Why did he tell me?

[Claire84]

I went out last night and my friend who has been married for 2 years told me he liked me 4 years ago when we started working together. He said he never told me at the time as he had just started dating his wife and was worried he would scare me by telling me. I don't know what he had to gain from telling me he liked me and said he still thinks I'm nice etc.

[Wakeup]

What's your issue?

.... and


Were you out alone with your "friend" or did he bring his wife with him?

If you were alone, why are you hanging out alone with a married man and not encouraging him to bring her along?

As for your wondering why he told you now. Because he's an idiot.

[TheEvilJester]

Yeah, I usually try to find the potential positive side in these threads and sort of help with thoughts for both sides of the coin.... but I kind of have to side with Wakeup on this one. I can't really see any sensible reason why he felt the need to share this little bit of information with you. Exactly what reason would he have to share this with you after so long and especially now that he is married to some other woman?

Where did you two go out? Did it involve alcohol? Maybe it was one of those "a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts" kind of thing and he just said it because it popped into his mind. Then, I could at least sort of understand. I don't drink, so I don't know from experience.... but I've been told it can cause you to say things you normally would have just kept in your mind. From what I've been told, it doesn't typically change who you are, but it does make you less inhibited. You may do or say things that you sort of impulsively wanted to anyway, but would have otherwise thought better.

If alcohol was not involved, then I've got nothing. I really cannot think of any good reason for him to have told you this. MAYBE if you were kind of down in the dumps, feeling like guys don't like you or something, I could maybe understand him saying this as a way of hoping it would cheer you up to know that he felt that way. Otherwise, the only reasons that pop into mind range from him being an idiot to him being a slime-ball who was hoping something would actually come of it. That's probably a bit extreme, but how could he not expect that it could give that impression?

[lightstar]

I think it would be a good idea to avoid any one on one activities with him. Still be polite and friendly if you wish but distance yourself as this can lead to problems. He has dropped a hint to gauge your reaction and test whether or not you would be willing to participate in an affair. He may not have "conciously" done this but the underlying desire is probably there. Maybe he is experiencing some problems in his marriage and looking for an outlet. The appropriate thing to do here is back away and create distance so he gets the message that you are not going to be an interloper in his marriage or a toy for him to use until they sort things out.

[drleo]

you asking your self what he gained in telling you ok look here whatever he told you is bothering you now, you thinking about it and your asking your self right now why he told you that, you want answer to why because he is married the truth is what your doing now is what he wanted you to do think about it and come out with a solution, he wants it from you since he played his part by telling you so the ball is in your hands now.

[TheEvilJester]

He has dropped a hint to gauge your reaction and test whether or not you would be willing to participate in an affair. He may not have "conciously" done this but the underlying desire is probably there. Maybe he is experiencing some problems in his marriage and looking for an outlet.

Exactly one of those not-so-flattering possibilities I had in mind. I mean, honestly, it is entirely possible it is more innocent than it seems. Maybe it is just his male ego causing him to just wonder what could have been with you. Maybe he honestly has no intention of doing anything about it, but just kind of wanted to know.

Or, it could be a lot less innocent. Either way, if you feel awkward about it, it is because he made it awkward. I mean, again, what really does he expect you to do with such information?