From falling to nothing.. In a funk

[Chrismoacc]

Well I'll start off by letting ya know I'm only 17 and graduating HS this year. beginning of summer I met this girl who lived about an hour from where I was. We hit it off immediately and got along well she was jus a real cool genuine chick. We eventually hungout throughout the summer and got to know each other better while falling for one another. It was really cool honestly! haven't gotten close w/ a girl in a while so going through w/ it was kinda exciting. talked ab all kinds of shit and were full on just into one another. it was clear to both of us we were falling pretty hard and just going w flo of things ya know. I never put my all into a relationship anymore due to getting hurt or things not working out but I said **** it with her just cause I was so caught up in it. We weren't exclusive tho. Meaning I didn't call this chick my girlfriend just this girl I've been talkin to. I honestly didn't give a shit what we were I was down for her regardless. Even tho I wasnt dating around w anyone else cuz I was obviously chasing something else so no one else was involved. So 3 months of talking to this girl on tha phone, texts, and going and doing shit together really takes a toll on a man especially me lmao! im Pisces and was feelin everything ab this girl so u can probly understand how intense some emotions can get. ..well one weekend we kinda hadn't been texting much and she wasn't hitting my
Phone like she usually always was so I jus knew she was busy w sumn else.. Didn't think much of it but obvious doubts and suspicions. Well 3 days go by and no text or call so i know she wasn't intending on it. Being the person I am I wasn't trying to worry ab it. Lol wasn't gonna call her and ask her why she wasn't being distant cuz I "didn't give a shit" at the time. Well about 4-5 days later I get a text from her saying she can't do this anymore &other distance is too much blah blah blah bullshit haha. One thing u can't do is bullshit a bullshitter i jus read right thru her texts to her real intentions so I just said **** it whatever. I didn't reply or anything cuz I had nothing to say. didn't care to worry about it jus lettin her think ab her decision on her own. I knew she had probly met someone else and just switched the roles... which of course i was right and she had met someone else and started dating soon soon after she texted me. I still never said a word to her, didn't even wanna. Just real dumb to have that shit occur right? annoying that I had to get caught up and dropped like that. I don't want any sympathy or anything. not really heartbroken just pissed that someone could be so deceiving. obviously she wasn't the one for me and that is her lost at the end of the day but still wanna get this shit off my mind. I'm in a love funk and wanna put myself out there but can't. jus mixed feelings about what love is and how it can be found and if true love exists? don't have any effort to try and date again but still want that missing feeling ya know jus in between... thanks for reading tho any answer is appreciated! -chris

[basilandthyme]

Have you considered that she may have ended this thing with you because you didn't put your all into it? From the way you describe things, you seemed to have had an air of disinterest in committing to anything with her.

Which brings me to ask why you're pissed. How can you be upset about being 'dropped' when you treated the relationship with indifference?

Yes, it's dumb shit to occur - but perhaps if you hadn't been such a dumb shit with her and made an effort to secure a relationship, she wouldn't have gotten tired of your half arsed approach and gone with another guy who mostly likely shows that he cares.

[Chrismoacc]

Lol i get you trying to read into the situation and give your analysis but you're way off. I don't need to explain in detail how well things were going. I don't need to explain everything we did together and how I treated her. You are creating the second half of the story that was unrevealed off of what you are assuming lady. Don't speak w/out knowledge or even logic at that matter. You can't just assume I was a shitty lover because I didn't type our whole relationship back to front but thanks for the input tho. Things were straight and going good at the time to answer your irrational and dumb comment. -Thanks

[basilandthyme]

I can only go on what you write. If you want a more accurate answer, describe the situation more accurately.

If you were so into her, why didn't you call her your girlfriend? And why did you not give a shit when she appeared distant? And as she wasn't officially a girlfriend, why do you think she did the wrong thing by finding someone else?

- - - Updated - - -

In short, if you liked her so much - why didn't you grab her with both hands and make it official?

[solarion]

Because man, you can't bullsh1t a bullsh1tter and well the 17yo dood has been hurt too much already and can't go takin' no risks to find love...if such a thing really exists. The OP already said fukkit and was full on into this chick and was going with the flo. sh1t lady.

[Chrismoacc]

preciate u being a prick dude. **** off and find something better to do w your time bro

[solarion]

preciate u being a prick dude.

No charge buddy.

If you think basilandthyme's comments are dumb and irrational you're likely the one that needs to find something better to do with your time...bro.

[TheEvilJester]

We can only go by the details you shared. From the details you shared, I do have to agree with basil. It could be possible she wasn't feeling you were committed enough to the relationship. I mean, after being regularly in touch daily, all of a sudden you don't talk to each other for 4-5 days and you just think nothing of that? Is it possible that she was always the one reaching out to you first and felt like you never made the first move? I don't know if that is the case or not, which is why I am asking.

However, here's the thing......

No matter the answer to that question, it honestly doesn't excuse what she did. Unless you and her had talked about it multiple times and nothing ever improved, it doesn't change the fact that it was a cold-hearted and cruel thing to do to just up and dump you like that for seemingly no other reason. I am guessing you had never had such a talk before, because you seemed surprised by the fact that she did this to you.

So, yeah, there could be many reasons why she did this, but none of them, in my personal opinion, justify the careless way she went about it. Not unless there are important details you didn't share, but I (and I could be wrong) I don't get the impression that is the case.

You have the right attitude, I think, though. If she can toss you aside so easily without even talking about it first, then you are better off without her. You are young. You'll find somebody else. Don't let a few bad eggs spoil your whole love experience. It can be hard to recover from being hurt, but if you don't you may never find the person who will prove to you that you deserve better.