new romantic interest is circumcised and can't orgasm from intercourse? help!

[sexprobz]

Look, I don't know how many times I have to say this, this is the first time I have ever had unprotected sex EVER and it was just for comparison. I am NOT only getting my info from forums I have very obviously been researching on my own before coming here- this has been a last resort. I absolutely do not have the funds for a doctor visit- nor does he (if we suddenly are financially able to do this then of course we will go). I am a struggling artist- an animator to be exact- and I do not have insurance. I already have medical issues that I need to tend to on a weekly basis so all my extra cash goes to that.
We would BOTH like to be in a committed relationship however circumstances will not allow for that right now. Both of us are currently single.
The only reason I am upset is because people are making ridiculous assumptions even though I clearly stated in the OP that I only had sex without a condom once and each other time a condom was used. I am not "teaching" him to not use a condom, he is aware that it was only an experiment and he is educated. It was a one time thing, hence why I am looking for alternatives.
And I think that having to lose your virginity to someone you're in love with is a really archaic way of thinking but I understand it is important to some people and we discussed that at length before we even thought about doing anything physical. Regardless we care about each other deeply. I have never had a FWB before and I'd rather be in a committed relationship.
Also people have been saying that "he's just not into me" or "he's probably not attracted to you" even though its obvious that he is. The other time I was called a narcissist I really have no idea where that person was coming from. They thought that I was treating him like a freak even though it has been the complete opposite. I am here seeking help FOR HIM- not me; this is something HE cares about very much despite the fact that I have said i don't mind at all if he cannot reach orgasm, obviously I will try my best but as long as he is happy then I am happy.
Almost everyone who has responded to me has missed the point entirely and perhaps that is my fault for not putting emphasis on the issue I want advice for(?)- everyone seems to be stuck on our relationship status or that I ONE TIME let him put his dick in me bare or that I am wrong about his frenulum being gone. It is gone. It is not at all visible and I have touched that area and asked him if it felt even slightly more sensitive than any other area of his penis and he said no the most sensitive area for him is the base of his dick. I'm sure he knows his dick best out of all of us.
And I've read all about delayed ejaculation way before coming here. As I said this has been a last resort for me.
I also disagree about your observation of men not worrying about their female partner not being able to achieve orgasm. I see this all the time on the sex advice sub-forum on reddit and many other places as well. And I've repeatedly said his orgasm is more important to him than it is to me. I just want him to be happy.

- - - Updated - - -

Hi OP. I'm definitely trying to get a better understanding of where you're coming from, rather than just harping on a few minor details. However, I am adamant about people practicing safe sex and that one comment in your initial post made me nervous - only for the sake of your own health and safety - but I am pleased to hear you understand and practice safe sex on a regular basis, so there's no need to comment on that point further.

It seems to me that he just needs to get used to having sex. We can all make ourselves orgasm far quicker than another person can, due to the fact that (most of us) have been masturbating far longer than we've been having sex, and therefore, we know our bodies much better than another person would. Masturbating generally is for a quick-release anyway, so we all learn to adapt to a quick jerk in private when we want that release. Sex with another person involves a lot more mental, emotional, and physical stimulation. There is a lot more going on that can enhance an individual's experience, but it can also distract some people as well. The good thing is that he CAN achieve orgasm, it just takes a little more effort and stimulation for him to get there. Have you tried mutual masturbation, or tantric massage, or something you can use as foreplay to lead into sex? Maybe if he is stimulating himself for a longer period of time before intercourse, he may cum quicker when it comes time for a BJ or intercourse. It certainly does sound like you care about him, and that you want to try different things to make sure he enjoys the experience. I think this is something that will just take time for both of you to get into a groove so you can both fully enjoy sex with each other.

