First "date"! He asked me out, and I finally said yes!!!

[PrincessKiara]

OMG!!!

For those of you who read my recent threads...

A while ago I began to hear from my friend Beren regularly again. He was in his hometown and hadn't been able to contact me. I finally managed to get a hold of him through a friend who let him know I wanted to speak to him, and he bought a phone just so he could talk to me (which I now feel kind of guilty over, but dang, am I happy he's not ghosting anymore!) I let him know of what happened with my parents and he said he wanted to come back, said his job would bring him back within a few days. He wrote me the most beautiful song, and apologized profusely for poofing previously...said I was the most important person in his life aside from his younger brother and sent me some ADORABLE pictures of himself dressed up as Jack Frost and holding his little brother <3 He said he was very worried about me, even told me he had thought I might be exaggerating a little bit when I told him about my problems with my parents...said he was shocked they threw me out and one day they would realize how "great" I am. I told him not to worry, I'll pull through...but I did say I miss him and would like to see him. We chatted on the phone for almost one hour until I ran out of phone credit, but since then he's messaged me nearly daily. He'll also call me beautiful and princess and my girl far more often than he used to, and I occasionally reciprocate by calling him handsome, though not half as often as he does...don't want to seem clingy or needy.

About three days ago he messaged me saying "hello beautiful, I'm waiting to hitch a ride on a trailer, some drivers go down all the way to *my town*" I freaked because it's so dangerous here in Mexico, with so many recent killings and kidnappings, and he doesn't believe in hitting back so that even if they tried to hurt him and he knew how to defend himself he probably wouldn't. I told him "No, don't do that! Why don't you take a bus?" And he said he had only fifty pesos in his pocket and the bus cost nearly 600. He said the family he'd been staying with here was taking care of his money for him and he couldn't contact them just then, so I offered to lend him some for his ticket. He at first said no because he didn't want to give me any trouble, but I said it would be no trouble as long as he was safe. I did tell him to at least get a key, pen or other sharp object so that he could defend himself at need.

He then said, "Okay, I will accept, but on one condition." I asked what it was, and he said, "You have to let me pay you back and take you out to breakfast or to the movies." I about died xD but I accepted and transferred the money to his bank account.

He asked me to visit him at his workplace yesterday. I would have gone, but was swamped in work and other commitments so that it wasn't even funny; so he asked if we could see each other on Monday, which is his rest day. I was quite eager to agree, but for my schedule... Monday is tomorrow and I'm moving house today, then starting school tomorrow, which means I have to get up at 5AM to be at work at 7AM, leave for school at 1PM and stay at school until 10PM, and my school isn't in the safest part of town by any means. I told him this, and that I thought it might not be such a good idea, but he was like "That's why I will pick you up after I buy the tickets, and then I will take you to your house." I about died!!! But didn't want to seem too enthusiastic, so I was like, "Okay " and that was it. First time he's ever been so adamant on going out with me...usually he'll just say "We should go out to the movies soon" and I will be like "We'll see, I'm really busy" and we leave it at that (as I mentioned, I wanted to accept, but I had my reasons). I have rarely been out alone with a friend, much less a male friend, and never at night!

Yesterday I bought green and black eyeliner, mascara, baby oil and eyelash curler. I am sooooo excited! Today I will buy hair cream and work on a nice hairstyle for tomorrow. Shame I have only the one dress...but it will have to do, as I will NOT go on a date while wearing my school uniform! xD

Any tips!? What is likely to happen? Anything I should or shouldn't do or say!? My grandma swears that he's going to try to kiss me, touch me all over and do other things e_e She can talk until she's blue in the face, I know he would never do anything against my will. But do you think it's likely that he will try any of that? (Within respectful boundaries, of course, because I KNOW he would NEVER disrespect me!) And how should I respond? I want a kiss--nothing more. But I don't plan on initiating it, LOL. And now I don't think it would be a good idea to tell him of my feelings...yes?

What do I have to expect???

And is it just posible that this is just a friendly gesture, not a date, and I'm reading waaaaay too much into it????

