Lost the need for sex

[emgib]

Hello.

Please give me your advice. I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years and I am 20 years old. We were best friends for 3 years before getting together. The last year has been brilliant - I figured I would marry him and we were soul mates. But recently I've been so worried.

Since about August my sexual libido has been waning. I'm not as up for it as I used to be. I have never received any pleasure from oral sex, and only very occasionally orgasm from intercourse. Most of the time I pretend I'm getting pleasure when I'm not. I figured this was fine so long as my boyfriend felt satisfied. But now my desire has vanished. I don't want to kiss him for fear he'll want sex. I'm not too keen on cuddling anymore.

How do I solve this problem and regain my libido? I enjoyed sex but now I feel it's a chore I'd happily avoid.

Also, does this mean I no longer love him? When I'm with him I just worry that I've fallen out of love, that I don't love him anymore. How would I know for sure? I know that after a year, relationships calm down and nothing is new and exciting anymore. But how do you know if it's the end?

Thank you and happy new year when it comes!

Emgib

[pcmaster]

I don't need sex too. Goverment fcks me everyday. But seriously lack of sex drive might come from side effects from medication. Like antidepresants or something like that.

You might be as well fallen out of love. If hes not interesting to you as a person then that means love is gone. Its true that relationships calm down after a year. It takes work and doing crazy things to keep them interesting. Sometimes sex therapist can refresh sex life for couples.

[lightstar]

Are you able to give yourself an orgasm? If yes, then you need to teach him what you like. Of course it feels like a chore when you are making it all about him and hes the only one getting off regularly. Sex should be mutually satisfying for both of you. Otherwise it gets boring and you lose interest. The only way to want more sex is to have more orgasms. If you know it will be good then you will start to want it again.

The problem here is communication. You need to open up and tell him you want to try new ways to make you enjoy it more.

And it doesn't mean you don't love him. Love and sex are different things. Loving someone doesn't mean you are in the mood to get naked on tap but intimacy is important and its important you both work on it to make it better

good luck

[Relationship T.]

Some women just have low sex drives. What used to turn you on?

[drleo]

you have to talk about it with him, tell him how you feel, tell him what you want, having low sex libido doesn't mean that you falling out of love or you no longer love him, stop mixing those two, your real problem is sex so talk about it with him am sure after the talk things wont be the same

[Kingky]

Low sex drive and love are two totally different things. Lack of love might lead to not wanting sex with a given person, but they are different. Try to analyze if you truly still love him by questioning your own feelings toward him (like if you still find him attractive, if you like to do sweet things for him, do you care for him and his well being, do you like to spend time with him, etc are some examples).
If you still love him then deal with the sex drive issue separately. Some times couples just need try new exciting things together that will ignite that fire. A naked couple massage, buying sexy lingerie and role-playing, melted chocolate body painting, etc. These are things that can be very sensual and could lead you to getting aroused. Discuss these things with him so both of you can try and tackle the subject together. Best hopes
@quinqbox

[relblogger]

It can be a combination of things I'm afraid, but don't worry about it too much. When you worry about sex, the less appealing it becomes.

I've been Married for 7 years now - we've went from having sex twice, daily to I think the last time we had sex was about two months ago. Albeit the problem lays in the Hysterectomy my wife just had.

That aside, there are several things that can be attributed to your loss of sex drive. Stress, medication (especially anti-depressants), pain in the vaginal area, and him not properly listening to you.

1, 2 and 3 I would go and see a doctor just to be sure. Also; my wife used to feel mostly sexually active when I was listening to her - so I'd sit there and listen to what she had to say, do what she asked - within reason and properly satisfy her emotional needs so that she's not walking around feeling as if I don't appreciate her. That can lead to a big low libido too.

So my advice to you would be > talk to a doctor > evaluate your emotional state in relation to your husband.

That being said - whatever you do, don't worry. He's still with you, right? So that's positive. Men who base their entire relationship around sexual needs / quantity are shallow anyway.

Also - it might be worth noting that communicating in bed is a good thing too. So if he's just not satisfying then tell him. Play out his fantasies, and get him to play out yours. Have fun!

Hope everything works out for you

[Gladimeir15]

You are too young to experience that... I don't think you are starting to feel the signs of menopausal stage... But there are different ways for you to enjoy sexual activity... Of course you have set your mood as well so that everything will flow into proper places.... try something that will arouse your sexual desire.. make your room viable and exciting for both of you.

[mermador]

It may have nothing to do with you emotionally at all, but what foods you are eating. My Ketogenic diet group claims increased libido, unlimited energy, and loss of all the diseases... so far: many people off meds for diabetes, high blood pressure, lupis, and more that show up daily that people have got control of, just by eating this diet, which is high fat, low carbs, and low sugar (sugar under 20 grams a day, and carbs turn to sugar, so limits of breads/pastas/potato, etc or find replacements). So far, it has cleared up huge problems in now getting my body to process foods smoothly. So maybe if you tried a healthier way of eating, you would feel normal again. It's the only thing that explains it from hearing people bounce back.