Thanks for this advice. I do think things will improve over time after his body gets used to things. We actually just talked about tantric methods today. I've been trying for longer foreplay but he seems to be really eager every time so I haven't thought to stop him, but I will mention this to him as something to experiment with. He also wants to try not masturbating all together. I told him if he wants to try that then go for it. Thanks so much for being understanding and intuitive <3 I really truly appreciate this. I dont think I've ever had such an overall negative response from posting somewhere in my life and I post on reddit and other places I can't mention. I actually tried to post this to the sex advice sub-forum of reddit but it was deleted.

[lightstar]

if the most sensitive part is the base then he will find it difficult to get off through intercourse or oral. maybe ask him to show you how he touches himself and try bringing that into it. or try getting a cock ring and other toys

[sexprobz]

does he experience pleasure upon orgasm?? if yes then his circumcision has not caused damage. The nerve behind/under the head is where most sensation is so as long as this is not removed, he should have no issues enjoying sex.

This could be a mental/psychological issue. Maybe he feels a sense of shame associated with sex?? or maybe he feels self conscious or insecure about his performance etc

or maybe he just needs more stimulation than most guys? he has cum with you lots of times so this is the most likely.. or else he would prefer different types of stimulation. Try slower, more gentle and see how that goes?

Thanks for your comment. I doubt his notions of sex are shame-based, actually that is more of an issue relating to me as I come from a catholic household. He doesn't at all. But he has experienced trauma in his life- cancer and a parent who died from the exact same kind of cancer. I've discussed these things with him at length and I don't *believe* they are effecting him? At least from what I can tell but I will keep an eye out since you mentioned it.

He seems to be able to cum best when there is a lot of friction and a steady pace for a while. Doggy allows for him to keep a pretty steady pace. He also seems to really love cowgirl (i think that might actually be his favorite) despite not being able to cum from this position. Unfortunately I'm really not in shape enough to keep a steady rhythm in this position for the length of time it takes him to cum :/ I have almost passed out before trying to do this. Sigh. We'll keep trying tho. I'm sure things will get better for him over time. Again thanks so much for the advice <3

- - - Updated - - -

if the most sensitive part is the base then he will find it difficult to get off through intercourse or oral. maybe ask him to show you how he touches himself and try bringing that into it. or try getting a cock ring and other toys

He's masturbated in front of me before; his pace and grip are definitely impossible for me to achieve on my own but I have tried to go for deep thrusting. Actually a cock ring may help, thank you. I don't have money to buy toys atm but I'll keep that in mind for the future.

[Wakeup]

Look, I don't know how many times I have to say this, this is the first time I have ever had unprotected sex EVER and it was just for comparison.

Look. I don't care how many times you have gone unprotected. It only takes one time to get pregnant. It only takes one time to spread anything to someone else.. someone who was a virgin. The point: Don't teach him that he can have sex unprotected. Don't teach him that he can only cum without a safe. Don't make him a father before he is ready to be one. Don't be a mother before you are ready and are having it with a father that you love and want more then casual sex with. Its not said over and over again because you've only done it once. Its said over and over again so you won't keep letting him do you unprotected.

I am NOT only getting my info from forums I have very obviously been researching on my own before coming here- this has been a last resort. I absolutely do not have the funds for a doctor visit- nor does he (if we suddenly are financially able to do this then of course we will go).

Then how do you expect to pay for having your diaphragm sized or your IUD placed? Besides, as I mentioned before there are free clinics and unless you live in Iraq... I suspect there will be one close enough for you to get to by public transit. How much do you think a child or an abortion will cost you? Much more then a doctor's visit.

I am a struggling artist- an animator to be exact- and I do not have insurance. I already have medical issues that I need to tend to on a weekly basis so all my extra cash goes to that.

Free clinics. Google for one near you.

We would BOTH like to be in a committed relationship however circumstances will not allow for that right now. Both of us are currently single.

Sounds odd. You can be screwing one another but you can't do it while committed? Really?

The only reason I am upset is because people are making ridiculous assumptions even though I clearly stated in the OP that I only had sex without a condom once and each other time a condom was used.

