losing feelings/ hate

[Jtrs]

i dont konw where to start with this thing honestly because have a lot of unanswered questions i would like solved.
id also like to apologize in advance for this being extremely long so for all you out there who hates reading, i get it, but please i need some help
a while back me and this girl got together i like her she likes me but right after the first date i just felt like my feelings for her had just depreciated slowly, at first i didnt accept it but then once i did my feelings for her just plummeted, i had none left for her
she didnt do ANYTHING wrong at all if anything she was doing perfect she was really willing and everything but i just lost feelings for her somehow i dont even know why. this seems to be the problem that i whenever i can confirm i like that someone and she likes me back i just feel my feelings for her just decreases, its as if whenever i get something i want, something i crave for even, i just dont feel like i want it anymore and it really bothers me
i hurt her really bad i mean not only has my feelings for her just lost but i also started to grow this hate for her and its just unbearable
the problem is me starting to even hate her, like i said she didnt do anytihng wrong

that girl isnt the problem, we broke up and i apologized and everything and we're just friends now

heres the problem, knowing that i might develop a hate for someone i like i just couldnt stand it, but this time its worse.

a while back i met this girl through a videogame and we chatted ever since then and i just found myself liking her, but then as things progressed i realized not only do i like her, i also love her
i legit want to spend the rest of my life with her and would never want us to seperate ever
i know this sounds all cheesy and everything and its like 'oh everyone says this' but im the kind of person that would never say something like that and the only reason why im saying this is because i actually want to.
i now understand the difference between liking someone or having a crush on someone and just full frontal loving someone

and the problem is, she lives in the us and i live in the uk, timezones just dont allow us to talk a lot
another problem is that we both have feelings for each other and i confessed about my feelings towards her and she has too and just im so afraid that ill start developing a hate for her

and i might just already have.

this is slowly killing me, these contradicting ideas that im both hating her and loving her and just i dont know what to do at all.

though this forum im trying to achieve few things
1. understand why it is that i start hating people i have feelings for
2. what it is i can do to help it

i tihnk thats really it, i really need help, this is slowly killing me, any help would be appreciated

[smackie9]

You started to not like the girl because you had expectations about her before you went out with her. Once you got to know her, she wasn't what you had imagined. You were deeply disappointed, so of course you lost feelings.

As for this new girl, you are infatuated with her not in love. It's called the honeymoon stage, where your brain produces a ton of dopamine, which is known to be called the love drug. Your reality does get distorted, and you do get so convinced that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Trust me it will wear off and you come back to reality.

The danger of a LDR is that since you are not physically together, your imagination of what they are like fills in that void. Your expectations of them is unrealistic, and when it comes time to meet them in person, they are not what you had imagined, and once again you get deeply disappointed.

I wouldn't recommend getting involved with internet relationships. They become difficult because of jealousy, trust issues and the fact you can't be together, hold hand, or kiss....you become very lonely. It is very very painful, and you will feel destroyed. There will be a day when one of you will get run down, lose interest and end up liking someone else that is there physically.

[Jtrs]

i really appreciate that you have taken your time to reply but here are some questions i would like to ask

whats the part with me developing a hate for someone i have had feelings for?
and what i can do to maintain in the relationship?

any help is appreciated

[basilandthyme]

i really appreciate that you have taken your time to reply but here are some questions i would like to ask

whats the part with me developing a hate for someone i have had feelings for?
and what i can do to maintain in the relationship?

any help is appreciated

Just so that you know I'm not ignoring you.....

We can only guess at why you do the things you do. If you really want answers and to change, you need to find a psychologist or counsellor who can understand your history and make sense of it all.

[Wakeup]

I think you main problem is that you think you love someone you've not even been in the same room with. However; as soon as you are to meet and be with her, like the other girl, your fear of commitment will set in and then you'll make yourself believe you hate her, just like you've made yourself believe you love her.

How old are you and how many times have you thought you loved someone only to change that to hate them once you know (think?) they love you.

[Jtrs]

im 15 so i know im just a kid sorry :c but the thing is, if i count this as a relationship ive only really been to like 2 relationships, but the thing is, from the first girl i know from school, she didnt do anything wrong and shes actually kinda perfect and i just developed a hate for her and i dont know why, at first i was unsure if that was really the case where i just kinda hate the other person but its just kinda confirmed now that i just would and i dont know whats wrong with me. i hope i can get an answer as to why this might happen and what i can do to resolve it

[Wakeup]

I think its just that you're not ready to be in a relationship with anyone right now. Lots of people at the age of 15 actually get scared when they see/think that someone is falling for them because they just don't want the responsibility and they are not emotionally ready to share that intimately with anyone.

Don't sweat it at this point. Just keep making friends of both sexes and when you're feeling more emotionally mature and less anxious about the opposite sex and your feelings, then, more likely then not, you'll be over this stage of turning like into hate. (which likely stems from fear).

Concentrate on sports and school and hobbies. All things that will improve your confidence and self esteem through accomplishments and goals met.