Missing the love of my life?

[RealLifeSeeker]

Btw I am a female lol. I feel like my heart is falling apart. I broke up w/my ex a week ago. I was the one who ended it, I am extremely broken. I wanted so bad for the relationship to work. When I started having doubts I approached him in a mature manner and he accused me of trying to mess up the relationship. He never took my hurting/being upset seriously, he would blame it on me overthinking. He was shocked when I ended the relationship. I ended it because I saw he lacked goals/interests in anything in life and I felt I was being taken for granted. He never saved money (he told me he couldn't afford a ring) and was always spending it on frivolous things and going and drinking at the bar (once a week by himself). He took no interests in ANYTHING, he never wanted to go anywhere w/me (I felt like I had to drag him) and wouldn't offer up suggestions where to go. I was excited about my 1st boyfriend thinking we would do so many things together, we ended up staying in the house not doing anything. I am feeling better day by day, but still tear up when I think of him. I never plan on going back, I have talked to him twice (he has some of my stuff) and pretty much he blames me for breaking his heart and makes promises to change (he told me that he would be doing so many things w/his life and didn't even do anything small). I held on for awhile hoping he would take the reins and get done what needed to be done. My parents saw that the relationship wouldn't work out as he was beginning to take me for granted, they wanted me to discover this. They knew (in the many months that he would come over) he would never appreciate me. I do not plan on going back because I know that would be the stupidest decision I could make. Why I can I not let go? I have my job, my friends and other activities that I do, but somehow hanging out w/friends isn't the same as spending time w/the man I loved, something is missing.

[pcmaster]

Btw I am a female lol.

Could mention it at the beginning. Was reading your topic feeling confused, especial about part where he couldnt afford ring.

Check this video and my guide can help you too. You can find better guy, being serious here.

youtube.com/watch?v=K8Exlo4E5v8

loveforum.net/the-relationship-news-and-articles/85672-guide-deal-breakup.html

[basilandthyme]

I'm glad to know that you're firm in your resolve. He doesn't sound like much of a catch. Also wondering why you wanted a ring from him.

Re-think your post title....the bit about him being the Love Of Your Life. He may be your first love, but the title 'love of my life' should be reserved for the soul mate who loves and respects you and who's personality fits you like a glove.

[RealLifeSeeker]

I wanted to marry him (ridiculous I know), he wanted that too and kept talking about the ring (he was the one who mentioned the rings). Then during an argument he told me I was holding the rings over his head even though he was always the one making references to the rings.