And I've been told not to overdo it with the makeup. No fear there! I have rarely used it, and prefer a more natural look anyway...thin line of green liner on bottom lid and some mascara, that's it. LOL...makes my gray eyes stand out decently enough, they look greenish too...lol.

[Mosar]

Hello, I am Mosar.

I am reading this forum for a few days now and I've NEVER considered making an account. I don't know you, but I just made an account to congrats you. :D
I've read all of your posts and I ADORE the way you form your words. If we put all of your posts together, it will become a great novel ;o
I've been sad the last few days, but just reading this post made me overloaded with happiness.

Anyway, he is NOT going to do any e_e things as your grandma said. I don't know if you should wait him to say his feelings first, but it would be better if it comes from him as first. Usually when a girl confesses to a boy, the boy will get bored of her quickly because he got her easily, but that awesome guy seems different. Keep the makeup light (or without makeup at all) and dress something you feel free in. :DDDDDDDDD

Btw using his innocence to write in this forum because you know that he's not going to recognize himself is kinda sneaky :p
Oh, almost forget, I like Sherlock too, did you see season 4 of Sherlock. IT WAS AWESOME. Also it's not a usual thing to see a Sherlock lover on a love forum. XD

Have a nice date.

[pcmaster]

Its nice that you kids are going to finally meet. Your grany was right, he for sure is going to try something, at least kiss for sure. Another thing if he gonna man up to do it. If you gona do your makeup too good he might freak out and start to think - "Shes so beautiful, shes too good for me, I don't deserver her" and chicken out. I wonder how you look before and after makeup.
The truth is that you are not too beautiful its just guy have low expectations in girls and low self-esteem so you are beautiful in his mind, in his eyes. You are beautiful to him.

You sure have changed your mind. Before you planned to tell him and now you think its not a good idea. Seems like hardest part is left on guy's shoulders. I wish him strength and courage cause he will need it with you and with girls in general.

[geicoad]

Good for u

[PrincessKiara]

Its nice that you kids are going to finally meet. Your grany was right, he for sure is going to try something, at least kiss for sure. Another thing if he gonna man up to do it.

Think he will? He only once "bugged" me this much to go out with him, he practically didn't give me a choice, not that I wanted one though lol. Then midnight on the day before he tells me they didn't give him the day off and he can't see me. He's been trying to reschedule, but no longer mentioning going out together or naming a specific time...

We're supposed to see each other very soon, time permitting. He asked me to tell him when I'm free and he'll ask for a few hours off from his job. I can on Friday since I get off school early, but I don't want to take him away from his job, even if his employer already gave him the green light. Should I tell him, then? I'm dying to see him but don't want to seem desperate.

If you gona do your makeup too good he might freak out and start to think - "Shes so beautiful, shes too good for me, I don't deserver her" and chicken out. I wonder how you look before and after makeup.

If you want pictures, my FB link is /PrintesaDinDragostea and I have a couple shots of us together there But I don't overdo makeup, I don't know how even if I wanted to, lol. Just a bit of mascara and thin line of black/dark green eyeliner.

The truth is that you are not too beautiful its just guy have low expectations in girls and low self-esteem so you are beautiful in his mind, in his eyes. You are beautiful to him.

And he's adorable to me! But no, I'm no model lol :p My 'type' is unusual for Mexico, and usually considered 'better', btu

You sure have changed your mind. Before you planned to tell him and now you think its not a good idea. Seems like hardest part is left on guy's shoulders. I wish him strength and courage cause he will need it with you and with girls in general.

I do want to tell him, and before he asked me out well I would have, but somehow this has confused me more. I don't want him to think that one date is all it took for me to fall for him, because quite obviously that's not so, but then again this is my fault for not saying anything BEFORE.

I still WANT to tell him, though. Think I should? Or maybe just rest my head on his shoulders/hold his hand/etc. and hope he'll take the hint? Or will he just think I'm easy and creepy? Or will he not catch a hint?

Hello, I am Mosar.

I am reading this forum for a few days now and I've NEVER considered making an account. I don't know you, but I just made an account to congrats you.
I've read all of your posts and I ADORE the way you form your words. If we put all of your posts together, it will become a great novel ;o
I've been sad the last few days, but just reading this post made me overloaded with happiness.