Read why you need to stop that practice. He will be soon begging you to go without one now that you've allowed it once. You'd do well to be prepared in alternate BC when you cave. And, you will because you are so fixated on being able to get him to cum instead of teaching him that half the fun is the journey and that you sometimes don't orgasm either. You should be teaching him how to please you so that he can be a good lover to, if not you, at least his next partner who hopefully will be in a loving, committed relationship with.

I am not "teaching" him to not use a condom, he is aware that it was only an experiment and he is educated. It was a one time thing, hence why I am looking for alternatives.

Sorry, but you are not him and he knows it's easier for him to get there without one. He is doing this knowing he could get you pregnant yet he still did it. That's not educated enough.

And I think that having to lose your virginity to someone you're in love with is a really archaic way of thinking but I

Archaic? You see, this is why I wouldn't want my son being with someone who thought like you. I would hope that he would have, what I instilled in our daughter. Personal boundaries in place and with birth control in place as well.

I understand it is important to some people and we discussed that at length before we even thought about doing anything physical.

... and do you think a guy that is about to get some is going to say no? *sighs*

Regardless we care about each other deeply. I have never had a FWB before and I'd rather be in a committed relationship.
Also people have been saying that "he's just not into me" or "he's probably not attracted to you" even though its obvious that he is.

I don't agree with those that are saying he's not attracted to you (although the possibility exists). I think there is too much pressure on him to cum and that just blocks him mentally. Stop trying so hard. Let him go without an orgasm after you've had yours. See how it goes without forcing the issue.

The other time I was called a narcissist I really have no idea where that person was coming from. They thought that I was treating him like a freak even though it has been the complete opposite. I am here seeking help FOR HIM- not me;

No you're not... you're here for you too because it means something to your own ego to be able to get him off. Its human nature to want to please unless you are selfish and self-serving which I don't see you as being.

this is something HE cares about very much despite the fact that I have said i don't mind at all if he cannot reach orgasm,

Stop trying so hard. work on your emotional connection, your journey in bed, getting to the point where he trusts you and can relax. You can tell him all the words you can think of to tell him that you don't "mind if he doesn't orgasm" but it would do him a hell of a lot more good if you stopped talking about it altogether.

obviously I will try my best but as long as he is happy then I am happy.

Just **** like you love him and what he's doing to you and take the focus off his orgasm and you'll more likely then not see a huge difference.

Almost everyone who has responded to me has missed the point entirely and perhaps that is my fault for not putting emphasis on the issue I want advice for(?)- everyone seems to be stuck on our relationship status or that I ONE TIME let him put his dick in me bare or that I am wrong about his frenulum being gone. It is gone.

No... its not gone. If it was he wouldn't be able to orgasm on his own either.

It is not at all visible and I have touched that area and asked him if it felt even slightly more sensitive than any other area of his penis and he said no the most sensitive area for him is the base of his dick

so concentrate on the base of his dick then and forget about his frenulum for goodness sakes..

I'm sure he knows his dick best out of all of us.

Yes... so why are you fixated on his frenulum?

And I've read all about delayed ejaculation way before coming here. As I said this has been a last resort for me.

So why do you think you need anymore information the what they are telling you in your delayed ejaculation research? Tell us what you've learned?

I also disagree about your observation of men not worrying about their female partner not being able to achieve orgasm. I see this all the time on the sex advice sub-forum on reddit and many other places as well. And I've repeatedly said his orgasm is more important to him than it is to me. I just want him to be happy.

I disagree with your disagreement Ha! I see far more women posting about that subject on this forum then I ever had men posting about not getting their chick off.

Anyway...

He feels really bad that I get so tuckered out trying to please him

That is very telling about the psychological aspect to his not being able to easily pop.

I wish you luck and the insight to stop trying so hard until he gets used to you, to having sex in general and to be able to trust that you're not going to get knocked up (even if he does have a condom on).

He seems to be able to cum best when there is a lot of friction and a steady pace for a while.

Talk to that free clinic about the details regarding the Plan B or the Morning After pill in case of condom breakage.

