Why are females affraid of relationships with friends ?

[RaZ]

"Haven't you tried that advice for 8 years now?"
I said i have know her for 8 years....but a few months ago i started liking her more and more everyday.... Before that we were just friends...we saw each other occasionaly, i helped when i could..nothing more. Anyway i still love her very much and i will be there for her when she needs me, maybe someday her heart will take over and will let me in.. Of course if i meet some other interesting girl, i'll take the chance....if my heart lets me....

[RaZ]

One more thing...She told me that she will never give a chance to her friends... NEVER EVER !! So this is not about me, it is about the friends thing....I kind of knew this thing when i started liking her (i wasn't sure of course), but my heart took over...there was nothing i could do...If her heart would take over then, she won't have anything to do... Please believe me...I have absolutely no BAD intention about her... I hope her heart will let me in. If not i will be there for her anyway

[indigosoul]

Act with self-dignity, and get her to reciprocate.

If you want to get with her, you have to be willing to risk losing her.

These statements are both true. If she isn't reciprocating care for you or sharing with you, then I'm not sure how strong a friendship I would call this. As I said before, if there is a strong bond w/mutual caring/sharing as friends, this will bring love. The best relationships grow this way, IMO.

[RaZ]

Last friday i was out with her and two other girls at a restaurat and while i was at the bathroom somebody stole her purse with everthing in it. SHe cried and cried...and i was there for her...i felt so bad, i allmost cried myself... That night i realisez how much i love and care for this girl.... I never want to see her crying again like that !!I am so sorry that i couldn't prevent the theft......I'll be there for her when she needs me...

[Jenrick285]

By the way, "she told me that i look good and that i have GOLD properties" means "you're a nice guy, you'll find someone great, but that someone is not me."

That so reminded me of this :
[URL=http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html]http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html[/URL]

There's lots of girls out there... 8 years is uhm.... a considerable amount of time to come out of the blue with "Me liikkee you" ...
Not good... definitely not a good thing...

[RaZ]

NOT 8 YEARS !!! I have known her for 8 years....but i started liking her and loving her less than 6 months ago. Before that we were just friends, ex collegues, we saw each other once or twice a week. But that changed....and everybody (our friends) expected us to appear one day holding our hands or something....It was really obvious that there is something going on...At leat that i liked her...everybody suspected and kept asking me...But she told me that she handen't a clue that i loved her...

[indigosoul]

Last friday i was out with her and two other girls at a restaurat and while i was at the bathroom somebody stole her purse with everthing in it. SHe cried and cried...and i was there for her...i felt so bad, i allmost cried myself... That night i realisez how much i love and care for this girl.... I never want to see her crying again like that !!I am so sorry that i couldn't prevent the theft......I'll be there for her when she needs me...

Its clear that YOU are there for HER. Thats not what we are saying. Rec-i-proc-i-ty. Means SHE has to be willing to be there for YOU. This is the sign of a strong, caring relationship.

[RaZ]

I know that would be a perfect relationship, i want that, but you see this girl is kind of selfish. SHe doesn't do anything for you (of course there are exceptions). She is this way because a few people help her when she needs their help and also because she needs a lot of help...No one can all the time...And before i started liking her i was the same...i helped when i could . These months i showed her that anything she needed i helped her get it..She was happy... And of course she started doing things for me (not manny) she started to change a little bit..After that i told her what my feelings were and we had kind of a fight because of her reaction (she was upset and furious and didn;t care what i feel , after that we haven't seen each other in 8 weeks; 2 weeks ago we started seeing each other and talking a lot again, like nothing ever happend) I love her the way she is...and i like the way i feel when i help her, make her laugh, make her feel safe.... Even her parents like me a lot. They saw what kind of guy i am...But its no use if she doesn't even think to give me a chance. I could be the best looking guy on Earth, the richest, the nicest BUT if i am her freind no chance for me

[Only-virgins]

I don't think girls are afraid of having a relationship with a good friend of theirs. I think what it is more like, is that if you two are extremely great friends, most girls don't want to ruin a relationship with their best friend if the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship doesn't work.

You should let her know that you are always going to be there for her no matter what. Maybe she will come around and realize what a great guy you are!!!

I agree and dis-agree. What girls need to understand is once the guy is interested ..there will be no friendship only hate if he doesnt get any. So if the guy wants a relationship...and you dont want to ruin the friendship..your ****ed cause its dead either way.

[Asip4u]

I agree and dis-agree. What girls need to understand is once the guy is interested ..there will be no friendship only hate if he doesnt get any. So if the guy wants a relationship...and you dont want to ruin the friendship..your ****ed cause its dead either way.

I wouldn't say hate but yea i mostly agree with you, OV...Damn, this might be the first time we agree..haha

[Only-virgins]

I wouldn't say hate but yea i mostly agree with you, OV...Damn, this might be the first time we agree..haha

I dis-agree. We have agreed before haha.

[sweetkiss4one]

I have to strongly disagree with the two of you on that! This one could end up that way, but not every time a guy friend is interested in a girl friend of his- does it automatically mean that if they don't hook up that the relationship is over!

[indigosoul]

I agree and dis-agree. What girls need to understand is once the guy is interested ..there will be no friendship only hate if he doesnt get any. So if the guy wants a relationship...and you dont want to ruin the friendship..your ****ed cause its dead either way.

This hasn't been my experience, OV and Asip. Some friendships can rise above the sex thing, especially if the friends are getting it from someone else. Tho I think that there has to be a significant history before the attraction for this to evolve.

[whaywardj]

Indigosoul 10/3/05: "This hasn't been my experience, OV and Asip. Some friendships can rise above the sex thing, especially if the friends are getting it from someone else. Tho I think that there has to be a significant history before the attraction for this to evolve."

Indigosoul 9/27/05: "In my experience/observation, also true. Close friendships b/t males & females ALWAYS leads to love unless there is some barrier preventing it. Its a natural extension to caring about someone that deeply."

Okay. I give up. Which is it, really?

[shh!]

I vote 9/27/05...