LOL...thank you, I guess! xD I enjoy writing, but didn't think anyone else would like my stuff, lol...have like half a zillion incomplete novels lying around.

Anyway, he is NOT going to do any e_e things as your grandma said. I don't know if you should wait him to say his feelings first, but it would be better if it comes from him as first. Usually when a girl confesses to a boy, the boy will get bored of her quickly because he got her easily, but that awesome guy seems different. Keep the makeup light (or without makeup at all) and dress something you feel free in. DDDDDDDD

My fear exactly! He's been seeming to chase me for months, but I cannot be 100% sure.

Btw using his innocence to write in this forum because you know that he's not going to recognize himself is kinda sneaky :p

Heh, I think if he were to read this he'd probably think I'm weird...plus it would be much worse than me telling him outright, lol.

Oh, almost forget, I like Sherlock too, did you see season 4 of Sherlock. IT WAS AWESOME. Also it's not a usual thing to see a Sherlock lover on a love forum. XD

SHERLOCKED FOREVER!!!!

Have a nice date.

Thank you! I hope there will BE one, first he insisted and now he seems to half want to push me and half want to back out lol. Make up your mind boy!

[pcmaster]

Hey there Kiara. Just looked at your profile pictures and you sure look good enough to not worry about stuff. If your current profile pic is without makeup then you dont need makeup on a date, just ex-foliate skin to give it that natural glow.

I still WANT to tell him, though. Think I should? Or maybe just rest my head on his shoulders/hold his hand/etc. and hope he'll take the hint? Or will he just think I'm easy and creepy? Or will he not catch a hint?

Just do what you feel like at the moment. Thats what love is - being exactly who you wanna be at the moment. You dont have to be afraid to be creepy cause guy clearly likes you and are interested so he will like whatever you will do. Being close to each other and touching could do even more than words. Its all about being direct, doing whats in your heart and making other person feel the same way you do. - And when you love someone you do that by doing what you want.

Don't worry about his work. Its worth to take time off to see someone that matters to you. You know in the summer there was one girl that was visiting my town (We chatted for 9 months on FB before almost every day) She knew I want to meet her but at the time I took my work very serious and didnt took day off to see her. This repeated and later she didnt wanted to meet anymore. Now she have BF, we still chat sometimes but she seems to be hundred miles away emotionally.

So yeah if he wants to take time off then let him. Just because at work they pay people few pesos don't mean they own them. Its easier to find new job than new love.

[PrincessKiara]

Hey there Kiara. Just looked at your profile pictures and you sure look good enough to not worry about stuff. If your current profile pic is without makeup then you dont need makeup on a date, just ex-foliate skin to give it that natural glow.

Heh, thank you *blush* I don't often use makeup, or if I do, only sparingly...but I would like to look my very best, especially considering I'm likely going to have to be wearing the SAME dress I wore yesterday to see him. *facepalm*

Just do what you feel like at the moment. Thats what love is - being exactly who you wanna be at the moment. You dont have to be afraid to be creepy cause guy clearly likes you and are interested so he will like whatever you will do. Being close to each other and touching could do even more than words. Its all about being direct, doing whats in your heart and making other person feel the same way you do. - And when you love someone you do that by doing what you want.

So right! As soon as I saw him, all my anxiety/nervousness just melted away. I felt I could be myself with him around, and I knew he wouldn't judge me if I messed up or tripped over my own words.