[sexprobz]

I appreciate you trying to help. I will go to a free clinic. However you seem to have a more conservative opinion about sex than I do and you seem to think that all or most men are incapable of being responsible or respecting a woman's wishes. These are your opinions and that's fine. Whatever floats your boat is my motto as long as you aren't hurting someone else. But you should also be aware that your opinion and way of thinking is not applicable to everyone else. I don't know how old you are but everyone my age has had sex without being in love and with a lot more people than I have. In fact I would consider myself the least experienced of everyone I know in terms of numbers of sexual partners (aside from my FWB). I have only had sex with two people: my most recent ex (6 year relationship) and my now FWB w/romantic undertones. I am not comfortable saying why we are not officially together on the internet because I'm afraid it will remove the anonymity that I require. Let's just say us being together is frowned upon in our circle of friends.
Maybe you should look at other forums instead of just this one then? I really don't know what to tell you. If you can't see that the sky is blue then you just can't and there's nothing I can do to change that. It seems you're just trying to reinforce your notion of gender dynamics that I find to be extremely flawed.
Everything else I feel I've already beaten to death and I am tired of repeating myself.

[smarta$$]

sexprobz, I see you mentioned in your original post that you "took his virginity". Quite honestly, your level of intensity for someone new to sex might be kind of overwhelming. Reverse cowgirl? Doggy style? Really? If he was a virgin, he was probably expecting something a little less experienced, and probably wasn't trying to analyze what his sexual problems were.

How old are you, anyway?

[sexprobz]

We only did things he was comfortable with his first time and we discussed things at length before any of this happened anyway. If anything he is the one analyzing his sexual "problems" and I am doing my best to provide respite and other options for him. Both of our ages (25) are mentioned in the OP if anyone actually bothered to read it through.

[melancholia]

I think some people are focusing on the wrong details here. Several people have already addressed the OP's admission of having sex without a condom. She responded and clarified they had unsafe sex once, and guess what? She doesn't have to explain herself to any of us. She is not here asking for judgment and criticism of her sexual choices, she is here asking for advice because of a sexual problem her partner is having. I think we need to check our judgment at the proverbial door when we come onto this forum. We all come from different countries, with different backgrounds, and different opinions of what is right when it comes to relationships and sex. Nobody is wrong in their opinion, but it is wrong to slam or shame other people for their choices, especially when they are coming here to ask for advice. People come here to ask for advice so they can remain anonymous. Maybe they can't get the same support from people in their real lives, or maybe they just want a broader range of opinions. My point is that we should be focusing on the actual issue at hand here, which is the OP is looking for suggestions on how to improve her partner's sexual experience. Let's bring our attention back to that.

OP: I think you are doing everything right. You're trying different things, you're reaching out to outside sources for advice and different perspectives, and you do seem to care about your friend's overall well being and sexual experience. I definitely agree with others who are saying you should relax a bit more. Stop focusing so much on the end result - the orgasm - and start focusing more on the entire experience. So many people forget that sex is so much more than just P in Vagee and an orgasm. It's all about physical, emotional, and mental connection to another person during one of the most intimate acts we can practice. I think if you start focusing more on enjoying your sexcapades, it will be much easier for both of you to achieve an orgasm, and you will have fun in the time it takes for you both to get there. I also think you can try exercising more patience. I'm not saying you aren't patient with your friend, but be more patient with yourself. You mention being exhausted, and tired, and sore... and those aren't fun or sexy feelings to have during sex. Try being a little more gentle with yourself and stop focusing on what you're not doing right, because I am sure that even if he isn't cumming, he is still enjoying being sexual with you. Sex should be fun! It shouldn't be a chore or an exercise at the gym, it should be all about the existential experience of two people enjoying themselves in the presence of one another.

I wish you the best of luck, and I do hope that you were able to find some helpful tips and advice from people on this forum.

[Wakeup]

I think some people are focusing on the wrong details here. Several people have already addressed the OP's admission of having sex without a condom. She responded and clarified they had unsafe sex once, and guess what? She doesn't have to explain herself to any of us.

