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Thread: Falling in love with best friend?

  1. #1
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    Oct 2015
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    Falling in love with best friend?

    Okay this is going to be a long question I'm sorry but I seriously need some advice regarding this situation...


    Alright so my best guy friend and I have been friends for seven years since my 11th birthday party back in 2008, we met through our older siblings (my brother and his sister who have been together since high school, late twenties and going into their sixth year of marriage this January). We've basically grown up together inseparable and have done everything from playing outside at our houses to going out and doing things as well as spend the night together (don't worry he slept on the couch or in the floor by my bed). We'd play video games and watch our favorite shows together. One time we got sun exhaustion from being at a waterpark all day and we still wanted to be in each other's company despite we weren't feeling good and very tired, we just went home and slept forever. I don't think we realized it but I feel like something was going on since we never got sick of each other and always wanted to be together. We viewed "us" like brother and sister and thought it was gross if people talked about the possibility of us dating, but we were questioned a lot about it.

    This year has been kind of different though, we've backed off each other a lot and barely even talk now except for liking each other's posts on Facebook and viewing each other's Snapchat stories. I don't understand why this would just suddenly happen because we basically loved each other without the extra feelings??? My problem is that since the end of last year I've kind of started developing feelings for him, like for example he started being on my mind a lot more than usual and I keep imagining intimate situations with him like cuddling and being goofy or kissing him. At first I kept denying myself because I used to think of him as a brother all this time but now I can't stop thinking about him and miss him like crazy... I actually keep envisioning a possible future for us because we have so many things in common like for example: we both adore kids and animals, we're both hyper and goofy, we like the same shows and video games, we both want to fall in love with someone and get married and want kids, he even told me that he also wanted a boy and twin girls like I did (of course we never meant with each other since we didn't have feelings we just talked about what we wanted our futures to be like in a regular conversation). Could he possibly be my soulmate or something with all these coincidences? It's so different with him then I've felt with other guys. I'm comfortable around him and I don't feel like I have to change anything about myself to get him to notice me because he already loves me for who I am in some way.

    Anyway, we've had some touchy feely moments before like one time he bent over me in a picture where I was grinning over my new xbox one and his head was on top of mine, and at another time he told me once I could put my legs on his lap when I was laying down and he was sitting at the end of our couch. Also at one point I had just woke up and accidentally walked out of my room to use the bathroom to find out he had came by, I had messy hair and was in short sleeping shorts. I immediately apologized and he said "it's okay at least I got to see you". I don't get it. If he still enjoys being around me why don't we talk or hang out like we used to? Is it possible that he may like me back and is too afraid to be around me because he knows I used to like him as just a brother??

    I don't know how to handle this. He's my best friend and I miss him. I'm in love with him. Thanks to anybody who takes the time to actually read this I seriously appreciate it hopefully you guys can help me figure this out. I can't tell anybody I know with the fear of him possibly finding out.. I'm way too scared to tell because I don't want to lose our friendship completely if it turns out he never liked me.

    What Should I do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
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    I'm comfortable around him and I don't feel like I have to change anything about myself to get him to notice me because he already loves me for who I am in some way.

    Anyway, we've had some touchy feely moments before like one time he bent over me in a picture where I was grinning over my new xbox one and his head was on top of mine, and at another time he told me once I could put my legs on his lap when I was laying down and he was sitting at the end of our couch. Also at one point I had just woke up and accidentally walked out of my room to use the bathroom to find out he had came by, I had messy hair and was in short sleeping shorts. I immediately apologized and he said "it's okay at least I got to see you". I don't get it. If he still enjoys being around me why don't we talk or hang out like we used to? Is it possible that he may like me back and is too afraid to be around me because he knows I used to like him as just a brother??

    I don't know how to handle this. He's my best friend and I miss him. I'm in love with him. Thanks to anybody who takes the time to actually read this I seriously appreciate it hopefully you guys can help me figure this out. I can't tell anybody I know with the fear of him possibly finding out.. I'm way too scared to tell because I don't want to lose our friendship completely if it turns out he never liked me.

    What Should I do?

    For me seeing this even as a male I'm really jealous of you of getting your own best friends' heart. You guys are really hanging out together, i guess with those "touchy feelings" that you've had been doing he is definitely having the same "feels" as yours. For now what I can tell you only need to tell him that you love him. There would be no accident that you fall for him as you hang out together like a lot and I'll guarantee it will be a sweet trip, and as for you avoiding each other is a body language of saying that you guys in a way feeling undeserved of each other and scared of not being loved back (scared to make each other dissapointed). I think there would come a time that you guys really with each other, just keep in mind just don't waste this feeling that you had as you will regret it whole entire life. Sorry I'm kinda new at this and my english totally sucks. I hope you understand

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
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    Female
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    I think you should talk to him about the distance between you and tell him you want to start hanging out again. Did something happen for you two to stop hanging out as much or was it a natural progression? I'm asking because maybe he has a girlfriend or something else he is interested in and that's why he's spending less time with you. Or it could just be that you are busy with your own lives and haven't made as much of an effort to hang out together.

    I think it's worth a shot to tell this guy how you feel. If you've been friends for so long and you feel comfortable being yourself around him, you should just be honest and tell him. Maybe you will be pleasantly surprised and he may share those same feelings with you. None of us will know for sure what the outcome will be, but it's worth it to give it a shot.

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