Normally I feel shy enough around guys to not touch them except for said hug/peck and maybe a poke or punch on the arm if they're being annoying and we're friends, but with him, it just felt natural, no hesitation. He confided to me that he thought he might be depressed because sometimes he felt sad, but I told him it's normal with all that he's gone through and he needs to stay strong. I took his hand as I said this, hardly realizing I'd done so, and just as I was like "oh poop now he'll think I'm hitting on him or something" he took both my hands and started to examine them. I wanted to disappear because of my chewed-up fingernails (I have been struggling against this habit for over ten years, unsuccessfully :hurt: ) but he didn't seem to care about it and said my hands were beautiful. <3 Then he apologized for getting sweat on my hands, then took out a pen and drew a beautiful scene on the back of my hand...two strange but cute marshmallow creatures he invented, with several hearts, our names and "I love you"/"Friends Forever"

Don't worry about his work. Its worth to take time off to see someone that matters to you. You know in the summer there was one girl that was visiting my town (We chatted for 9 months on FB before almost every day) She knew I want to meet her but at the time I took my work very serious and didnt took day off to see her. This repeated and later she didnt wanted to meet anymore. Now she have BF, we still chat sometimes but she seems to be hundred miles away emotionally.

So yeah if he wants to take time off then let him. Just because at work they pay people few pesos don't mean they own them. Its easier to find new job than new love.

Aw, I'm sorry about your friend, pcmaster I know you're right, but I don't want to be needy/clingy, and I know he has had some VERY tough times economically.

Sooooo yesterday he asked if I could go see him at his job. He helped me find a place to live...was late to work just to look for a room for me. (I was also looking, of course, but I'd had no luck; and having bounced from room to room not too long ago, he knows his way around). When I was on my way he made an effort to speak in English (which was adorable as he only knows a few words), sent me a message asking about my favorite color, then asking whether I liked Bugs Bunny, and then what type of phone I had. I thought it was unusual and asked him why and he said "oh I can't tell you," so I was like, "Oh, then you're going to be all mysterious, eh?" and he replied "Yes "...when I got there he gave me a case for my phone, that I'd been looking for (how he knew I needed one, I'll never know!)...it was pink with hearts, with a drawing of the Eiffel Tower and the word LOVE on it...he said the only blue case they had had Bugs Bunny on it and as he didn't know whether I liked it he got me this one instead. As I was just arriving he texted me saying, "Are you here yet? I don't want to hurry you, hahaha, just asking," to which I didn't reply as I was indeed there and wanted to sneak up on him, LOL.

Mind, we hadn't seen each other for over a month. So when I found his booth he was sitting there poking at his phone. I moseyed up and said hi, and I saw how his eyes lit up... He jumped like a kitten and immediately ran out to hug me. I can generally tell when someone really doesn't want to see me...a common reaction I get, I might add, as I'm a bit of an introvert at times and at others way too chatty. With Beren, it's different. I can totally tell he enjoys my company.

He said he was really nervous but happy and I asked him why. He said, "Because you're here," and I teased him about it, saying I don't bite. His hands were really sweaty and he just kept looking at me...saying I was the most beautiful girl in the world and asking if I get told that a lot. He introduced me to his boss and some "co-workers" (read: competitors) with whom he is friendly. I watched him with his boss's two-year-old son. He's just so sweet and affectionate. The boy obviously adored him, and he was able to calm him when he screamed after his mother left to buy something. By contrast, the kid wouldn't even say hi to me, LOL :p

He was waaaay more touchy-feely than was his wont...not that I minded, lol. Nothing inappropriate, of course. He wouldn't be capable of it, I'm sure. It's just that usually I initiated all touching except the mandatory greeting hug and peck on the cheek. We hugged and pecked now too. But our hugs this time were closer and more lingering. He kissed me probably five or six times, although all were on the cheek, and even took a photo of him kissing me (his idea, not mine). He kept cupping and touching my face and hair as well. I didn't feel nervous, but I guess my brain had other ideas, LOL...my hands were shaking and, worst of all, HE SAW IT Dx

Beren asked me when he could take me to the movies. I said "You tell me," and he complained, "But you're always busy, and you always say your boss doesn't let you off work!" (True. I do say that. But I say it because it's true ) So I told him what time I get off school and he asked to pick me up Monday. I said yes!

He also gave me a silver fish necklace that he said was very special to him. He wanted to give me everything he had, LOL!!! :tan: He got sad, but I wouldn't let him lol... he wanted to give me his sweatshirt "so I'd feel he was hugging me whenever I wore it". I absolutely refused to take it, though, because it's FREEZING where he works, and I already had a warm vest. He insisted, but I said "I don't want you to catch a cold and not be able to meet me on Monday!" and he gave up.

