Second Place to the Person

[treehugger101]

How many of you can multitask? I know I can, I can talk on the phone, surf the web and watch TV all at once. But I have dated people in the past who disliked this about me. They disliked that I would focus my attention on the computer screen or TV screen than paying attention to them, or caring about what they were talking about. So they would say that I would put them in second place to what I was doing at that time. What do you think about this situation? Do you think what they are saying is right? Or is what I am doing by multitasking okay?

[dontaskme]

Just because you have the ability to talk doesn't mean you have the capacity to listen. In essence, it isn't multi-tasking if you can't focus on every single thing you are doing.

[treehugger101]

I can talk and listen to what the people are saying while I am doing the other things.

[emotionaid]

If you think about it from the perspective of mannerism, it's rude. Fair enough that you believe you can do all those things at the same time, but in terms of the how the brain actually works, multitasking will never give you 100% focus on all tasks its still 100% divided amongst the tasks. You might be listening but there are little cues to show that you're actually not.

[dontaskme]

They disliked that I would focus my attention on the computer screen or TV screen than paying attention to them, or caring about what they were talking about.

^^^ Here!

That's why you can't get a job because of your inability to pay attention to what's being asked of you.

[megvoh]

I hate when I am talking to someone and they are either online or in person and they are reading something on their phone or posting online, liking some pic, looking at emails, whatever.
Focusing on the person you are with atm is the polite thing to do, otherwise I find it rude, especially if they don't ask, "do you mind if I ..."

[nheeya]

It's very disrespectful if somebody is talking to you and you are not giving eye contact to the person. I understand why they freak out about this.

[Lilly328]

It's rude to me when you're on your cpu, phone, game, etc when someone come down along way to see you or to spend time with you.

Or when talking on the phone, you are busy doing other things ignoring the other person. I rather just not talk or hang out with you at all if you are going to ignore me :/ and that's that ;/

[basilandthyme]

If different people have all had the same gripe about you, why do you think that you're right and they are all wrong? If it was just one person, you could put it down to a difference of opinion. But different people making the same complaint should tell you something.

And yes, it's rude and disrespectful.

[treehugger101]

Why is doing more than one thing, and talking to someone the wrong thing to do?

[Wakeup]

I can talk and listen to what the people are saying while I am doing the other things.

Then why don't you get a fkg job?

[treehugger101]

Plain and simple, I do not want to work.

[Lilly328]

Are you serious or are you trolling? Good luck to anyone who's willing to bust their a$$ for you. Don't want to work and doesn't like childrens. :/

[basilandthyme]

Why is doing more than one thing, and talking to someone the wrong thing to do?

Hmmm....I guess I have to explain this to you as I would if I was working with an autistic individual. I don't suppose you're on the autism spectrum are you? It would explain why you don't understand.

When you have a conversation with someone, you're expected to look at them when you talk. Make eye contact if you can. But if you find eye contact painful, look at their chin or ear. Looking near their eyes is almost as good as eye contact. Looking at a person when you speak with them makes them feel like you're focusing on them and that you're present in the conversation.

The one exception is if they are doing the same thing as you - then you can look at what you're doing and talk. Like if you're hand sewing. Or reading the newspaper over breakfast.