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Thread: Advice...overweight chic

  1. #1
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    Advice...overweight chic

    There is a woman I flirt with time to time down the street, she is chunky (30 something, never married),......tonight we were talking and I blurted out , (it just slipped out) " you have a pretty face if you lost a few pounds, you would be really an attractive woman"
    ( immediately, I felt , oh no, I shouldn't of said that ...I know how sensitive overweight woman are)....we had been talking for sometime and she said, " I have to go in now".
    Do you believe I could of offended her ?
    And if I did, what can I say to re-connect with her . I like this girl alot, only there is no sexual attraction because
    of the weight issue. Still, I would like to take her out. _ Tom

  2. #2
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    This is a duplicate thread but I'll ask you a question anyway:

    Why do you flirt with her if you don't find her physically attractive? What is your motive?
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    I think it is strange that you ask the question....you never liked a woman for their personality?
    My motive is to become close friends with her,.... sometimes an overweight woman, once she has a boyfriend loses all the weight ( that is not all that unusual). If she did lose weight, I think she would become sexually attractive to me. I knew a guy that lost over 100 lbs after he found a girlfriend. Overeating issues can be linked to emotional needs.

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    Son of a B. Not anything that you would say to a women and it was rude. If you like her for her personality then you would not pop up a comment about her weigth. That can do alot of damage to her self esteem. She may not then be losing weight for the right reason. If she was to lose weight, she should do it for her, not for anyone who said she should lose it. I hope she find someone who likes her for her.
    Last edited by Lilly328; 01-12-15 at 06:44 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TSD View Post
    I think it is strange that you ask the question....you never liked a woman for their personality?
    My motive is to become close friends with her,.... sometimes an overweight woman, once she has a boyfriend loses all the weight ( that is not all that unusual). If she did lose weight, I think she would become sexually attractive to me. I knew a guy that lost over 100 lbs after he found a girlfriend. Overeating issues can be linked to emotional needs.
    What if she likes the way she looks, have you ever thought of that? Just because you think she needs to lose a few pounds, doesn't mean she has to. She may be very healthy, and very happy with the way she is. Here you are, telling her she isn't worthy unless she loses a few pounds.... The problem here isn't her weight, it's your opinion of it that is the problem. If you aren't attracted to her, why would you bother? It's not up to you to decide if she should lose weight or not, it's her choice. Even if she were morbidly obese and her health was of a concern, it is still not up to you to decide how she should live her life, or what she should look like.
    "Caring is not an advantage."

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    OMG what have you done?? You hurt her feelings so bad. I hope she can forgive you and make friends with you again. I really don't know what to say here, i just feel so sorry for her.
    Last edited by nheeya; 02-12-15 at 06:44 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TSD View Post
    I think it is strange that you ask the question....you never liked a woman for their personality?
    Yes... but I didn't try to change her into who I thought I would be more attracted to. I'm a woman btw however nor have I tried that with any male.
    My motive is to become close friends with her,....
    You think telling her she's overweight is going to endear you with her? And why does she need to lose weight for you to be close friends.

    sometimes an overweight woman, once she has a boyfriend loses all the weight ( that is not all that unusual).
    But I thought you just wanted to be good friends with her?

    If she did lose weight, I think she would become sexually attractive to me.
    I don't think YOU would become sexually attractive to her though. You have the emotional intelligence of a flea. Emotional intelligence is a sexy part of a man.

    I knew a guy that lost over 100 lbs after he found a girlfriend. Overeating issues can be linked to emotional needs.
    You think you can fulfill her emotional needs when you have so little understanding? Good luck with that.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    I don't know.... I have often wanted to blurt out "you have such a handsome face, if you could only become mute, you would be an attractive man." Would that be bad? lol

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    First off, OP... No! Bad! Bad Dog!

    It does not matter if you are being kind and flirty or honest and shallow, you DO NOT flirt with a lady by insulting her.

    Second, to the rest of you ladies, the issue of weight isn't half as insulting as the shit you write us men off for. Unlike a person's Hairline, Height, or Penis size (still a proud virgin, so I haven't gotten that one yet), etc., a person still has some control over their Weight.
    Laissez les bons temps rouler!

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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperHappyTime1 View Post
    Second, to the rest of you ladies, the issue of weight isn't half as insulting as the shit you write us men off for. Unlike a person's Hairline, Height, or Penis size (still a proud virgin, so I haven't gotten that one yet), etc., a person still has some control over their Weight.
    Oh please. Men have been judging women for their physical attributes since the beginning of time. No one is immune.

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    You definitely did offend her! Weight is a touchy subject for anyone.

    You said there's no sexual attraction between yourselves. Realise that you maybe messed up and move on. If there's no attraction, why do you feel the need to pursue her?

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    So, did she ever speak to you again? It's been a month, at least. Did she flip you off the next time you walked by?
    Spammer Spanker

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    tell: didn't want to offend you, you're quite pretty...

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    I ran into her and told her a long joke about God and an impossible wish " a man who wanted the wisdom to always say the right thing to a woman" ...to make it short God does not want to tackle that.
    Anyway , she is talking to me again, we take walks around the neighborhood, I think she likes to escorted while she walks her dog...but I cannot get her to a commit to a date . ...I get stuff like , " I don't know you well enough"...."maybe after the holidays, I am busy with my sister."

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    Small steps, least you got her in your company again -- wait ( weight lmao) it out
    Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it.

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