Painful time in marriage

[Nik223]

Guys, My family forcefully married me to a girl of their choice around eight months back, while I intended to marry someone of my choice at that time. We had lot of dramas/quarrels in our home before marriage especially between me and my parents, but again emotional tourchers and nearly death seeing situation in our home environment forced me to take step of marriage, again I take whole responsibility here for being blemish for everything.

Few days before marriage, I took my to be wife out and told her that there are lot of problems in our family for my marriage and I am not interested in marrying right now but she didn't pay attention and said marriage has to take place because all preparations are done.

After marriage, my wife came to know the reality that I was never interested in marrying her and wanted to marry someone else. She had very good relation with my family before marriage but all of sudden she stopped talking to everyone in my family and went to her hometown and now and then keeps complaining about my parents.

My marriage was more or less death of my dream, emotions and happiness, my wife doesn't know and doesn't even want to understand the painful days I had gone through during marriage, She said that I can share any thing to her after marriage, she would understand me and keep it secret, but whenever I cried in front of her or tried to say anything about how this marriage happened and what my family did to me, she showed her real aggression and shared everything with both families.

Earlier I tried many times to be open to her that she would understand my pain, I sometimes tried to express that I would not be able to keep her happy or love her the way she expects, but she becomes angry prone as I tried to share my feelings with her anytime. She has almost found all my weak points and nice and peaceful girl all of sudden has changed to aggressive person.

The problem is that, ever since my wife came to know about my past relationship and my love life, she has become more aggressive and dominating prone in each aspect of our relationship. if she feels I am not paying attention to her or her expectations are not meeting, she threatens me in regards to my past relationship matter.

Since marriage it has been all downfall in my career, status and all aspects for whatever reason. I thoroughly understand my wife needs love and I am not denying that, but she just seeing her prospect only, she doesn't want to see how much pain I have been suffering before and after marriage, some relationships improve with time as we need to give time in some relations looking at condition of opposite sex but for her since I am her husband and I must love her irrespective of how much pain I carried in this marriage or how much did I suffer post marriage in career, wealth etc.

I am Indian but currently live and work in Australia, My wife neither wants to leave me peacefully nor wants to adjust with nature, situation and time. and Now I am fully understood that I need to be submissive to her and do the way she feels good but my heart is never agreeing for that in fact it cries from inside. I respect my wife, but at the same time I strongly believe that love and feelings can't be win by force or pressure, they come naturally with time, sometimes early sometimes later.

I strongly feel that, My parents dominated my life till 30s and now my wife has taken their place post marriage for rest of my life.

Me and my parents have completely understood that, my wife doesn't want my family or parents anymore who eventually brought her in my life by killing my emotions. All she has to deal with is just me.

Again, I repeat as I am the one who is responsible for everything - not anyone else. This Surrendering nature of me in any situation has been killing me internally ever since I understood true meaning of relationships. In case even If i am wrong at some place, I don't have any ability to fight or stand against that.

Now I cry everyday during work after work, which gives me some relief to bring my emotions out once a day, the script was pre-written well before. this was my destiny in this life.

If you have thoughts, Kindly share.

[smackie9]

You don't live in India and IMO should live by the customs of the country you live in. Your happiness is more important than the happiness of your parents. Get divorced, and move on with YOUR life.