How to tell a male friend that you have feelings for him?

[Pominoz]

So I've had a male friend for many, many years.

I can talk to him about anything and he's always there if I need to chat about something or nothing!

Years ago he said that he could take this relationship further but didn't want to lose our friendship if anything went wrong (he was going through a divorce at the time). He jokes how we will be married one day etc

I have being single for a year now and he knows all the things I've been through with my ex.

How do I let him know how I feel about him without blurting it out or getting hurt myself?

[relblogger]

Thing with telling how a man likes you is that it's super easy.

Hey guy, I like you - want to date? And you'll get your answer. Short, sweet, to the point.

You'll never ever be able to let him know how you feel without your relationship together changing. You could get hurt, albeit all your dreams may come true. This is the risk that we all take.

Sounds like he likes you though. Guys don't just say "We'll be married one day" as a joke and don't mean they want anything more to come out of the relationship lol. If you properly listen to us there's generally no secret code. We mean what we say

[Pominoz]

Thanks for the reply.

People in their 40's don't ask to date. Well that's my opinion anyway lol

There have been positive signals however I was in a relationship so ignored them (wish I hadn't now).

But there have always been negatives like he doesn't want relationships and how he's spent enough on women in the past etc etc

His friend did refer to me as his wife the other day on the phone to which I laughed 😀

How can something so simple be so complicated? Wish I had a crystal ball 😉

[relblogger]

Haha.

Well. If you don't change the boundaries or take any risks you'll never know.

I get it. I really do. Women really want the man to make the first move. Sometimes us men are utterly clueless and need nudging.

My [now wife] asked me if I wanted to come out and watch the speedboat racing with her. Here we are, 9 years later, Married, with a kid lol

And don't wait too long!! Trust me on that, as a person that has lost out many, many times

[Pominoz]

So how do I change the boundaries?

I don't want to lose the friendship of 23 years if anything goes wrong!

Glad you've found the one and are happy 😀

[relblogger]

Thanks - I am. But life isn't without it's mishaps. Hehe

If you don't want to mess up a 23 year friendship then forget you even thought of an intimate relationship with him. Because as soon as it changes. It changes forever.

Hehe. I know what you want - you want to know how he feels about you without asking him yourself. You want to live in a twin reality where you can instantly switch to the best outcome. Life doesn't work like that I'm afraid

I see three choices here.

Talk to him about it - and roll with the outcome

Wait on him talking to you about it - and roll with the outcome. (This could be never)

Do nothing.

Either way - you will still have to make that choice and whatever choice you make will change your circumstances forever. Except if you do nothing, but doing nothing never solved anything