In Love with A Friend But it's Difficult

[Envision]

Hey, so just to start off, I am a 16 year old male from NYC. I've been friends with this girl for less than a year but already we've become pretty close. I see a lot of myself in her so as you can imagine we have a shitload in common despite having two completely opposite upbringings. Up until recently, I've felt nothing for her but now I'm beginning to realize how intense my feelings for her are and I think they've actually always been this way, I just never acknowledged it before. The thing is...my friend is far from even considering settling down. She engages in a lot of one night stands and such, which I've never really judged her for as she uses full protection, but deep down I know it's not the best thing for her. I also know I'm not her type and I don't think I could change her lifestyle but... I really love her. What should I do? I feel like she could maybe just maybe reciprocate the feelings if I tried, she gives me short glances every now and then...please help!

[Aparna]

Hey
First of all, you need to think n be sure if what u feel is 'friend love' or the 'love' love. Because we mix them up many times n things go wrong.
Secondly, if u do love her more than a friend, don't tell her that until u are extremely sure it's mutual. Cus u will really ruin ur friendship otherwise. I can tell, i just had to break up with my guy best friend a few days back cus of smthn very similar. Even if u both are understanding about it, things can get really complicated n messed up.
Yeah soo maybe u can flirt around a bit n just see if she reciprocates those feelings and act accordingly. Don't go too far though.

And about the one night stands, if u are very sure it isn't the best thing for her, then you should talk to her about it. Of course you can't n shouldn't change her as such but u can always discuss n like.. Get her to rethink her ways. It's after all your responsibility as a friend, eh? But really though, at the age of 16, some ppl don't like to be chained down with anyone. It's the time to.. Idk just have.... Fun u know? Nothing wrong with that.
Also, u can't really say if u are her type or not...who knows, right?

[smackie9]

Just give yourself some confidence and ask her out one a date. Do not tell her you are in love with her...that will make her run. Just tell her you think she is special and wish she would give you are chance. Now you do risk a lot. She could turn out to be a real heart breaker and have no interest in having a relationship with you or anyone else, or you could completely lose the friendship. Remember people are very different when they become a gf/bf. Their behavior and expectations change from friend to lover. this will be more complicated than you think.....hope you understand the risks and don't go into it blindly.