I just feel sooooo lucky to have found this guy. He mentioned to me how some of the girls and even guys in other booths hit on him, sometimes trying to get him to go to their place and get drunk, or hugging him and trying to kiss him on the lips/put their hands in his back pockets, etc. (I know he doesn't like it from them, so of course I didn't try it either :p ) He even pointed out the girls who did it. I didn't think much of it because he's sometimes told me about those types of incidents since we met, but my grandma says it proves he's trying to manipulate me into being jealous...however, she thinks the same of all men. And if that is his aim, it doesn't work, LOL. I'm normally a somewhat jealous person, but in these cases, I don't feel even a twinge. I know he cares about me, and that's enough for me. (This isn't just a gut feeling. Sometimes when I'm out with him a really cute girl will walk past and he won't even take his eyes off me to look at her.)

This is a guy who wouldn't hurt a fly, who I know for sure (because I've seen it) will hardly raise his head if attacked, either verbally or (God forbid!) physically. Yet there was another guy who was checking me out and Beren threw him a killing stare...then laughed sheepishly about it when the guy left, saying he (Beren) was "crazy". Then he said that if anything ever happened to me he would turn bad and stop at nothing until he found me and made sure I was OK. Then he wanted to pay for my taxi home, which I absolutely refused. I took the bus as usual.

Yet, because he still calls me "friend" (when he isn't calling me "princess" or "beautiful" LOL), I still have some silly doubts as to whether he really likes me (because I know he loves me, as a friend at least, if nothing more). But of course he does, right? I mean, the lingering hugs, the way-more-than-necessary pecks on the cheek, that photo of him kissing me, so many gifts, helping me find a room, showing me off to his boss and business competitors... Or am I reading too much into this? Because before I had any interest in him except as a friend I would have done all this for him. (Well, not the hugging and kissing. That goes without saying, I hope.) He was very badly off indeed...alone, sick, caring for his little brother and not a cent in the world even to eat. So I did help him out, and had I been allowed by my parents to do more I would have unhesitatingly helped him find a place to live and introduced him to my other friends. But I wouldn't spend all day calling him "handsome" or "beautiful", LOL...nor would I give any girl that stared at him the deathstare, LOL.

Thoughts???

[pcmaster]

Congratulations on meeting ! That sounds like real nice long date. Everything tells that Beren likes you more than a friend. Hes sure raging full with hormones lol. You are not reading too much into this.

He mentioned to me how some of the girls and even guys in other booths hit on him, sometimes trying to get him to go to their place and get drunk, or hugging him and trying to kiss him on the lips/put their hands in his back pockets, etc. (I know he doesn't like it from them, so of course I didn't try it either :p )

He would like hugs and kisses from You for sure. But think he will eventually kiss you on the lips anyway.

I took his hand as I said this, hardly realizing I'd done so

Thats where you broke touch barrier. Thats why he took your hands afterwards.

Hes trying too hard to give you gifts. That just proves he thinks about you a lot. But gifts are one language of love. There are 5 languages of love(Theres a book named like that too) I found this test and in the end says what two languages are important to you the most.

[PrincessKiara]

Congratulations on meeting ! That sounds like real nice long date. Everything tells that Beren likes you more than a friend. Hes sure raging full with hormones lol. You are not reading too much into this.



He would like hugs and kisses from You for sure. But think he will eventually kiss you on the lips anyway.


Thats where you broke touch barrier. Thats why he took your hands afterwards.

Hes trying too hard to give you gifts. That just proves he thinks about you a lot. But gifts are one language of love. There are 5 languages of love(Theres a book named like that too) I found this test and in the end says what two languages are important to you the most.

