Shunned By Family - An Evil Burden I Bear For Loving Interracially

[Martin Brault]

I am a 50 year old white male, who for the most part of my adult life exclusively dated African American women. And I am a father of five beautiful Bi Racial children, all whom I love very much. With that being said, I know there are people who don't like or agree with Interracial Dating or Interracial Marriage, people who are adamantly against people of different races mixing. I get that, and that's their right to feel that way and to subscribe to such opinions. But what I don't understand is, how can a mother, siblings and other extended family members completely shun their son, daughter, brother, sister grandson, nephew or whatever, all because that person has decided to Date or Marry someone of another Race? It's beyond me to be able to grasp such nonsense. To me, as a parent myself and someone who comes from a large family. I love both my children and family unconditionally, as it should be. And although I don't always agree with what they say, what they do, who they love, their political views or what they believe in. At the end of the day I love them and support them in whatever decisions they make.

In my case, my mother, siblings and some extended family members, have completely exiled me from their circle. Why? Because I prefer African American women over White Women, and they can't stand that. I don't hate White Women, not in any sense. I'm just not attracted to them, that's all. Then you factor in my Bi Racial children, something else I think they have a problem with. But you know? I have no regrets having Bi Racial children, nor do I feel self condemnation for preferring African American women over White women. I'm just disturbed how it is that my mother, siblings and some of my other extended family members can just turn a cold shoulder to me and shun me because of the color of the woman I chose to love. And trust me, I'm never going to cow down, give in or allow myself to be pressured by anyone to change who I am. My happiness is defined by me, not others. And who I chose to love is my choice, not my mothers, siblings or other extended family members. Sadly I haven't spoke to my mother, nor my siblings or other extended family members in about five years. And that hurts me deeply. And no matter how many olive branches I extend to them, I continuously get rejected. I have done nothing to my family to deserve such treatment. I call my mother, siblings and extended family members on birthdays and holidays. They won't even pick up the phone, so I leave a message. I get no reply's. This is so wrong on every level. I would give everything just to hear my mothers voice. I'm not asking my mother, siblings and extended family members anything other than to love me unconditionally. They don't have to agree with all my choices in life, but it would be nice of they supported me.

Anyways! I guess it is what it is. I wish my family was more accepting of me, but I have to live with the reality that it is possible I will live the rest of my life without my mother, siblings and extended family members in it.

[megvoh]

Racists don't care about how others feel only about forwarding and continuing their bigotry.
Don't bother trying to understand live your life and love who you want regardless of the views of others. Your family are cunts, imo, you rose above their ideals and ways, be proud.

[Jffs24]

I agree with what meg told you, Martin.

Five years is a long time for your mother to not come around -- does she not want to even see or meet her grand kids, that's rough and cold. Stop trying, you tried enough, you have no guilt on this -- let them hold that nasty burden, you are free of it, man you've tried for years, if it was me I'd let go, make my friends my family and live your life. One day they will regret what they've done and if not a warm place in hell awaits them probably.

[Martin Brault]

Racists don't care about how others feel only about forwarding and continuing their bigotry.
Don't bother trying to understand live your life and love who you want regardless of the views of others. Your family are cunts, imo, you rose above their ideals and ways, be proud.

I wouldn't go as far as calling them ' cunts ', but certainly based on their attitude and behavior towards African Americans. The labeling them as ' bigots ' fits.

- - - Updated - - -

I agree with what meg told you, Martin.

Five years is a long time for your mother to not come around -- does she not want to even see or meet her grand kids, that's rough and cold. Stop trying, you tried enough, you have no guilt on this -- let them hold that nasty burden, you are free of it, man you've tried for years, if it was me I'd let go, make my friends my family and live your life. One day they will regret what they've done and if not a warm place in hell awaits them probably.

I agree, 5 years is a long time. But it is what it is. Very sad! And yes, I need to let it go.

[Jffs24]

It's a new year -- wipe the slate clean and move on without wanting their acceptance anymore, it will be liberating for you.

[megvoh]

Apologies if that word bothered you, but is a word we regularly use here for people who do what pleases them at the expense of others, ie your family and their prejudices.
Sad you even have to deal with that this day and age.
I second the let go of them and heal.

[Wakeup]

And I am a father of five beautiful Bi Racial children,

. I love both my children and family unconditionally

Can you explain the discrepancy in those two quotes, Op? As it sits... you've left us wondering Which two out of the five do you love unconditionally?

If you've fathered five but are only in the lives of two, perhaps its your behaviour that has them disowning you rather then who you've chosen as partners? Have they actually come right out and told you that they won't talk to you due to your choice of partner? I'm sure you'll clear that up though so I won't add anymore conjecture till we hear from you again.

[Jffs24]

I think his use of the word, "both" could mean equally as well as. [ lumping the two groups together ], Wakeup.

[Wakeup]

I think his use of the word, "both" could mean equally as well as. [ lumping the two groups together ], Wakeup.

Well, DUH to me.

Thanks Jffs.

[smarta$$]

To be honest, I am a little surprised that by the age of 50, you haven't come to terms with this yet.

Also, you said that you haven't spoken to your family in about 5 years, yet you have dated black women almost exclusively your entire adult life... This leads me to believe there is more to this story.