What do I do? Finding it hard to take next step...

[SDelight]

Basically met a guy, we talked for couple months, started to like each other and admitted we liked each other. We video (and he never used to come on his video- said he has phobia due to a past relationship ugh) and ya I should have known better. I helped him with some university calls, and anyways we used to talk a lot, exchange photos and he has aspects in future to come where I am (still does). For almost a year this was going on and inbetween I would ask what are we? He would never answer properly. The first time he said he wasn't ready, and I said ok and I gave it some time thinking it would go by and he would get his stuff together. Yet, I gave space but he would not like it if I didn't give my pictures etc. Me fancying him and wanting his attention would eventually give in. So a whole summer goes by, winter, and now stuck...I cut him out....he calls a lot for couple days. When I asked why he is calling he says 'Oh I just wanted to know about this immigration thing?'...then why bother calling when I emailed asking if everything was alright? Never writes back to my emails...he probably called to see whats up, but ****s up his communication. Last call (back in November) I told him how I was feeling (crappy) and he says sorry if I mislead you...like what the ****?! Mind you I always asked, do you just want to be friends....never answered...it was just very emotionally draining (and yes I know this is my fault too for this-not just hounding men because honestly I never have had issues with them as I am kinda a tomboy myself lol)...so ye after that time goes by and again he messages this time (messages me in Jan while I am on vacation) sort of being nice...then now month goes by and I get a msg '50 shades of black' 'go see it'...so I am like **** it....can't he just ask how I am doing? I am trying to get over my feelings for him and gave it a shot of being an associate but I just feel angry...any thoughts? I didn't reply back as I didn't know what to say, as I don't want him to msg as he pleases. I kept deleting and then adding his number yday..like a ****ing cycle...a part of me is trying to give him a chance to make things better I think? I just kept his number and I am alright (as I have been moving on) but I find myself not wanting to let him go hoping at some point I can be normal with him as an associate...anyone who reads this THAnk YOU!..basically shud i keep as an associate? or delete forever? Because as a friend, I don't see how he has been one.

PS...if you want to know what I have been doing to moving on part as many people may comment on move on sista...i have been gymming since oct..lost like 20lbs..working on my exams, talked to three guys inbtwn but alwys ended up talkin about my situtation and they hav been nice n my friends..but i am not ready to move on wit another person. and ya, just doing things..not simply crying my eyes out but it has really taken a toll on me.

[breathe123]

He sounds so frustrating with all his push & pulls on you. Like he's playing some mind game, do you feel that?
Set up a test for yourself with him, one that if he fails it again, delete him all together, does that sound alright or fair ~ could be anything, like asking what he wants from you, friends or more and if more suggest he do something you've wanting him to do, did you say he never video chats? then ask him to do that, or anything else he's been avoiding all this time. If he won't do it, makes 100 excuses ~ tell yourself, that's it.

Congrats on the 20 pounds weight loss.

[SDelight]

Hi, thank you very much for responding. Ya, its been tiresome. I just went a different level to separate myself from him and people in general by just keeping my phone off altogether til I get past my exam and some things going on at the moment. Just need a break. He hasn't been messaging prior to me doing that, so that's a good thing. I'm sad, but I know I deserve way better and just need to get myself together before talking with anyone at the moment. Thanks again!

[breathe123]

Hi & you're welcome, SDelight. Good luck on your exam & keeping focused on you for now. You never know who is waiting in the wings for you romantically & when you put your happiness first you'll get good results because you know all you won't ever accept from a partner again.