It wasn't really a date since we were at his workplace and he was working (he sells cell phone accessories). But it was so beautiful :')

We didn't go on the date on Monday, either, but he met me early and helped me find a place to live where they would take my myriad pets, hahaha... He has even less money than I do, but he insisted on paying for my rent and stayed to clean up my room when I had to go to school! I had nowhere to sleep except a small blanket and he gave me his hammock, his water jug and electric stove thingy...And yesterday it was 12PM and he wanted to make sure I had enough to eat... when I assured him I did, he said to send him a photo, saying that if I was lying he would come right over and feed me, LOL *blush* (I did have food, BTW.) But he... He's always looking out for me. I honestly don't know where I'd be now, if not for him.

The place he found for me...he used to live there. It's not pretty; it has no running water and it's full of bugs, but at least it's safe and has Internet. And his landlady tells me he's a very good person and never gave her any trouble...which fits well with everything I've ever heard about him from anyone else.

But I found out he's not 19--he's 21! And to look at him, you'd think he was maybe 17...

You remember how his boss gave me his papers to give to him? I didn't snoop...much lol. But the other day they fell out of the folder and when I was picking them up I noticed...

He'd told me he was just turning 19, even said he was born in '96...but his birth certificate and ID clearly show that he was born in '94. Not that I care--I always prefer older guys, even when I don't know they are older, it seems...but why the lie!? And it seems I'm the only person who thought he was 19. I spoke to his landlady and asked casually how old he was, and she said he was 21...so it's not just a mistake with his papers, nor is it a result of his having three different sets of papers due to the first two having been lost in a flood.

I don't get it. Why the lie? He knows I prefer to hang out with older people. I was actually pretty surprised that I like him, because I don't normally even enjoy hanging out with people my own age. Maybe he didn't want to scare me? I had this image of him as...well, as someone only six months older than I, and now I realize he's three years older.

I don't really care. As far as it goes, it's a harmless lie...and he's taken such care of me, without my asking and without having any sort of responsibility towards me...while my father, who DOES have a responsibility towards me, threw me away like yesterday's garbage. And I still love him to pieces. I could get used to his being older than I thought. I've spoken to others who know him, and they share my view of him as a good person...I've also watched him surreptitiously when he interacts with others. He's a gentle, sweet, soft-spoken guy with great manners and enough kindness to share with everyone he meets...doesn't drink, smoke, chase lots of girls or do drugs... And he has shown he truly cares. I feel so safe when he's near, or when he's holding me.

And he doesn't seem secretive at all! Quite on the contrary, he wants to introduce me to all his friends and to the one or two members of his family with whom he still has contact. He wanted to give me his Facebook password so I could log into his account and know everything about him :O So whyyyyyyyy? What gives?

I haven't seen him in person since I found out about his age, but I plan on asking him about that ASAP in a non-confrontational way. I don't even care how old he is...he knew I had a crush on a 29-year-old, for God's sake! But I do think I need to know why he did it, especially as he told everyone else his real age.

Gaaah. When I'm with him (and even when I'm not!), I've surprised myself with the intense longing I feel to get closer to him on so many levels. I would love to sleep with him (IN THE MOST INNOCENT SENSE OF THE WORD, LOL! I'm in no way ready or willing to do the other thing with anyone, not even with him yet. Just to cuddle up and go to sleep like I do with my cat and dog. xD) Maybe I'm just lonely and he's the only person I feel who truly has my back. And I'd do anything at all for him!

Definitely hoping for a kiss from him soon <3 His boss took away his rest day, but I rest on Saturday and will go to see him. I find it so beautiful, the way he looks at me, the way he insists on a way to keep in touch even if he won't have a cell phone/etc. He stares at me like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world and when I catch him doing it and smile at him, he smiles, hangs his head and turns away after a second. But he'll stare down any guy who pays attention to me. I love the way he defends me <3

[pcmaster]

Well it sounded like a real date.

This little lie sure wasn't beautiful. Think relationship should be build on foundation of truth. Thats when its strong.
From a positive side it dont change much, considering everything else is true. Best thing is that it came out sooner than later. Could be worse, for example he could be 2 years younger like 17 lol.

Think you should be living together. Seriously. Could be cheaper too for both of you lol. And could sleep innocently together every night.

But to be honest guy seems to totally lost his mind over you. If he even wanted to pay your rent. You should slow him down cause obviously he dont uses his big head to think.

