Trust issues, maybe rightly so?

[Chris77]

So I'll start from the beginning, I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 5 years, I knew when we got together she had cheated before, that's fine, I think. So she started uni, and after about 6 months confessed she had kissed someone 3 months after we got together, ok I forgave her. One night at uni she rang me at 2 in the morning saying she just got into bed and was going to sleep, ok. She had a outgoing call on her phone at around 5am which was cancelled, she says she doesn't know how it got there...

One night, not at uni, she was out with friends not clubbing, heard her come in at about half four, and I stirred and asked where she had been until this time, she said she had been in hours and just went to the toilet, don't know why she lied, i said I'm sure I heard you just come in and she said I swear on your life I've been in ages.

Last week she went out with friends and I got up at 5 for work and she wasn't in so I rang her, she was on her way home, I get it from work and she had dropped her phone the night before and broke it, it wouldn't charge. I managed to get it working the next day and a text flashed up, "have you got to work alright x", from an unsaved number, so I look and she had a text asking if she wanted a date and she replied "yeah when ", and she had a call to this same number at half 5 the morning she got in, I asked her about this and she says oh no it was for my friend, I knew it wasn't and after she swore on my life again she came clean, she says she's sorry and can't remember what was said in the call.

She's lied about things before. She even said she had a problem. Can I trust her?? She even said she won't go out drinking again without me. But I don't want to be like that...

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I should add we was round one her friends houses one day and there were two random guys there I didn't know, she was getting drunk and dancing around, pulling her top up revealing her bra, undoing her top button on her trousers and pulling them down nearly all in front of these two random guys... Is this normal?

[CrasherRob8]

That last part is the biggest red flag. Sounds like she's a bit of a party animal and is cheating on you. That and can't control her alcohol either because sounds like she gets taken advantage of when she is drinking.

[Nicolelong]

I wouldn't trust her either. She is definitely a party girl, she has a history of lying and cheating and hiding things. You're right to say that the issues won't stop if she promises not to drink without you, because then you are put in the position of having to babysit her, and I doubt she would honor it anyways. No one wants to feel like they have to watch over their partner.

Now that she's in university, she is taking a different path and you are the one paying the price. Time to talk with her about your concerns and about where this relationship is headed.