What to do?

[Idkanymore]

Well, I'm in a 3 year relationship that I'm not happy with at all. It's just not working. We have nothing in common and our relationship is incredibly boring. I know if I break up with this girl it will break her heart, but at this point I'm sure we are not right for each other. I feel sucked in.

It gets worse. There's another girl. We are just friends, and she is in a long term relationship as well. But we flirt, a lot. She with me, I with her, every day. Good morning, good night, talk to you tomorrow, the nine yards.

I don't know really what I'm looking for here. Just other opinions I guess. What would you do?

[emotionaid]

Hi there,

It's pretty hard to say based on little information provided, however, what is it that's making the relationship an unhappy one? if it will break her heart does that mean you know that she still loves you?
could it be that you are comparing it to the fun of flirting with this other friend? Which you shouldn't because you shouldn't be doing this in the first place. One, it's dangerous to not only be flirting with someone else whilst in a relationship regardless of how unhappy you are, because instead of focusing on fixing it, your effort goes into this other person where you're finding comfort in. Two, it's dangerous to be flirting with someone who is already in a relationship. Think of it this way, if it was the other way around how would you feel, if you could provide a bit more information, other than saying it's not working or you're unhappy it will be very helpful to get better advice from the fellow netizens on here.

[Idkanymore]

Like I said we really have nothing in common. More and more I realize that she never wants to do any of the things I want to do and I am stuck facing that this will never work long term. All she wants to do anymore is "watch a movie, drink coffee, and snuggle". The word snuggle now makes me want to puke because I associate it with doing things opposite what I would rather be doing.

To answer your question, yes I know it would break her heart because she's in love with me. I'm positive this other girl is not the reason for me feeling this way, though I'll admit it is my motivation for the post. I have felt this way for a long time now and held out thinking things would change.

To add, last night this other girl asked me to go to a concert with her. It's a musician we've both seen multiple times and love. She called it a date, which I didn't address. Le sigh. Love is so complicated.

[emotionaid]

Hi,

Thanks adding a bit more to the picture, if you guys had nothing in common, what was the spark that brought you guys together in the first place?
Do you communicate your feelings often to your partner? watching a movie or snuggling, is quite normal to be honest. I understand that you want more out of the relationship
but, it takes two to make something work. If you have already given up, there is no point seeking advice. To me, your motivation in posting is more to seek permission to go ahead with
this other girl, because she seems to be providing better comfort in your emotions. I still think it's wrong however to be doing this, if you feel it doesn't work your should at least have the respect
to break it off, let her know where you're at with your feelings towards her. If this other girl is in a long term relationship what you are both doing is wrong and should only happen if you first deal with your own partners and get that sorted first.