Im sure one of things why he felt so hard for you is because we was going tru hard times when he met you and in the darkness you were light.
And you are not so different. Its great that you kids found each other cause as you both seen now world can be mean place and together you can just squeeze together like little birds and overcome the storms. Its great that you truly care for each other. Makes a world of difference.
Love is like a turtle shell that protects.

BTW here is that link for love language test. Its free.
[url=http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/]Language Profile | The 5 Love Languages®[/url]
5lovelanguages.com/profile/

[PrincessKiara]

Thank you for the test link, pcmaster I got:
8 Physical Touch
8 Quality Time
8 Words of Affirmation
5 Acts of Service
1 Receiving Gifts
No surprise why I'm usually considered very touchy...and maybe why I so badly want a kiss from Beren.

I just spoke to him on the age discrepancy. He really is 19, but has had to have several different copies of his birth certificate drawn up due to his stormy life. Now that he explained it, I do remember him mentioning something a while back on the subject.

He got up early this morning just to come see me...Woke me up so that I had only five seconds to jump out of bed and go out to greet him while looking like something the cat dragged in, yet he still said I was beautiful. I truly don't know what I did to deserve this amazing man. He's been through hell and back; compared to that, what's happening to me is a walk in the park, even though our stories are eerily similar. Yet, he holds me and says that he feels extremely worried about me and sad because of what's happening, and swears that he will stand by me to spare me the suffering he knows only too well!

He told me some more of his family history. He obviously didn't like talking about that, and he looked sad when he was done. I hugged him and he held me tight and stroked my hair a little bit.

All his actions and looks show that he truly cares. I just wish he'd SAY so already so I could stop wondering. I keep thinking, what if he's just this sweet to all his friends and that's all I am to him? Because I truly don't know what he sees in me. I see now that I have been spoiled. I am insecure, I talk too much and tend to overanalyze everything, and I'm not even that pretty physically. Many people tend to find me annoying as I'm chatty and love to sing, even though my singing voice isn't too bad...I get kicked out of my house and that's almost the end of the world for me...he's been struck at, humiliated, abused, and abandoned by the very people who ought to have loved him the most in the world, and he's stayed strong and kept his innocence, kindness and sweetness of disposition through all of it. Of his three brothers, he is the only one who has not turned to vice or fled his problems. How do I even deserve his attention, much less the care and respect he has shown me unconditionally?

I know, with all he's done already, I shouldn't want more. I feel incredibly lucky that he thinks me worth his while. But I can't help feeling that it's just me overanalyzing everything until he DOES something CLEAR. Why won't he tell me he likes or loves me or whatever, or kiss me? I've tried to give him all the signals. As I mentioned, I'm very touchy, but I hug him a little tighter and longer than I need to, and I have told him he can call me anytime. I have shown him that I will be there for him should he ever need me, and I often refer to him as "handsome" or "my crazy little boy". That said, this might be a good thing lol. I've never kissed anyone before, and I probably suck at it beyond belief, with how physically clumsy I am. I'm dying to be kissed by him and also afraid of it.

[EDITED PIC OUT]
This is the two of us together when I went to see him at his job.

I reeeally hope only members can see this...If not, mods, please edit it out :$ I don't mind posting a photo publicly, it's not like they'll take my soul through it...but I don't want it ALL over, nonetheless.

[pcmaster]

Nice to see you back again, [MENTION=82185]PrincessKiara[/MENTION].
Your test sure is even. 8-8-8 Seems to make sense that these 3 things are equally important to you. Then again you need very little gifts(seems legit since you are young girl. Usually older girls are longing for expensive gifts) If Beren only knew that he would go much further with you by giving you less gifts but more words of affirmation, he would never shut up.
But thats how it often is with younger guys. -Doing things that takes more work and often escaping the important easier part. It comes with experience. I hope he learns this with you, not the next girls.
Fact that he wanted to see you already early in the moorning only proves more of what you already know.
Its understandable that you want him to take your doubts away by telling you what you mean to him. You kinda know but how can you really know you know? I bet he dont says it because he hopes that you know, he hopes that he let you know by his actions. He hopes that you love yourself enough to be sure how strong he loves you.Saying this because he seems to be pretty much like me when I was younger. At least same mistakes with girls for sure.

he's been struck at, humiliated, abused, and abandoned by the very people who ought to have loved him the most in the world

Yes hes been tru all this. But this happens to all of us. Of course each case is unique and Beren had it harder than others. The closest people to us brings the most disappointment. -You should know it by now from your own experience. But protecting yourself from hurt is protecting yourself from happiness.

