

I mean, again you are 24. TWENTY FOUR! That is WAY too young to be giving up. I'm 32 and, despite facing a lot of the same things you have in my life, I'm refusing to let myself give up. Sometimes I wish I could just give up, but I refuse. It's like I said before. Life owes us (you, me, and people like us) a damn win for once. Since life isn't going to provide it, time that we just go out and TAKE it.

I don't know what other advice I can offer, but I do hope you soon find your way out of this funk. I know how terrible it can be to be trapped in that, and know how great it can feel once you finally get out.

[solarion]

You know, I basically have no faith left in humanity due to the life I've lived. Even so, I can't say that somebody being that deliberately and unforgivably rude is commonplace. Okay, so it isn't like I've tried much in the past to socialize with random strangers, but still. Unless you are some kind of well known murderer or some other nefarious character, I cannot even fathom how anybody could be so full of their own $h*t that they could consider anybody so beneath them as to be deserving of such derision with no provocation.

You don't even get in a single word before she instantly rebuffs the idea of you even gracing their presence?

That is *HER* problem, she must live with herself, the OP can just walk away. People that treat others poorly tend to do so because of their own baggage, so using it as an excuse to fuel ones own victim complex is arrogant, self involved, and self defeating. Accepting that one cannot control the actions of others is what allows us to let go of ego driven self defeatist tendencies.

People like that do not deserve to be on this plane of existence.

That is not for you, me, or the OP to decide and at any rate cannot be altered...so why waste energy worry about it?

Like I said, I think the biggest problem is likely that you are hanging around the wrong crowd.

Bingo. Now ask the obvious question. WHY? Why does the OP choose to hang around those that treat him poorly and then use that as an excuse to claim victim status?

[tampitump]

I've tried all different crowds. My close friends are ok when it's just me and one of them, but when three or more of us get together, they always band together and ostracize me. I don't get it. I was the one who brought us all together. I let them treat my house as if it were their own and don't ask anything else from them other than to have their friendship and at least some trace of loyalty. If it weren't for me, none of them would be friends.

I'm going to ease up posting here for the next few days. I'm very sick right now and can barely even think. Sorry.

[solarion]

I've tried all different crowds. My close friends are ok when it's just me and one of them, but when three or more of us get together, they always band together and ostracize me. I don't get it. I was the one who brought us all together. I let them treat my house as if it were their own and don't ask anything else from them other than to have their friendship and at least some trace of loyalty. If it weren't for me, none of them would be friends.

Respect is contagious. Display respect for yourself and others tend to give it freely to you.

I'm going to ease up posting here for the next few days. I'm very sick right now and can barely even think. Sorry.

Feel better.

[basilandthyme]

Oh sure...the US too is pretty caught up in the transfer payment concept. There are agencies in the US that help at nearly every level of .gov. The best place to start is probably at the County branch of the Health and Human Services in whatever County our hero resides.

...a few federal regime alphabet agencies that may offer to loot some working people to offer help for "free":

w w w.medicaid.gov/medicaid-chip-program-information/by-topics/benefits/mental-health-services
w w w.samhsa.gov
w w w.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help

Tampitump, lack of funds cannot be one of your excuses for avoiding seeking help

[tampitump]

Respect is contagious. Display respect for yourself and others tend to give it freely to you.

One way or the orther you're going to see to it that it's my fault, aren't you.

[pcmaster]

Man I don't think he meant it that way. It was more like positive way of telling you how things works. It works like that to all of us so you don't have to be offended.

Good rule of thump is - If you feel sorry for yourself, don't like yourself then you don't deserve girlfriend yet. You have to work on yourself first. Again do not take this personal thats why dating/ life coach are saying to general public.

[Wakeup]

One way or the orther you're going to see to it that it's my fault, aren't you.

Well, you're not a "victim" you are a volunteer in all this. You do nothing to stop volunteering for what you're receiving in life... Nothing! So, in essence, it is your fault. We are what we eat, after all.