When your parent is dependent on you for too long.

[The End]

My husband and I are just starting on our path of life, we earn an Ok salary together and I manage most of the finances. We're lucky we don't have any debts and a decent saving from accumulation. My husband's Mom and sister are in Ukraine, things are hard there, and we been providing everything for them for a year since the mom's husband left. The mom doesn't work because she claims to have bad health and she doesn't have the skill set to work a decent job. She's fine with retiring because she believe her son can provide for her(which I guess it's my husband's choice if he thinks it won't be much), but I don't think it's right since shes only 47. The sister is still in school, she's 17 and not a lot of ambition in her life. She's also pretty spoiled since they were pretty well off before and if she doesn't get what she wants sometimes she will go steal it and she had sometimes even stole from her mom. Now she just just got married (we didn't know about the bf until much later), but he's only got out of school and hasn't go find a job yet), we're waiting for him to complete some sort of treatment so he can immediately go find a job. I know the sister should be the husband's responsibility, I'm just afraid that they'll still be looking at us for support. I honesty didn't even have a problem supporting them for a while while they get on their own feet, which was pretty much me and my husband's intention, but it's been abused in the past where they would run out of money for food and my husband has no choice but to send them more, and supposedly they don't have anyone to turn to because everyone else is poor.
You might be wondering on what they spend on that over the course of the year already went over $10k. The mom don't really keep track, we tried to establish budgets, but that never last more than a month. They all are heavy smokers, but my husband don't want to cut their cigarette money because he's a smoker too. Now we're set on only giving them enough for basic expenses, by telling them that I need to save up money for school. How do detach ourself as a support when they're so used to it? They're always going to feel we're better off in America so we should support them, and that'll always be a guilty conscious with my husband.

[smarta$$]

The obligation to support family members in the old country is a cultural matter. You will have to decide if you are willing to live with it, or not, as I do not expect that your husband will give this up.