my crush is addicted to tinder. should i move on?

[AshBern]

I have gotten to know this guy gradually. After getting to know him and developing fellings i learned that he is active on tinder and dates several women a week. He even goes on there in the middle of the night. I am certain this is true. This came as a surprise to me because he is so kind and sweet to me. He is thoughtful and even cares about my dietary restrictions. He is just very tender and caring. And i see him a lot. A lot.
If i knew he was doing this behind the scenes and the reason he hasnt hing out with us at times was because he was on a date i would never have developed feelings.

But now i know and i am not sure what to think. Is a guy like that a safe bet? It appears he is hunting conquests.
I know he was hurt very badly years ago by his first love. And now apparently is a serial dater. Should i move on?

[smarta$$]

Is he aware of your interest? If so, then I would say he is NOT a good bet, or he might have given you some indication he wanted to date. If he is not aware of your interest, maybe you should tell him, and see if he is willing to give up the dating sites.

[AshBern]

Not aware yet. But im trying to determine if i even SHOULD be interested in someone like this.

And btw, just curious, why do you say not a safe bet if he was aware?

Ps ive actually thought maybe he liked me too but can someone like that who dates tons of people develop feelings? I feel like that is impossible. Im part of his social crew. Its like he just wants to collect conquests, not catch feelings. Seems like someone who does that is closed off to developing feelings.

[Wakeup]

Newsflash: He's "sweet" to all the girls he hangs with.

Do the fade on him and save yourself the emotional turmoil.

[AshBern]

So being a tinder addict is a red flag?

[topazlight]

^ Yes. He loves the single life game, not a relationship material boyfriend as of yet.

[Wakeup]

So being a tinder addict is a red flag?

Of course it is. That site is basically for sexual hook ups with like minded people. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you're the one that can make him stop being a player. Even if he should marry you, the odds are still high that he'd still be searching out strange for extra-curricular activities.

He sounds like a chronic womanizer or player.

[AshBern]

Of course it is. That site is basically for sexual hook ups with like minded people. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you're the one that can make him stop being a player. Even if he should marry you, the odds are still high that he'd still be searching out strange for extra-curricular activities.

He sounds like a chronic womanizer or player.

You know what you are ABSOLUTELY right. I actually just wasted a good 10 minutes looking at his facebook (a big no no, yes I am aware) and there was these two photos of him (from before i met him) that were bugging me. It was a group photo of him and 3 other people, and the girl tagged it to suggest these were her good friends, and he seemed very "happy" to be next to her (no he didn't have a boner, from what i could see in the picture, but he just like had his arms around her like in an ownership gesture). like, you know? she had gigantic breast implants, and was pretty. Out of curiosity, i googled the girl's full name to see if she had a linkedin or something so i could figure out more about her, because her page was pretty private, and guess what i came across. several nude photos. So apparently this is some pornographic model, and apparently this is the type of girl he hangs out with. (yes i totally did some stalking) I got so disgusted I defriended him to stop myself from looking any further. But there is no way I can compete. I am pretty. but I am not a hooters waitress. a porno actress, a model or whatever else. I don't have breast implants. i don't have tan skin. I actually feel really depressed. I gave myself hope. it was all for naught.

I want to thank you so much for your responses, and I no longer will even consider this person having any potential. He seemed so nice. I had NO idea he is friends with people like that. He does a really good job of keeping his private life private (well except that you'd think he'd make his friends list private, but maybe he wants everyone to see all the porn models he hangs out with) (what do you even call that? nude trashy models for pornographic purposes?)

I guess he's not the kind of guy for me. Man I can't believe he is like that and I hadn't any clue. He's really good. a fake. Thanks again.

[Wakeup]

Sometimes *we* just have to do a little private investigating to have it hit home that even if someone wanted us the way we want them, the relationship itself would never ever work out just due to the fact that our personal boundaries, sensibilities, morals and the very way we conduct ourselves just wouldn't allow a harmonious and content coupling.

I'm glad you snooped. Now you have the closure you need to move on quickly and you'll be open to meeting someone more compatible to the essence that is you.

Onward and Upwards.