I think i like my best girl friend, should i make a move?

[LuisLuna]

Lets start with this, the girl best friend is "N"
The ex girlfriend is "D"


I met N because she is friend of my ex girlfriend D, but after some time we became like best friends, D an I even had a lot of problems when N was around, D was so jealous of her.. I never gave her reasons to think that, i was truly in love with D and was very happy with my relationship. N was really just my friend, even when she is so beautiful and attractive, i never saw her with different intentions, just the friendly ones.

In the last year D changed her ways with me and started hurting me a lot, she even cheated on me once and i forgave her. N was like my therapist, she was always for me and i was always for her. She was so helpful with me when D cheated on me. In the last months, D left me again because she thought i was not interesting to her anymore. I called N asking for help and she said she could not help me this time, like if she wanted us to break up.

N and I hang out a lot, like a couple, we go out to have dinner, to drink, we go to dance, we know each other very well, she has opened with me and i have done the same with her. BUT we have NEVER ever talked about being something else. She has sent some signals. One time she said "If i could have a relationship with a friend, that would be you indeed". She was talking with a friend of her once and i was around, then she said "i would never ever date a friend's ex" then when we were alone she said "You heard what i say? I mean D is my friend, but not that kind of friend".

In the time that we have been good friends N has dated with lots of guys but it never ends good for her. Last time a guy dumped her i went to her house to make her feel better and give her some adivces. She was crying and i couldn't resist it, i really wanted to hug her so bad, but i didn't. I said things to her like "you are so damn beautiful that i can't believe a guy dumped you" and stuff like that, She smiled and said "Why can't anyone makes me feel as good as you do?"

We are going out to dinner tonight and i really want this time to make her feel it different, but how do i do it without scare her? I can't stop thinking of her at this moment, i really really like her. How do i take the first step?

[idorea]

first steps.. just say whats on your mind

[TheEvilJester]

I mean, honestly, that pretty much sums it up. Idorea hit the nail right on the head. Which is good because otherwise it gets all bent weird, and then you gotta stick the claws of the hammer in and pull it back out to try to right it. Then your whole project starts to get all thrown off because you are getting frustrated.... Wait, how did we get onto carpentry? :-P

No, but being serious again, that's pretty much it. If you are now single and she is now single, why not go for it? I will say this one thing, though....

I wouldn't do so if either you, her, or both of you have not yet had enough time to heal from your past relationships. Sometimes, when we rush back into dating after a relationship recently ended, it does not go well. For a number of reasons, it can be a bad idea. You may not be ready, it may just be a rebound situation, or you may even repeat the same mistakes because you did not take the time to learn from them in the first place.

This is not just any other girl. This is a girl who is also your close friend. You certainly do not want to hinder that by rushing into a relationship if you will only later realize that maybe you shouldn't have in the first place.

If you've both had the time to move on, then go for it. Yes, it is possible it could hinder the friendship if it turns out she is not interested. It is also possible that you two could start dating, it wouldn't work out, and that too would hinder the friendship. But, it could also be true that you turn out to be meant for each other. Often times, relationships that start as friendships can be great because you already know and care for each other, and you already know you get along. Heck, your significant other should practically be your best friend anyway, so if she already is your best friend, that is great

If and when you do talk to her, I think my advice would be sort of a cautiously optimistic approach. In other words, I don't think I'd recommend you go all out like you see in romantic comedies and confess your love to her. My personal recommendation would be to tell her how you feel, but sort of leave it implied that you'd understand if she doesn't feel the same way, but that you felt you had to take the chance. Not that I am saying you emphasize that too heavily either, just saying that way it might help to make it a little less awkward for you both if she isn't really interested in being more than friends.

Good luck to you! I hope it works out. You are describing pretty much my dream situation of being best friends with a girl only to realize you'd like to be more, so hopefully I can sort of live vicariously through your example. LOL!