Dating match

[Angel29]

I have known a guy for nearly 3 years as we have mutual friends. We do like each other but over time my shyness has got worse around him. It gets to the point where I can't even look or speak to him as I feel sick. He interprets this as me not being interested and doesn't come out for months and then comes back months later.

I saw this morning that he was a match for me on eharmony. I was shocked as out of 3.5 million people in the UK he was a match. Would it be worth me sending a message saying "Hey, it looks like we are a match... " I have always liked him and hate not being able to be more forward.

[emotionaid]

Just do it. There's nothing worse than having the feelings and not expressing them. At least by saying it, you have a chance at potentially starting something. Better than no chance at all. Go for it!

[nheeya]

of course!! go ahead, its cute to send him message like that,,.. weeeehhhhhhh

[Angel29]

I am confused. I sent him the message addressing him by his name and ended it with a smiley face. He sent an automated response saying he accepts our request to carry on emailing but he never wrote anything. I know him from a walking group and after I sent the message he had put he is coming to a night out this weekend. Today I saw he is going to a night out in his own hometown which is the same time as our night out so it is unlikely he is coming. I really don't know what is going through his mind or is he not interested?

[SuperHappyTime1]

I am confused. I sent him the message addressing him by his name and ended it with a smiley face. He sent an automated response saying he accepts our request to carry on emailing but he never wrote anything. I know him from a walking group and after I sent the message he had put he is coming to a night out this weekend. Today I saw he is going to a night out in his own hometown which is the same time as our night out so it is unlikely he is coming. I really don't know what is going through his mind or is he not interested?

Plans can change if they aren't set in stone. Maybe a distant cousin is in town for the weekend and he'd rather be with them (I've had that happen a few times with old friends I haven't heard from for years when he expressed interested in seeing one another again).

Personally, I'm not a fan of eHarmony. The questions thing never usually got beyond the first five questions. When it did, it didn't get past the open email. I never sent a "Hey baby, you want my five dollar footlong?", so I'm thinking that was maybe my mistake. Point is, I never went on a date through my time on the website. Ironically, I wound up planning a date with someone I had met during a local kickball group on the day after I cancelled the subscription.

My advice is to go to your walking group, see if he (or another eligible guy) is present, have a nonchalant conversation, see if it strikes a chord, and strike up a friendship via social media (facebook, myspace, twitter, whatever you used to get into the group). Then start talking to him. You might find out he's a nice guy who may be way to obsessed with animals, or he's a xenophobic neonazi skinhead and you should keep some distance.

Either way, that's how you meet people. Not through some dating website that supposedly has generic matchmaking software that predict your one true love.