Crush on boyfriends friend? Please help!

[spinachmonster]

Hi, I'd really like some help or advice please as I don't understand my own feelings and I'm driving myself crazy. This is going to long though as I need to give some context.

When I first met my boyfriend 'B' 4 years ago he had a friend: 'S'. Not only did I not find 'S' attractive, I didn't even like him as a person, in fact I hated him. To make a really long story slightly shorter we all had a massive fight and nor 'B' or I spoke to him for over 2 years. This fight only cemented my dislike of him. Then on Friday we all met again, as we knew we would, at a mutual friends wedding where both 'B' and 'S' were groomsmen. We all sorted everything out and the argument has been put in the past where it belongs but something strange has happened. I not only found 'S' attractive but I seem to have developed a massive crush on him over the space of one night. We spent a lot of time together over the night just talking and apologising for previous behaviour and I had a fantastic night just being with him. In fact during the party I found myself seeking him out simply because I wanted to be around him. Whilst I don't dislike him anymore I still don't particularly like him as a person either but for some reason I found him incredibly attractive.

Not only do I find him sexually attractive but I can't stop thinking about him. Over the past two days I havent been able to get him off my mind, I've been fantasising about him and I keep trying to think of ways to see him again; not to try act on these feelings but to simply be in his presence. I have a counting down the seconds til I see him, butterflies in my stomach crush on him - the exact same way I felt when I first met 'B'.

It's not that I don't love my boyfriend, I do but lately we've been arguing a lot, and he doesn't treat me as well as he used to and it has been starting to bother and upset me. It feels as if he doesn't care about me as much as he used to and it seems as if the spark has gone in the relationship. I still love him so why do I feel this way about another man? Is this normal? What do I do?

[Bewilderbeasts]

I reckon you're overthinking this and making emotional mountains out of molehills to justify your desires and so you don't feel so guilty when you eventually do what it seems you're going to do.

So let's cut out the hyperbole and break it down to what it really is. You find this guy very attractive and you want to bone him, even though he's a douche, or perhaps because he's a douche. You love your boyfriend but your relationship is no longer at the honey moon stage.

Your call, bone him or not, either is perfectly natural, neither is wrong or right, and no one cares except you, your boyfriend, and this dude, but don't lie to yourself or to your boyfriend. That would be sucky.

[lightstar]

You are having issues in your relationship and instead of dealing with them-you are distracting yourself with thoughts of S. Either fix what is going on with your partner or leave. Forget S. You know that is no good for you regardless of what happens with B..

[sexprobz]

It seems like you're just incredibly infatuated and on top of that things are not going well with your relationship at the moment. I agree with lightstar. S is probably just a fun distraction so you don't have to focus on your problems with B. I don't know the details between you and B, but regardless of whether or not you two break up S is not looking like another dating option. If you want to hook up with him after breaking up with B then fine. But its clear there is no real connection there as you say you STILL don't really like him as a person.

[Single4Life]

This is why I have trust issues. Honestly you need to sort yourself out before you hurt your BF who has been with you for 4 years. It's ok to start liking someone else and if these feelings start to develop more and more you need to give your relationship a break and seriously think about wtf you are doing. Hope this helped !