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Thread: Advice is needed please

  1. #1
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    Advice is needed please

    Hi all

    I am new to this forum and need some advice please. Will try not to go into too much detail.

    2 months ago I met a man through a work function(we don't work together), he was immediately taken with me and texted and called constantly for the first few weeks however since then it has decreased which I am not worried about as its impossible to keep that up forever. We have been for a number of dates and I always enjoy the time spent with him and he says the same about me. We are both in our 30's, divorced with kids, he made it clear he wanted to have a girlfriend and wanted to get married again and he is always the one who brings up our future and having kids together etc and has asked about where I want to be in 5, 10 years. We haven't had the chat about being exclusive although he tells me he isn't seeing anyone else. Recently he has been more and more distant, I didn't hear from him at all for 5 days then suddenly he wanted to meet up. He told me he got scared but sorted out whatever issues he had. He tells me he cant stop thinking about me but then he always seems too busy to give me his time. Yesterday we met for lunch and it was rushed, awkward and he usually walks me back to the car but he said goodbye at the table and left. I get the feeling he wasn't interested in what I had to say and there was no hand holding or arm touching which we have always had in the past. Perhaps he had work issues that were on his mind? He did send a text after to say thank you but nothing since then. I know I am overthinking the whole situation and I'm driving myself crazy by doing so! I am at that point where I want to know if this has potential to go somewhere or if I should cut my losses and move on. I don't know if he is sending mixed signals or if I am being too sensitive.

  2. #2
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    Sounds like he has begun to ghost on you for some reason. My guess would be that he has begun seeing someone else. When's the last time he said he wasn't seeing anyone else?
    Pain is what the world does to you, suffering is what you do to yourself. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by solarion View Post
    Sounds like he has begun to ghost on you for some reason. My guess would be that he has begun seeing someone else. When's the last time he said he wasn't seeing anyone else?
    Thanks for your reply Solarion. Last week I went to his place and we were cuddling and chatting (this was after he disappeared for 5 days) I told him I didn't appreciate being ignored although i don't expect to hear from him every day and he apologised and admitted he was wrong, i asked if he had perhaps met someone else and if he had that was fine and he assured me there was nobody else. We were getting on so well and were really close then and he contacted me all week. Then yesterday he asked me to meet for lunch but once we were there it was so awkward to the point i asked him if he would rather just leave. I know he had to get back to work and think maybe that had something to do with it, today he is busy with his daughter so i don't expect to hear from him. I asked him previously if everything was ok and he said yes..then did his disappearing act. So if he is ghosting why does he keep coming back?

  4. #4
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    Most likely to keep his options open, but I could be way off on all of this. You know him better than I, maybe he really is too busy to maintain regular communications. It seems more than a bit peculiar that he could be fine invoking visions of a future 5-10yrs down the road, discuss marriage, kids and still claim he got too scared to communicate with someone with whom he's not even officially exclusive. My own experience leads me to believe that inconsistent communication = diminishing interest levels and/or a 3rd party. Sometimes people feel bad about their own behavior, lack the resolve honesty requires, and begin pushing potential partners out of their lives so that they'll feel compelled to end it themselves. Why haven't you and he had the "exclusivity" talk?
    Pain is what the world does to you, suffering is what you do to yourself. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

  5. #5
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    If it doesn't feel right then it's not...there could be all kinds of reasons, but it's all guessing. What you should focused on is the fact he isn't providing you with what you are looking for in a relationship...commitment. So what if there is talk of it, it doesn't mean it's a promise of what they want with you.

  6. #6
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    i feel u can wait some time not to get panicky stay relaxed a while............good will happen to you

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    Having problem in your love life or you have any doubt on your Husband-Wife, or have a secret affair, or you want your lost love(Ex) back, your boyfriend/girlfriend left you and you want them back in your life, your loved ones are cheating on you, you want a special one in your life but for some reason you can't hold on to a relationship and end up getting seperated from them. All your worries end here as our Love Vashikaran & Black Magic Specialist will help you to get what you desire with 100% guarantee.

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  8. #8
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    Hello there!

    It seems that he may be seeing someone else while he's talking to you, because he doesn't seem like he wants to fully commit to you, as far as you being the only woman in his life that matters. I wouldn't worry too much about it right now. Maybe see how things go from here and see if he gets more distant or not.

    He might be in a tough situation, where he may be confused on what he wants right now.

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