Missing Valentine's Day

[mikumiku]

Have any of you females, had your male partners miss Valentine's Day? Like they didn't spend the day with you, or they didn't have flowers and candy sent to you, or didn't even call, text, video chat with you for Valentine's Day? What were your feeling towards them for doing this? Did they make it up to you and celebrate Valentine's Day on another day? Would you stay with them even if they didn't do anything for you on Valentine's? What are your thoughts?

[topazlight]

Lots of people do not like being told when to feel, be or buy romance so they skip the holiday altogether for those reasons. I've never be given flowers for Valentines, only dinner or a movie, maybe a card and box of candy. I would stay with them if they were romantic and loving in general, it's only one day and it isn't my birthday so I don't really care that much.

[mikumiku]

Well I am hoping something happens for me on Valentines Day.

[awase]

I've been talked into doing the Japanese tradition for valentines and white day, and he never came through to get me anything for white day... let's just say I was a little more than pissed. I put a lot of money and effort into those valentines chocolates I made for him, too. It sucked. The next year I outlined exactly what I wanted to do on valentines day and he managed to check off all of those things in the cheapest, least romantic way possible. We broke up the next day, and I've never been happier.

[lovesickheart]

it deserves a conversation about it. Let him explain... and find out if he has given Valentine's gifts in the past... if he HAS, then dump his ass. His message is that he didn't want to go there with you.
If he has never given anything for Valentines day for whatever reason, maybe you can let him know you aren't cool with that for next year, and move past it.
That sucks, Im sorry that happened to you. Keep us posted!

[SuperHappyTime1]

No excuses. If it's a little bit of a romantic holiday, a decent man does something a little extra for his woman.

[mikumiku]

As they said on this one TV Show I watched, "Valentine's Day is the day that all men are judged". Hahahaha. Hopefully my Boyfriend can be more romantic with me doing little things here and there. Sadly we couldn't hang out this year but I am sure he will make up for it.

[TheEvilJester]

I'm sorry to keep jumping in when you are specifically directing this to women, but funny enough I'm finding the topics you've been bringing up are ones where I actually have a specific opinion.

So, again, coming from a guy's perspective....

I am actually a super romantic guy. That being said, I HATE Valentine's Day. Always have, always will. I hate that it is basically forcing you to profess your love for your special someone when that is something you should be doing on a regular basis anyway. I hate that it puts pressure on people to do something amazing for fear of their significant other hating them if they don't, or if their gesture is deemed too small. I hate that, like everything, this world has ruined it by raising it to ridiculous levels. I hate that it sucks being single when this day rolls around.

.....Yet, all of that said, when I actually DO have a gal, I make Valentine's Day very special. What is my point? My point is it is perfectly fine to disagree with the holiday and the super-commercialism it has become.... But that doesn't mean you are just allowed to skip it. If you have a significant other, get over yourself and deal. Yes, the holiday is a ridiculous Hallmark holiday that has misplaced the original point of the actual holiday... but instead of moaning about that, just make it special to you and your significant other. Make it special in your own way.

It's kind of similar to how I've always felt Mother's Day and Father's Day are silly. I don't need a specific day to appreciate my parents, I appreciate them every day. All the same.... I wouldn't just skip those days and refuse to acknowledge them.

[loveliving]

I totally agree what you said. Love or a relationship is not about one specific day or about how romantic you are that day. So let's just be romantic everyday

[mikumiku]

It would be nice if my Boyfriend was more romantic towards me everyday. Him and I sadly couldn't hang out this Valentine's Day due to him traveling, and last year his car was out of service, so perhaps next year things will be different.

[TheEvilJester]

Did he do anything special FOR Valentine's Day, at least? In other words, if he was traveling due to work or some other valid reason, then that is definitely a valid excuse to miss the actual DAY of Valentine's Day (though, he should at least make an effort to call on the day of if he can.) But, then you two should have agreed to just celebrate it yourselves on a different day. You could have done something special before he left or after he got back.

I mean, if he had to travel on the day of your birthday and couldn't reschedule that, would you two just skip your birthday completely? I doubt that (and I certainly hope not). You'd probably just celebrate it on a different day. Anyway, just food for thought for if that situation may arise again.

[melancholia]

Expectation is the root of all heartache. Why do people get so caught up in "Valentine's Day"? If you love your partner, then show them that you love them every day. Do little things that express your gratitude and love for your partner because it makes them happy (and because it makes you happy to do something for them & see them happy). One shouldn't be expected to be more romantic or do special things just because of one ridiculous Hallmark Holiday; they should do it because they want to, and because they know it would make their partner feel good.

[mikumiku]

He will make up Valentines Day to me someday in some other fashion I am sure.

[TheEvilJester]

Expectation is the root of all heartache. Why do people get so caught up in "Valentine's Day"? If you love your partner, then show them that you love them every day. Do little things that express your gratitude and love for your partner because it makes them happy (and because it makes you happy to do something for them & see them happy). One shouldn't be expected to be more romantic or do special things just because of one ridiculous Hallmark Holiday; they should do it because they want to, and because they know it would make their partner feel good.

Oh yeah. Like I said, I definitely agree with that sentiment. I am not AT ALL a fan of Valentine's Day. Still, I think it is something you should do anyway because it is the right thing to do if you are in a relationship. I mean, unless you both ACTUALLY agree that it is dumb and you aren't going to recognize it. And by that I don't mean that thing where people say "Oh yeah. Valentine's Day is dumb. Let's not get each other anything" and then Valentine's Day rolls around and they are super p*$$ed that there significant other didn't get them anything. LOL!

To me, it is just one of those unavoidable things, so more the trick is to make it special in your way. Make it special because you CHOOSE to express your feelings for the one you love, not because it is a designated day where you are basically required to express them. In a good relationship, it should just be yet another day where you make it very clear how much you appreciate your partner.

[melancholia]

I see what you are saying, TheEvilJester; and that's fair enough. However, I resent the obligation. I would rather my SO do something special for me because he was thinking of me and wanted to do something nice, not because of the obligation to subscribe to a holiday that was created by conglomerates to make money off of people who think that's how they should express romance in a relationship. Clearly, this is a discussion where everyone's opinion will be different. These are the types of discussions I love to have!