I'm dying to be kissed by him and also afraid of it.

You should write "Kiss Me" on your lips - that should give him a hint lol. Seriously he might think too much and besides be happy as it is to stay in his comfort zone. Im sure he want to kiss you however, just not dying for it. One of the stupid thoughts that come to his mind about kissing probably are - "Will she like it? What if she don't like it?"(+ being afraid of failure and humiliation when theres other people around. Young guys cares too much what others things of them when they make a move on girl ) Besides giving you pecks on the cheek might fool him thinking that he done almost enough. Sometimes when guy talk too much girl would say "Just kiss me already !" And it works.

How do I even deserve his attention, much less the care and respect he has shown me unconditionally?

Thats where you have to slow down on thinking like that. What really would help you, is seeing yourself with his eyes, be your friend too. What helped me to think positive about myself was spending time alone in nature. Then I suddenly understood how positive girl sees me. It hit me.
I been on a date yesterday and showed the girl the video I was watching earlier that day
[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1sj0i6Hsos[/url]
youtube.com/watch?v=M1sj0i6Hsos

Wanted to show it just so she could see the name of the video but damn girl started to watch the whole thing lol. Was sitting there and waiting. Then she started to watch another video "How to tell if guy likes you". Then I stopped her. Just was thinking if even girls are interested in these videos you might be interested as well.

Besides I think theres should be videos on topic "How to make a guy to kiss you".

This is the two of us together when I went to see him at his job.

He sure looks better than I imagined. Cute(No homo lol). And you look so happy, looks like that smile comes from deep within.

I reeeally hope only members can see this...If not, mods, please edit it out :$ I don't mind posting a photo publicly, it's not like they'll take my soul through it...but I don't want it ALL over, nonetheless.

I understand if you dont want these images to meet the wrong eyes. Im very sensitive about my pics on loveforum too. Its possible to see this pic by non members too. If you want them to be seen only by members then you should upload them in your album. Theres even setting where you can allow only friends to see it.

Wish you both all the best ^_-.

[pcmaster]

So how is it going [MENTION=82185]PrincessKiara[/MENTION] ? Would be good to hear and update on how things are going or if you had any new thoughts, even if its just a short update.

[PrincessKiara]

Well... I've spent the last two days with him. He's soooo amazing!!!!
He has a host of health problems, apparently caused by being born three months premature, in addition to his money problems, but he's just so brave about it all... And I've seen him cry because of what I'M going through!!! When he's been through HELL and back!!!
He came over yesterday... Took me to church with him, though that isn't my cup of tea at all I went for him, and the poor guy was so excited! Then he took me out for lunch and insisted on paying... Wouldn't stop staring at me, reaching out every little while to touch my face and hair... Will often touch my "porcelain cheeks" saying I'm beautiful, or just pull my eyes open a little wider to look... Then we sat in my room for a while but since my dog kept wanting to bite him we left and sat outside. He was freezing but I didn't feel cold so I wrapped my blanket around him and sat down right next to him to watch videos. Then I got cold and not even my sweater warmed me up, so he wrapped us both in the blanket... In a great hug... I leaned my head on his shoulder and he leaned his head on mine. And we spent hours that way.

Today again... I gave him a fish. And he took me to meet his."surrogate family" and accompanied me to the bus stop... First bus that came, he asked if I'd wait for the next one and I said okay. We talked and took pictures...

[pcmaster]

Thanks for update Kiara. So things are going well. Thats good to know. Cause wasn't sure what happened to you two. Don't want to analyze too much just wanna say that it sure is magic. Enjoy. You deserve it ^_- !