Is he into me or not?

[pinky911]

Hi,

Just some background - I turned 30 this year and have been in a couple of intense , long and serious relationships but walked out of both as they were just not right for me. After a long long time, I feel like I have met someone who I have a lot in common with, who doesn't seem intimidated by my career or success and inspires me to try new things. We have been on four dates so far and have talked about going on our fifth once I am back in town ( I am traveling for 2 weeks in vacation). Now, the guy in question is in his late thirties and has been divorced once a few years ago. All I know is that his partner left him and wanted to give it a shot again later but he wasn't interested then.

I am a little confused as to if he is taking things slow because of his past, his age etc or he is just not that in to me. The second and third dates we had a great time and I ended up at his place but we only fooled around as I told him sex is a big step and I need to know him better before that. Until then I was under the impression that maybe he is just looking for action. But on our fourth date, he suggested meeting at a cafe and we went for a walk in a park after. We also walked back to his place which was nearby so he could lend me something for my trip (he offered to). When we were at his place (and this time no alcohol was involved) , he didn't even invite me to his room and we didn't indulge in anything physical. Afterwards he showed me around the backyard of his house and have me a quick kiss on the lip. It was a short yet sweet date. Short as I had asked him last minute (one day before saying I would be in the vicinity). He msged the day after asking to meet in a cafe but said he had to meet a friend couple hours later.

So far it has been fine, but the problem is that he travels a lot and so do I (both for business and pleasure). In the middle of all this we have managed to meet only 4 times in 1.5 months. We plan to meet once more once I am back and then he is gone for over a month.

Post that I will be traveling on business. It so happens that we may be in the same continent then and he suggested joining me on one leg of my trip in end of Jan. Not sure how to read in to this ?

Secondly, since we don't meet as often I feel that texting is important to stay in touch. He is not a big texter and he for most part keeps it 1:1 - if he texted today and tomorrow , he will wait for me to text the next day. Also, our conversations are not super long. He converses well when he texts, but tends to be Moody some times when I do. There are times when he will say he ia busy and that he will connect later and then he gets back in a day or two ( I do find that odd and am wondering if it's a red flag?). On the content, he does ask me a lot of questions about my day, what I'm doing , family etc. He is a photog enthusiast and also shares some of his pics every now and then. He sends me music and videos that he may have referenced on our dates.

Another red flag is that we both live an hours drive apart. While the first two times we met mid way, the next two he requested if we could meet closer to him since he had some time constraints and wanted to make sure we had enough time to hang out. I worry it's becoming a pattern as I've been to his place a few times but he hasnt been to mine.

Lastly, when I go over and if we bump in to his friends, he doesn't seem to be awkward and just introduces me by name. He also mentioned wanting to have me over for a nye house party - but we dropped that conversation since I won't be in town.

My main problem is how slow the texts are and the time he takes to ask me out again. I really like this guy but have been hurt a lot in the past and just want to tread carefully. Please tell me what u think. Thanks

[benfletcher82]

I think if you feel like something might be there, then you need to tell him. Even if you are only dating him, you still have an opportunity to make this work if he also feels something too.

[drleo]

the best way to know the truth is talking to him, ask him why he takes long to reply your text, tell him how often you want to meet him, then he will tell you if he can or cant and why since you all travel a lot for business am sure you will understand each other easily