... and sadly, guess what? I have to reiterate to her once again because you are giving her enabling dialogue, that it only takes once to become pregnant and BEFORE she does it again, she should go to a free clinic and get alternate BC then a condum that is likely to break due to the prolonged friction in a dry vagina as described by her.

She is not here asking for judgment and criticism of her sexual choices, she is here asking for advice because of a sexual problem her partner is having.

Yes well rather then ignore the extra FREE advice, added to the advice about the particular enquiry, she should take it on board and stop focusing on the fact that that is not what she is here for. Its important. She can't afford to go to the doctors so how in hell will she afford a baby or an abortion is that is her choice?

I think we need to check our judgment at the proverbial door when we come onto this forum.

Then I suggest you do just that because you are judging our posts.

We all come from different countries, with different backgrounds, and different opinions of what is right when it comes to relationships and sex. Nobody is wrong in their opinion, but it is wrong to slam or shame other people for their choices, especially when they are coming here to ask for advice.

No one is shaming her... we (at least I am anyway) trying to get her to see that she needs to get on her alternate birth control method so that she does not have a child before she is ready emotionally, physically and financially.

[quote] People come here to ask for advice so they can remain anonymous. Maybe they can't get the same support from people in their real lives, or maybe they just want a broader range of opinions. My point is that we should be focusing on the actual issue at hand here,[quote] You go right ahead and I will as well but, I will also be giving other advice that applies to the situation at hand. If her boyfriend is afraid of getting her pregnant (he knows she's not on any type of BC, then that could very well be the psychological link that is scaring his orgasm away.

which is the OP is looking for suggestions on how to improve her partner's sexual experience. Let's bring our attention back to that.

I for one have never deviated from "that. No disrespect intended however; This post I'm responded to of yours has deviated from the issue altogether though. You're on about our posting style instead of the Op's dilemma.

OP: I think you are doing everything right. You're trying different things, you're reaching out to outside sources for advice and different perspectives, and you do seem to care about your friend's overall well being and sexual experience. I definitely agree with others who are saying you should relax a bit more. Stop focusing so much on the end result - the orgasm - and start focusing more on the entire experience. So many people forget that sex is so much more than just P in Vagee and an orgasm. It's all about physical, emotional, and mental connection to another person during one of the most intimate acts we can practice. I think if you start focusing more on enjoying your sexcapades, it will be much easier for both of you to achieve an orgasm, and you will have fun in the time it takes for you both to get there.

Exactly what I've been saying along with my alternate BC method.

I also think you can try exercising more patience. I'm not saying you aren't patient with your friend, but be more patient with yourself. You mention being exhausted, and tired, and sore... and those aren't fun or sexy feelings to have during sex. Try being a little more gentle with yourself and stop focusing on what you're not doing right, because I am sure that even if he isn't cumming, he is still enjoying being sexual with you. Sex should be fun! It shouldn't be a chore or an exercise at the gym, it should be all about the existential experience of two people enjoying themselves in the presence of one another.

More of what I've been saying along with my advice to get on alternate BC asap.

I wish you the best of luck, and I do hope that you were able to find some helpful tips and advice from people on this forum.

Ditto.

- - - Updated - - -

I appreciate you trying to help. I will go to a free clinic. However you seem to have a more conservative opinion about sex than I do and you seem to think that all or most men are incapable of being responsible or respecting a woman's wishes. These are your opinions and that's fine. Whatever floats your boat is my motto as long as you aren't hurting someone else. But you should also be aware that your opinion and way of thinking is not applicable to everyone else.

I think that most people don't want to get pregnant by their fvck buddy. Although I may be wrong there as it seems that for a developed country, The US of A seems to have far more unplanned pregnancies then they should *shrugs* My opinion has nothing to do with "conservatism" but rather concern for any children you abort or raise without means, to be honest. Not to mention that fear of pregnancy (as mentioned many times now, is a good reason why your buddy isn't cumming for you easily... It's not just his circumcision I can assure you.

I don't know how old you are but everyone my age has had sex without being in love and with a lot more people than I have.

