Everything Is Okay to Not Caring to Believing Others and Not You?

[treehugger101]

Having been with my Bf for 1 year almost, he broke down tonight, going into telling me how he was talking to some people friends of his and that they were telling him that I didn't care about him, I was using him, and making fun of him etc. He then says why don't I care about him? He knows I care but why can't I tell him "Everything will be okay" OR "Its alright". He should know everything is alright and okay. He's the one getting all of this stuff from other people, instead of coming to me for the RIGHT info, he rather believe others instead of me. He is one of those guys that is insecure, needy, clingy, needs to be paid attention too, showing care, etc. I have told him, if I don't fit what you want and these "flaws" your pointing out, then why are you with me? He says because he loves and cares for me. It just doesn't make sense. I don't know what to do.

[Wakeup]

Having been with my Bf for 1 year almost, he broke down tonight, going into telling me how he was talking to some people friends of his

As opposed to some animal friends of his?

and that they were telling him that I didn't care about him, I was using him, and making fun of him etc. He then says why don't I care about him? He knows I care but why can't I tell him "Everything will be okay" OR "Its alright". He should know everything is alright and okay.

How should he know? Your actions don't "tell" him that you care, your emotional response doesn't tell him that you care, your lack of emotional intelligence doesn't "tell" him you care and your mouth doesn't "tell" him that you care. So: How the fvck should he know?

He's the one getting all of this stuff from other people, instead of coming to me for the RIGHT info,

Just like you come here everyday even before you take a crap to find out info from other people? Is that how you mean?

he rather believe others instead of me.

Well, you don't tell him or show him so I'd say he's onto something.

He is one of those guys that is insecure, needy, clingy, needs to be paid attention too, showing care, etc.

and you are one of those people who is incapable of giving or showing any of those things. You are a sociopath that does not have the emotions of normal people nor do you have the smarts by all accounts. He has very little self-worth or personal boundaries in place to remain with someone like you.

I have told him, if I don't fit what you want and these "flaws" your pointing out, then why are you with me?

Because he has issues of his own that keep him from leaving a very poor partner such as yourself.

He says because he loves and cares for me. It just doesn't make sense.

It's not love or care... it's codependent addiction to you and your bullshit.

I don't know what to do.

I'd say that you should start by getting the hell off this forum and looking for a job that pays you money instead of coming here everyday.

I think you have the emotional intelligence of a Waffle. Once you have money from a job, you will hopefully be able to afford a life coach or a good therapist proficient in your particular "ism" which apparently is "Borderline Trollinality Disorder."

[Lilly328]

If all he's asking is to show some type of emotion from you that you care, why can't you? Why cant you say " everything is ok, i love you. Etc etc" ?
You know what to do, you just want someone here to take your side and said your guy is what you think he is in my opinion. That's just me from seeing all your previous post here and there.
You get upset at what he is doing and feeling, but you are also doing the same thing to him. Do you have some kind of problem tree? You even get jealous of your boyfriend dead cat and even insecure he wanted a new pet. :/

And about people telling him stuff, maybe they saw how you treated him. He believed it maybe because you didn't show him it. Like what "Wakeup" mentioned, how is he suppose to know if you don't show it?

[treehugger101]

Haven't any of you, ever dealt with someone like this? What did you do? Thats my main point here, I want to see if I can find someone who has been in this spot before and can share with me their stories. I am a good persona and I do care for this guy. But I have never dated someone thats clingy, needy, etc. All my previous Boyfriends were easy going, had confidence, etc. They never acted like this guy is acting.

[friendsfirst]

As opposed to some animal friends of his?
How should he know? Your actions don't "tell" him that you care, your emotional response doesn't tell him that you care, your lack of emotional intelligence doesn't "tell" him you care and your mouth doesn't "tell" him that you care. So: How the fvck should he know?

Just like you come here everyday even before you take a crap to find out info from other people? Is that how you mean?

Well, you don't tell him or show him so I'd say he's onto something.

and you are one of those people who is incapable of giving or showing any of those things. You are a sociopath that does not have the emotions of normal people nor do you have the smarts by all accounts. He has very little self-worth or personal boundaries in place to remain with someone like you.

Because he has issues of his own that keep him from leaving a very poor partner such as yourself.

It's not love or care... it's codependent addiction to you and your bullshit.

I'd say that you should start by getting the hell off this forum and looking for a job that pays you money instead of coming here everyday.

I think you have the emotional intelligence of a Waffle. Once you have money from a job, you will hopefully be able to afford a life coach or a good therapist proficient in your particular "ism" which apparently is "Borderline Trollinality Disorder."

[MENTION=52694]Wakeup[/MENTION], you always bring me a laugh LOL TY!! So brutally honest. It's refreshing!

[topazlight]

From all your posts I have read /posted on previously I don't think you and your boyfriend are compatible enough and all the fighting and petty disagreements tell you this too. Time apart would help. Maybe you'd be better off as friends only?

[nheeya]

Problems can arise when you both have different love languages. Maybe you think you've given more already to him. If you have time, try reading "5 love languages", maybe it will help you. Share it to him as well.

[treehugger101]

Well all is well with us now, so no more worries to be made. He treats me greatly and I am happy we are together.

[Lilly328]

Good for you guys. What eveyou guys are doing to make you both happy, keep it up