Ex-girlfriend confused. Broken up, together, broken up again. Please help!

[Thatguythere555]

Hi all,

I'm on mobile, sorry for mistakes.

I dated a wonderful woman who is a decade older than me. I've never met anyone like her and j doubt I will. For the most part we've had an amazing relationship through over 4 years. She has two children who I love to death and they love me back, especially the youngest.

We broke up and I moved out in July of this year. I was going through a lot of stress with my new career, my past (parent passing away) that I had never gotten help with, depression and anxiety. I ended up not making her a priority and pushing her away. We rarely had sex towards the end and I was always emotionally unavailable. I don't blame her for wanting to break up.

I didn't want to break up but I also wanted her to be happy. I knew I had to be on my own for a while to work through my issues. I now feel much more confident and have lifted out of my depression, work is much less stressful and I've made great leeway dealing with my past.

After we broke up, we were still seeing each other a few times a week for the first two months. We only kissed once and she was very hot and cold about the whole situation. I could tell it was very hard for her to let go too. I poured my heart out to her 2 or 3 times and she always mentioned the 'one year' limit that we put into place as when we would see if there was still a spark. After a bad night out with her being flirty and kissing me, then going cold, I decided to not speak to her for a month.

She texted me to meet up at the beginning of this month. We had a decent time. She got ahold of me to send her some old pics of us, tell me about something of mine that she found and ask if I want to go to a concert at the beginning of next year.

We end up meeting at a bar and getting pretty drunk and going home together for the first time since the break up. Right when things start getting heavy, she tells me: that she's thought about me every single day, she's loved me since the first day we got together, she wants me to be there on christmas morning, the kids ask about me every day, she's been looking for 'me' in other people, she's tried moving on and it doesn't seem possible, etc, etc. It was a total surprise but she asked me to be he boyfriend again and I was on top of the world. We spent the whole weekend together and had amazing sex multiple times. We each told each other that we loved each other multiple times. That Monday we texted and things seemed pretty good, then she got distant until I went to see her on Thursday.

She tells me that I don't have enough relationship experience, that she's scared of commitment and doesn't think she'll ever get married again or settle down, that there's no way for us to move slow, she's dating another guy and taking it slow, I'm an incredible guy and that's what makes breaking this off so hard, Etc. then, we had incredible sex again.

She invited me over for supper Monday, we had fun but nothing physical happened.

Can someone PLEASE let me know what she's thinking? Even though we were drunk I know all of these things came from deep in her heart. You can't make stuff like that up. I was doing well with moving on until this, I cut off all of my prospects when we were official again. Now I'm right back to stage one and it's awful. Is there any way to make this work? I don't think she's trying to hurt me but she is very confused. I don't know if there is anything I can do or say to her to let her know how much I love her and how much I've changed. This time would be so different...

Thanks for listening to me rant. I need advice as I really love this woman.

[lightstar]

Good relationships survive all of this. My grandparents were married for 50 years before she died and they went through everything together-grief, loss, depression, job loss, 4 kids, illness etc etc and stayed strong throughout all the good and bad times. They loved each other until the very end and never gave up on each other. That is love..

What you guys had... isn't. sorry! move on

People today give up too easily. They are like babies looking for instant gratification. Nobody is willing to put in the hard graft to make a relationship last. Once the honeymoon period ends they go looking for the next best thing, that shiny new toy..

Sorry you are hurting but this woman is not looking for real love. She wants infatuation and will keep chasing it

[Wakeup]

Google "Borderline Personality Disorder" and I think you'll see a picture of this insane twit you are putting so much stock in.

She's unstable dude, tell her to go piss up a tree, that you just came back to get your rocks off and that you hope her children aren't affected by her insanity.

[Thatguythere555]

Google "Borderline Personality Disorder" and I think you'll see a picture of this insane twit you are putting so much stock in.

She's unstable dude, tell her to go piss up a tree, that you just came back to get your rocks off and that you hope her children aren't affected by her insanity.

Do you really think BPD though? Some of the symptoms I can see but not most of them. Though I'm not very exposed to this disorder.. Only what I googled just now.

- - - Updated - - -

Google "Borderline Personality Disorder" and I think you'll see a picture of this insane twit you are putting so much stock in.

She's unstable dude, tell her to go piss up a tree, that you just came back to get your rocks off and that you hope her children aren't affected by her insanity.

Do you really think so? Maybe some of the symptoms but not most of them.. I'm not very familiar with this disorder, except for what I googled just now..

[lightstar]

you should listen to her words. she told you she cannot commit. She is not interestee in something long term with you. This is what women say when they are not that into you.. sorry