girlfriend reminds me of ex, help

[anonadamanon]

Helloooo, so to cut to the chase, bad experiences with my ex triggered anxiety in me. Then once i moved on and started a relationship with someone new, just as my feelings for the new girlfriend (my current girlfriend) were settling down, my ex popped up for a catch up, for the first time in months (i hadnt even thought about her properly for about 4 months) and that got me so nervous, so worried id have the same bad experiences with my current girlfriend, my anxiety was triggered once again, and made me completely misinterpret feelings settling down, and made me think i was stopping having feelings for my current girlfriend.

This was in mid april, and my anxiety just got worse up until now. In very late june i went to the doctors, and after a few visit i was referred to CAMS, an anxiety organisation, i think. But before i saw the CAMS guy, me and my family went on holiday, and this just made me worse. I was reminded of my ex, and this triggered more anxiety and i misinterpreted the kind of crappy ex feelings for feelings of interest, which didnt do my anxiety any good.

So i saw the CAMS guy the other day, explained the situation, and his explanation was the information above, that my anxiety made me overthink feelings settling down, and that its making me overthink every aspect of my relationship, including stuff with my ex, and then decided i need cognitive behavioural stuff to basically help my overthinking and worrying.

But it's so hard to deal with. I was getting better before my holiday,but now im worse again, and a new problem has arisen. Ive got it into my head that because my current girlfriend is vaguely similar to my ex, i only liked her because she was like my ex, even though i knew i didnt, plus its much more likely that they were both just my type, as i wasnt interested in my ex at all really, months before starting my current relationship. But my anxiety has made me overthink it so much, when messaging my current girlfriend on facebook it just reminds me of my ex because of her messaging style, however im relating it to the messaging style of my ex from about 8 months ago, plus its the same style as lots of other people i speak to, including myself. Plus, i never even considered any of the bad stuff before i got worse, because i recognised the similarities, but also the differences, and how they were large differences. But my head is so muddled and its so hard to deal with stuff. However i know i can get through it, because i know ive just overthought stuff, plus if i ended it with my girlfriend (which i really dont want to do, bare in mind) id end up regretting it, because before anxiety kicked in, i was genuinely happier than id pretty much ever been, because pretty much brought me out of a rut, and i still get on with her amazingly well. She still feels like she's special, i just need to stop overthinking, clear my thoughts, and get back on track, which my doctors think i can do.

Im not sure why im posting this on here, i think its just to vent a little, because its hard to deal with. If anyone can offer reassurance, id greatly appreciate it, thanks

[smackie9]

Hard facts: life is going to be tough, so you are going to have to learn to harden up. Yes you have much to learn about life, and the first step is try to do things on your own. When you become an adult, only you are going to be responsible for yourself. The best thing you can do at this point is keep yourself busy or be proactive in learning new activities, more socializing, maybe do some volunteer work. In order to combat anxiety is to get yourself out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. You focus way too much of your time on this relationship which is unhealthy...you need a good balance to feel balanced.