Who cares? I am not judging your promiscuity or your lack of it. I did mention that the reason for his delayed ejaculation may be because he's not in an emotionally connected sexual relationship though.

In fact I would consider myself the least experienced of everyone I know in terms of numbers of sexual partners (aside from my FWB).

Like I said, that is irrelevant.

I have only had sex with two people: my most recent ex (6 year relationship) and my now FWB w/romantic undertones. I am not comfortable saying why we are not officially together on the internet because I'm afraid it will remove the anonymity that I require. Let's just say us being together is frowned upon in our circle of friends.

What? Are you saying they would smile upon the fact you are sexually active together though? Don't answer... it doesn't matter... Just sayin.

Maybe you should look at other forums instead of just this one then? I really don't know what to tell you. If you can't see that the sky is blue then you just can't

I say the same to you. You only want to read what you want to hear. And, I belong to a few forums so its not like I'm a forum virgin.

and there's nothing I can do to change that. It seems you're just trying to reinforce your notion of gender dynamics that I find to be extremely flawed.

Yes... As I've said, you only want to read what you have concluded yourself and if its not what you want to read... you dismiss it. It took me how many posts for you to agree to going to a free clinic to get your BC in place which will allow you to screw this guy without a condom (which you say is helpful to him). Jeezus.

Everything else I feel I've already beaten to death and I am tired of repeating myself.

You think I didn't beat it to death trying to get you to acknowledge that a free clinic can help you to get on another form of protection from unwanted pregnancy... when unwanted pregnancy is very likely one of the psychological reasons your buddy can't shoot until you're raw?

Why don't you go to that clinic, get yourself hooked up, bring your buddy so that he knows from listening to the doctor(s) that you are protected from pregnancy in case the condom breaks or you go without one and then let us know how you're both doing after that?

Believe it or not, I'm interested to see what happens when you've done other things then what you so in detail describe in your OP. You're obviously no dummy so get to that clinic.

[melancholia]

... and sadly, guess what? I have to reiterate to her once again because you are giving her enabling dialogue, that it only takes once to become pregnant and BEFORE she does it again, she should go to a free clinic and get alternate BC then a condum that is likely to break due to the prolonged friction in a dry vagina as described by her.

I am not giving her enabling dialogue. If you look above in the thread, you can see where I also comment on her having sex without a condom, without any form of birth control as a back up. She provided sufficient details about that specific situation, I don't think we need to continue beating this dead horse. She said they did it once and only once. Sometimes people have sex without condoms, even without birth control. I'm not saying it's safe, or a good idea, or condoning that behavior at all. However, the OP said, repeatedly, that they have discussed at length, that safe sex is of utmost importance. What more can she be expected of? Photographic evidence of her having sex with him while he's wearing a condom?? For some reason, people seem to be judging this particular OP for reasons I have no idea, when there are other people who have posted far more concerning and pathetic posts than this one. My point is that it's not up to you to tell her what she should be doing, even if your opinion is right. She isn't even IGNORING the advice given to her about safe sex FFS, she HAS ALREADY TALKED ABOUT IT. You do not have to continue to judge and berate her for the same, minuscule point over and over again. When it comes to the safe sex issue, you are not helping, Wakeup. She already knows, very well at this point with all the repetition, how to have safe sex, as she has been practicing that since the ONE time she went bareback.

Yes well rather then ignore the extra FREE advise, added to the advise about the particular enquiry, she should take it on board and stop focusing on the fact that that is not what she is here for. Its important. She can't afford to go to the doctors so how in hell will she afford a baby or an abortion is that is her choice?

I don't know, and it's not our place to know. It's up to the OP to decide for herself what she would do if she fell pregnant. However, she ISN'T pregnant with an unwanted pregnancy, and she does practice safe sex. Several of us already addressed the condomless sex and it should be put to rest at this point, because it is not the main focus on the thread.

Then I suggest you do just that because you are judging our posts.

There is a difference between observing language used on this thread, compared to language used on other threads, and it seems to be a lot more judgmental and critical than in others. In fact, a few short comments above, you went on to say this:

Don't make him a father before he is ready to be one. Don't be a mother before you are ready and are having it with a father that you love and want more then casual sex with.

You are grossly generalizing the situation with this comment. She is not making him a father before he's ready, and she's not "becoming a mother" before she is ready either. She had sex without a condom once, and (fortunately for both of them) didn't get pregnant.

No one is shaming her... we (at least I am anyway) trying to get her to see that she needs to get on her alternate birth control method so that she does not have a child before she is ready emotionally, physically and financially.

And I really, truly believe she gets it, and understands what we've all said about practicing safe sex, every time. I just don't think the repetition and exhausting over dramatics about it are necessary at this point.

I am pleased we can agree on the advice given to her regarding her partner, and both of their sexual needs. I think, and I've certainly been a culprit of this, that we need to be a little more sensitive and compassionate toward people who are reaching out for advice on these forums. We have no way of knowing where people are from, what their backgrounds are, what traumas they've been through, or anything about them, other than what they post. I think where some of us mean well, we can be a little too critical of other people's beliefs and practices, when they are fully entitled to do whatever the f they want. We can disagree with anyone on basically anything, but I don't like to see any kind of shaming or judgment toward people who are just here for some advice. I love everyone on this forum, everyone's opinion is valid, but we should pay more attention to how we are delivering it. It's just not very helpful to anyone if we are casting judgment where it's not necessary. That's my two cents, take it or leave it.

[Wakeup]

This is just getting circular. I'm not commenting further on your opinion of how we post around here. I've explained why I've said what I've said and I see no point in saying it again. I will say that the point isn't the fact that she' only had unprotected sex once. I've explained the point about three times now and contrary to your opinion that we need to stick to the problem, I think her actions ARE part of the problem and hence why her explanation, IMO is not "sufficient" enough.

With respect, I say: You give decent advise, Mel and I find you a good addition well needed around here. More regulars is a need for sure. Just, please. Don't tell the rest of us how to do it or what we should and shouldn't be doing. Particularly when there was no shaming or judgement but rather hard advice and guidance that this young lady should be following and which will more likely then not, help her with HIS problem.

[lightstar]

I think there could be too much talking, analyzing etc going on here. It is prob making him over think things and causing a mental block as well as the fact that he is not sensitive near the head where most men are.. maybe just take the focus off sex for a bit. don't talk about it. have fun together. go out and get drunk together, cuddle up, watch a film, go ice skating or something.. next time you guys have sex just go for it without talking about it

[SuperHappyTime1]

How was that disturbing? The inclusion of those details are important to finding a way to fix his issue. I'm sorry if sex disturbs you but if that's the case maybe you shouldn't be hanging around a subforum marked as "intimate"...

Sorry, sometimes my drunk posts never come out precise either (If you know what I mean).

You just told a story that would make Il Papa blush in embarrassment. But for some ill-conceived reason, you can't tell me why you are dating your friend. I don't know the details, but I'd wager that that's the more likely reason he's can't get off to you versus being circumcised.

[smarta$$]

Agreed. So much academic focus on orgasm would be a boner-killer if I were a male.

Actually, that's the likely effect it would have on a woman, too.

[melancholia]

The relationship status of the OP and her friend is irrelevant. They are long time friends, who care deeply for each other, and are attracted to one another. So many relationships start out this way, so the focus on the official title of their relationship is moot - in my opinion (I hate that I even have to state that, but it seems this thread is particularly touchy). I don't doubt that the OP's friend is sexually attracted to her. I definitely think the pressure and constant focus on the orgasm is taking away from the overall experience and enjoyment of the entire act of sex - from foreplay to the climax. The OP's friend just needs to get used to sex, none of us were very good at it when we first started. It takes time to learn your own body and what it needs to get off, and some of us take a lot more stimulation and time than other people. There's nothing "wrong" with the OP or her friend. They just need to find a happy medium so they can both fully enjoy sex together.